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In our schools, you simply can't quit band after the semester has begun and changing instruments is very difficult. So, I'd say you need to get the Band teacher/director in on a conversation.
Is there a reason that he wants to change that the school may be aware of that you are not? Perhaps someone complimented him on his guitar playing and he wants to pursue it? Perhaps someone else is playing the guitar that he thinks highly of and he wants to imitate/emulate them? Perhaps he is good at percussion yet the others are fantastic? Perhaps he wants an instrument different than what dad plays? Perhaps he was just frustrated and that was what came out of his mouth at the moment?
Once you understand why he said what he did, you can better guide him in the right decision for him.
If he truly wants to try the guitar, let the past guide you and don't invest such a heavy sum on one that forces you to consider the price in considering what the right decision is.
I've told him I would get him guitar lesson ~IF~ he continues to play his required drum lessons... etc.
He said no.
What's a Dad to do.. ?
I would explain to him the issues and then let him decide which way he wants to go but I'd let him get the guitar lessons either way. It can be a mistake to try to force a child into your own goals, they need to have their own.
When my daughters wanted to try a sport (Tae Kwon Do for one, dance for the other) I told them we would sign up but it has to be for a year. After the initial year, they both kept going in Tae Kwon Do. The one that wanted dance never started the class and decided she wanted to do Tae Kwon Do. Since she hadn't started and I hadn't purchased anything I allowed her to change her mind. After the year I told them they had to tell me on the first of the month which was when I had to pay dues for the month. If they had had a bad day or session, I just told them they had to finish out the month..since it was already paid for. It kept one going and the other one dropped. Works for me.
The original one that wanted to do Tae Kwon Do has long since dropped out with only her red belt. The one that wanted to do dance originally is testing in a month for her black belt. She has turned out the better for sticking with it too.
I don't know what to tell you..sounds like he is pretty set against it. I would have said stick with it till end of the semester and we will get lessons for Christmas if you still want to.
I'd let him go for guitar lessons. And I would hope he would still "play" with you on the drums for fun. You never know, perhaps he will enjoy both. I just wouldn't put out a lot of money on instruments unless several years passed with proven results.
I played several instruments, enjoyed them all. Hated piano lessons, but now wish to take them again.
Music should be fun and enjoyable.
I agree, he can play the drums for fun if he likes. Maybe he will start guitar lessons and hate it??? Did you ask him why he doesn't want to play the drums? Maybe he doesn't like the music he's playing.
Don't pressure him. My folks pressured me into playing the piano...I don't play anymore and they are stuck with a huge dusty piano in the living room.
I think I am going to have a different opinion than most. I say, let him quit. As long as he does something, it really doesn't matter if it is drums or guitar.
This is not your life, it is his. When you say that he will go on to a high school that is "Tops in the nation", it sounds like that is something you want, not something he wants. You need to take your feelings and wishes out of the equation and listen to what he wants. Maybe he wants to try guitar or maybe he wants to try soccer. It really doesn't matter, does it? As long as he isn't sitting on the couch playing video games every afternoon it should be his choice. If you push him to do something he hates, he will resent it and you.
I'm just providing some counterpoint, as someone with a 6th grader in band. Guitar would be outside the band program. YOu have said the band program is really spot on. Does your son not want he added pressure of band? Or does he not like percussion anymore? If this is a school commitment I wouldn't let my son just drop, unless there were serious academic issues. As I posted before, waiting until the semester is over gives him a chance to really decide if this is something he doesn't like ,and a chance for you to see if its impacting his schoolwork.
Great advice folks... thanks so much. We did talk last nite and he did kinda surprise me by saying he would continue with our drum playing, and we'd talk about guitar lessons. (He takes no Formal drumming lessons) except in school. So the drums athome are just extra..on top of the school rudiments etc. I'll delve deeper into the things happening at school Band practice to see (as one poster said) if there is any 'outside influences' swaying him either way..../
thxs !
Last edited by 1BigBear; 09-04-2009 at 08:45 AM..
Reason: mistyped
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