Families with children - are you a single or dual income family? (pay, New York)

[mzforgetful]

I hope this question doesn't become a heated topic.
I'm curious as to how many families with children are either a single or dual income family.

If you are a dual income family
1. Do your kid go to daycare or do you hire a nanny or grandparents?
2. Roughly how much are you two bringing in combined annually? (I understand this question is quite personal so answer if you wish)
3. If one spouse made enough for the other to be a SAHP, would you?

If you are a single income family
1. How did you and your spouse decide on who would be a SAHP?
2. How much are you bringing in annually? (again I understand it's a personal question so answer if you wish)
3. How do you or your spouse feel about being the sole financial provider?

I understand nowadays a two parent working household is the norm but I'm just curious as to how families decide to either daycare their kids or stay home and forgo the second income.

[uptown_urbanist]

When our child was younger I stayed home (well, worked part-time for a bit, too) because my salary was relatively low and daycare was so expensive. My husband made more than twice what I made, so there was no question that if one of us stayed home it would be me. We could afford to live on just his salary and my economic contributions weren't essential, so it was easy to make that choice.

I don't think the question about annual income is particularly relevant unless it's coupled with local cost of living. It is not unreasonable to think that a family could feel financially strained on a 100k household income in a city like San Francisco or New York, while they'd be living in luxury with that income in a small town in the Midwest.

[Lowexpectations]

We are currently dinks but just recently started working on having kids

We will utilize daycare, gross income of 200k+ and if one spouse made enough one of us would stay home potentially. My wife has the potential to make a lot more than I do even though I'm ahead by a good margin right now and we have discussed me staying home

[bbnetworking]

single income family

1. How did you and your spouse decide on who would be a SAHP?

--- It was easy, my wife crazy about kids, I earn 3 times more than her.

2. How much are you bringing in annually? (again I understand it's a personal question so answer if you wish)

--- Enough

3. How do you or your spouse feel about being the sole financial provider?

--- My wife has confidence in me that I can and will provide for the family financially, while she loves what she does around the house and the kids, a housewife is her dream, so it works out well for us.

[usayit]

We are both....

For the first 5 years of our kids life we are single income and then slowly transition my wife back to work. We have 1 elder son currently at the age of 8. My wife was working part time for a year before we had our twins who are currently at age 2. At which we started back to single income... and still. This was planned from the beginning of our marriage knowing we would need to aggressively catch up financially once the kids are in public school and wife is working.

1. Do your kid go to daycare or do you hire a nanny or grandparents?

-- Daycare. We have no grandparents in the area. Nanny is too expensive.

2. Roughly how much are you two bringing in combined annually? (I understand this question is quite personal so answer if you wish)

-- Modestly.. Enough to enjoy good things (vacations) but live pretty modestly. Small house, inexpensive cars.

3. If one spouse made enough for the other to be a SAHP, would you?

-- That's what we did. We planned for single income from the day we were married. We never escalated our lifestyle even after my salary fluctuated. My income was always higher than my wife. On the other hand, my wife's salary is stable.


If you are a single income family

1. How did you and your spouse decide on who would be a SAHP?

-- Wife always wanted to experience SAHP but did not want to permanently. We planned from the beginning. Me being the higher income earner, naturally it made sense financially.

2. How much are you bringing in annually? (again I understand it's a personal question so answer if you wish)

-- Barely enough. No frills. Neither of us are really driven to spend large.

3. How do you or your spouse feel about being the sole financial provider?

-- Somewhat comfortable. My job isn't necessarily stable so there is always that worry about job loss.

[uptown_urbanist]

For what it's worth, I will also add that having one spouse not working (or if both are working, you're not dependent on both incomes to cover essentials) makes a really good safety net. While it could mean that if the working parent suddenly loses his/her job or can't work that you're without any jobs, it also means that the other parent can go back to the workplace and replace some of that income. Make sure you're on top of it as far as emergency savings and disability insurance, etc.; I do wish we'd saved more aggressively prior to becoming parents for that very reason.

[stoutboy]

1. We are a two-income family, one child. We send our son to daycare-though grandparents have been a huge help to us, and we are very fortunate in that respect, we want him to spend time with kids his age and socialize.

2. Gross hh is now about $220k, soon to be $260k.

3. We could feasibly do that now, but I think to do so would be absolute folly. The economic and societal conditions of the US and the world are getting more and more precarious. We are very lucky to be in our current situation, and I believe it would be tremendously foolhardy to leave that kind of financial security on the table.

Our son is surrounded by family and is adored, so the 8 hours a day he spends in preschool is a small price to pay for the future we are working to provide him.

[Aggiebuttercup]

I have done both.

When my oldest was born, I became a SAHM. My then-H had just graduated with his Ph.D and his new job paid more than we had made combined the year before. It was easy to sacrifice my salary.

After a year I realized I wasn't cut out to be a SAHM (I missed working), and I wasn't confident in the strength of the marriage, so I went back to work. Our child went to day care full time (as did the second, when he arrived).

Then we divorced and I supported the kids on my salary (with child support, which made xH and I essentially bring home the same amount of money). Again, full-time day care.

Now I'm remarried and am again part of a two-income family, with kids in day care. I make significantly more than my H. We save his entire salary [My ex is also remarried, and his new wife is a SAHM.]

In an ideal world I'd love to work 30 hours per week and be home with the kids after school. I don't see that happening; we depend on my job for health insurance, and, frankly, we love the curent savings rate. We're positioning ourselves to retire at 60, and to pay a significant portion of the kids' college educations.

[Mr. Zero]

1. We're a 1.5 income family. My wife works full-time and I work part-time. Grandma + Nanny provide childcare in the mornings and I + Nanny provide childcare in the afternoons. I had already established my career when we started our family, so it was easier for me to go part-time than it would have been a few years earlier. My wife is also considering going part-time as well once she makes partner.

2. HHI is pretty high. It will probably still be pretty high when both of us are part-time.

3. We have our financial goals and we're fortunate enough that we can still stay on target without either one of us really going all-out in our careers. I think both of us enjoy our work, but our priority is our family. If we had to choose one parent to work (which we've discussed) it would be my wife. Her career required more training, is better compensated and usually has better benefits.

[hml1976]

I'll bite we are a one income family, I've stayed at home for 10yrs now.

1. We decided that I would stay at home with our kids when they were babies because I wanted to and my husband wasn't interested. Ten years later we are both happy with the decision.

2. We have a high household income compared to most. Enough to send our children to private schools, take vacations, and meet all of our savings goals.

3. When I first quit working and we had a small baby he found it stressful, I remember having conversations about it. Now that he makes a lot more and we have savings that would cover a long period of financial hardship, it's just how we've chosen to live our lives. Occasionally I will be offered a job (usually somewhere I volunteer) but haven't found anything attractive enough to give up the flexibility of staying at home.

I'm just going to add that staying at home isn't for everyone, financially you really have to do the math, have the savings going into it, and you have to want to give up your career. I don't personally think it's necessarily had any positive effect on my kids or any stereotype like that, it's just been what works best for us.