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As many as I have without all the time and money in the world- none! (Certainly have more time and money than I would if childed).
I knew absolutely I didn't want kids when I pictured meeting the perfect man for me- a great relationship, all the money in the world to do whatever we wanted, a wonderful connection (and yes, I know it's not likely, but it was hypothetical). Then I thought, well, with all the money, I wouldn't have to fear poverty (one early reason I never wanted kids) and we could hire people to take care of whatever.
Quickly, I thought, are you kidding? If I had a relationship like that, the LAST thing I'd want would be kids!
I also, more maturely, realized that if I looked forward to possibly hiring out childcare (boarding school, anyone) and time with a child, I obviously had no desire to spend any kind of time with a child, never mind being a parent.
I also recognized that, in a real-life promising relationship, being childfree could be a deal-breaker. I accepted this, and got a tubal as soon as I could get insurance to cover it. I happened to have been 30 at the time. Besides avoiding an accidental pregnancy (and certain abortion), I didn't want to be able to string some good man along with "well, maybe someday..." even though I then largely thought that no man actually wanted kids, that the woman is the gatekeeper for that issue.
I still think it's the very rare man who honestly wants to be a parent. I see plenty who lump into it "because that's what you do" or picturing throwing a football or something.
I've never met a man who already had a kid or kids for whom having another with a new relationship was a dealbreaker.
i feel fortunate that my feelings have always been so strong. No ambivalence, and no mistakes.
Add: Apologies. I thought I was still on the "great debates" forum, and realized to my dismay that I was on the parent forum. I do read threads like this, but recognize that, for posting purposes, I am other people's home forum, and wouldn't normally post here. Thank you for letting me speak here.
I probably would have had one more (We have one son) but financially could not swing it, plus I was 32 when I had him and he has mild Asperger Syndrome. Chances are our next kid would have been autistic or on the spectrum.
My lottery fantasy is a kid farm- a dozen kids, ten that are adopted (since I already have two at home). I'd do it in a minute, if I had the resources.
I would have 20 2-4 year olds if I could give them away once they reach school, and if someone else took the baby stage. I think that is the best age, they crack me up something fierce when they start a conversation and just all the crazy things they say.
But in reality I think 4 is enough for me no matter how much money or energy I have.
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