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The OP doesn't say that the mother works. A cleaning service is quite an expense when trying to raise two kids on your own.
I agree and that's why I said it was a luxury. The OP wanted to know how she could help her mom with her unclean house. The OP is grown and no longer lives at home so for her that would be my advice!
I agree and that's why I said it was a luxury. The OP wanted to know how she could help her mom with her unclean house. The OP is grown and no longer lives at home so for her that would be my advice!
Since the mother resents interference from the daughter, I'm guessing she wouldn't be too happy about strangers stepping in and cleaning her house. It's her private space and is really up to her.
It would be nice, but it wouldn't get to the root of the problem as to why the mother allows her home to be so dirty in the first place.
I went through something similar, days when it was an effort just to drag myself out of bed and go to work, forget cleaning the house. Combination of depression and anemia that went on for a long time.
For me a big part of the problem was not so much the cleaning as the clutter. Over the years so much stuff just seemed to accumulate and there never was to be enough space for everything and it piled up and piled up. The thought of having to sort through the piles of stuff would cause me to shut down, turn away and pretend the house wasn't a problem. I'd go through my Scarlett O'Hara routine and tell myself that "after all, tomorrow is another day", except of course tomorrow never came. Of course with a lot of clutter it makes cleaning more difficult. The dirtier the house gets the more overwhelmed you feel, it's a vicious cycle.
Along with proper medication, one of the things that helped me was dumping a lot of "stuff"when I moved. With most of the clutter gone from my house cleaning actually seems like a task that I can accomplish with a reasonable amount of effort now, instead of some perpetual chore that will never be finished no matter how long I work at it.
Talk to your mom, try to get a feeling for her reasons for not cleaning.See if you can't get her to see her doctor, I'm betting it's depression and/or a vitamin deficiency. Meds might help. If the house is cluttered maybe you can offer to help go through closets and cabinets and help her get rid of some things. This doesn't sound like something that will get better without some outside assistance of some sort.
Thank you all for your helpful suggestions. I am thinking that it may be depression as well. It's hard to bring up this subject with her because it is very touchy, and she immediately gets defensive. As for a cleaning service, depending on the costs, it may be possible for us to work something out. I guess I could also suggest to her that she seek counseling for depression, but I'm not sure how well she would take that, lol. Thanks again!
Thank you all for your helpful suggestions. I am thinking that it may be depression as well. It's hard to bring up this subject with her because it is very touchy, and she immediately gets defensive. As for a cleaning service, depending on the costs, it may be possible for us to work something out. I guess I could also suggest to her that she seek counseling for depression, but I'm not sure how well she would take that, lol. Thanks again!
It does sounds as if it's depression or some other emotional issue. Good luck to you in pursuing a resolution--you're a good daughter and sister.
By the way--you didn't exactly mention if she is accumulating "stuff" or just not doing regular cleaning, but I've seen a few episodes of that TV show about hoarders--people who accumulate items and cannot throw anything away, and it seems that it comes upon them at some point in their adulthood--most were not always like that. It's a psychological issue. Perhaps something like that is going on with your mom.
I had to look at this post to make sure it wasn't my daughter posting about me!
I am a single mother who workds full time and am also going to the community college to get my degree and hopefully improve our financial situation.
I often feel overwhelmed, and to be honest, I do the bare minimum right now as far as housework. I mean, other than emptying the litter box, cleaning the toilets, and doing the daily dishes and laundry I have let all the rest go. There is dust so thick on my furniture as I type this, I could write on it.
I don't care. It is not going to hurt us, and it can wait. And to be perfectly honest, when I am off, I just really don't feel like spending what precious free time I have cleaning the house. I'd rather do some things I enjoy, like being on this forum!
That being said, I would welcome the help, but trying to get two teenagers to do much more than scrape their plates after meals is a losing battle. No one can do it all. I decided I just don't have to right now. If company is coming though, I will clean.
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