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Really??? Are you serious? Getting married isn't a financial transaction.....
The hell it isn't.
Financial issues/disagreements are one of the main causes of divorce. Two people contemplating marriage had BETTER be on the same page, honest, and very realistic about the total financial picture before getting married. I applaud the OP for trying to think things through clearly. This shows an admirable sense of responsibility.
So this hypothetical wife that won't work, is she currently a girlfriend, or someone you're just anticipating in the future?
non-US citizen gf
Quote:
Originally Posted by arrieros81
What do you mean by having to support her for a couple of years, until she gets a green card? 70 gross isn't a lot at least in the northeast but it's doable. Share a car share a 1 bedroom apt.
yeah, she'd need a green card, which would take a couple of years, since Im still not on green card (other work visa). Little rock might be slightly cheaper than the north east though... I guess I did not point out I was living in Little Rock AR, which is relatively cheap.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JasonF
Why not just do the calculation and see?
Food will cost double. Rent will stay the same. Utilities will go up probably 30-50%.
Will you be adding your spouse to your health insurance? Car insurance?
Also calculate how your taxes will change if you get married but maintain a constant income.
So? There's no law that says you have to conform to some culturally norm of wasting lots of money. You can get married for < $100 if you don't want the fancy ceremony.
Thanks, Those estimations should help me get started.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jghorton
If more young people headed off into life with your attitude (thinking about whether you can afford things or not) ... far fewer young people (and our government) would be over-their-heads in debt. Marriage is a big decision and, while it probably isn't one you want to make on a financial basis, the cost of a big wedding and supporting a wife who is unable to work, is something you should evaluate.
Generally speaking, a couple can both benefit from some of the same one-time expenses (housing, utilities, cable, housing taxes and insurance). They can also reduce some other expenses by about a third of what it would cost two individuals (groceries, transportation) ... and then, there are some expenses that do not lend themselves to sharing or reduction (clothing & cleaning, personal hygiene, healthcare, entertainment). There is no fixed 'share-savings percentage affiliated with marriage, since spending varies by lifestyles and personal choices. You can (and should), however, build a budget based based on probable expenses.
Finances are also an essential area for every young couple considering marriage to openly and clearly discuss.
A few of the more common comments heard in pre-marital pastoral counseling are: "I had no idea you felt that way;" "I never knew or thought about that;" "In all the time we've been together, you never told me that." Believe it or not, there are many issues (and surprises) just as important as finances... that young people often never really discuss until after they are married.
I appreciate taking the time for this response. I feel like people were having a level of skepticism towards me saying "hey, i wanna know how much more Id spend if this happened to my life"... Everyone has been helpful, but you take a different approach to providing advice, and I appreciate it.
I would also like to add she is an extremely successful professional at what she does (self-employed), so as soon as she is able to work in the US, things would change dramatically (at least another 50-80k brought it)
I would also like to add she is an extremely successful professional at what she does (self-employed), so as soon as she is able to work in the US, things would change dramatically (at least another 50-80k brought it)
This is good. So your focus should be on saving enough now to cover the expense of supporting her in the interim. You might consider renting when she arrives, and remain doing so until she gets her business going and both of you have been saving and building credit for a while, then have a non-extravagant wedding, then getting a house based on one of your incomes and both of your savings.
Financial issues/disagreements are one of the main causes of divorce. Two people contemplating marriage had BETTER be on the same page, honest, and very realistic about the total financial picture before getting married. I applaud the OP for trying to think things through clearly. This shows an admirable sense of responsibility.
Because that is what the marriage was built on in the first place, so of course the marriage falls apart when the finances do.
This is good. So your focus should be on saving enough now to cover the expense of supporting her in the interim. You might consider renting when she arrives, and remain doing so until she gets her business going and both of you have been saving and building credit for a while, then have a non-extravagant wedding, then getting a house based on one of your incomes and both of your savings.
Are you a software developer by any chance?
Yeah that sounds like good advice. I could wait until after marriage to buy a house (again, culturally different, so we probably wont live together till after marriage, if we want her parents happy, which is retarded, but anyway...). The only reason why i was considering buying was that, instead of paying 1000 dlls for rent... I could be paying 1300 for mortgage (in little rock, that would be a decent house).
and no.. im not a software developer, or nothing like it. :P
Yeah that sounds like good advice. I could wait until after marriage to buy a house (again, culturally different, so we probably wont live together till after marriage, if we want her parents happy, which is retarded, but anyway...). The only reason why i was considering buying was that, instead of paying 1000 dlls for rent... I could be paying 1300 for mortgage (in little rock, that would be a decent house).
and no.. im not a software developer, or nothing like it. :P
Well, the idea is to have excellent credit and a good down payment (plus closing costs) while still retaining enough savings for an emergency fund and other expenses. Considering the expenses that come with buying and owning a home, it might be easier to save a bunch prior to the purchase, considering that you'll want to put down enough to make your mortgage lower, which in turn will make it easier to save in the long run since you're paying a smaller note.
This will be a lot easier to achieve if you're not also incurring the expense of purchasing and maintaining the home on top of supporting your wife while she is not working.
Because that is what the marriage was built on in the first place, so of course the marriage falls apart when the finances do.
Relationships shouldn't be built on money - but houses are. Vehicles, school, the needs of children, medical care, vacations, retirement - all those things cost money. When money is mishandled or people have different LIFE goals that they are striving to pay for, relationships are affected. It's just reality - there's nothing sinister about it.
What's irresponsible and weird to me would be two people getting married and NOT talking in depth about finances, already having a plan and goals they agree upon, and/or not having a clear idea of how they are going to PAY FOR their living expenses.
Love doesn't put food on the table. And nothing kills the mood quite like a call from the IRS or a bill collector.
Well, the idea is to have excellent credit and a good down payment (plus closing costs) while still retaining enough savings for an emergency fund and other expenses. Considering the expenses that come with buying and owning a home, it might be easier to save a bunch prior to the purchase, considering that you'll want to put down enough to make your mortgage lower, which in turn will make it easier to save in the long run since you're paying a smaller note.
This will be a lot easier to achieve if you're not also incurring the expense of purchasing and maintaining the home on top of supporting your wife while she is not working.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
Relationships shouldn't be built on money - but houses are. Vehicles, school, the needs of children, medical care, vacations, retirement - all those things cost money. When money is mishandled or people have different LIFE goals that they are striving to pay for, relationships are affected. It's just reality - there's nothing sinister about it.
What's irresponsible and weird to me would be two people getting married and NOT talking in depth about finances, already having a plan and goals they agree upon, and/or not having a clear idea of how they are going to PAY FOR their living expenses.
Love doesn't put food on the table. And nothing kills the mood quite like a call from the IRS or a bill collector.
Excellent points of view.
Thanks
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