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I finally asked my girlfriend to marry me. So.. now, its time to start looking into a wedding date, and how much money it'll cost... Along with figuring out when we want to own a house/condo... Now my main question is, should we open up a joint savings account for these things?? Or is that something you normally do after getting married? One of her well off family friends sent out a check already to congratulate... so we'd love to open it with that. My parents will be throwing us an engagement party too, so I'm sure we'll have something to save from that.
We have no idea what our budget is yet or anything... but we know its time to get a bit more serious about saving for it all
Great ideas. I saw an article on this topic at the Slate.com site in late January. The survey that went along with the article suggests most couples do have some kind of joint account -- it probably makes sense . More complicated questions will come around what is a "fair split" for things that tend to be unbalanced -- guys can get a decnt hair cut from some place that has coupons on the back of a grocery strore receipt but gals who want / need professional hari stylists / colorist could easily spend 10x more. Guys that need to wear suits to work everyday might spend a lot more on clothing and dry cleaning than even a health care professional / surgeon who might be able to get by with scrubs most days.
As far as budgeting for a wedding celebration an article in SmartMoney suggests avg is over $24k -- that is something that would go a long way to being a nice downpayment on a house!
Great ideas. I saw an article on this topic at the Slate.com site in late January. The survey that went along with the article suggests most couples do have some kind of joint account -- it probably makes sense . More complicated questions will come around what is a "fair split" for things that tend to be unbalanced -- guys can get a decnt hair cut from some place that has coupons on the back of a grocery strore receipt but gals who want / need professional hari stylists / colorist could easily spend 10x more. Guys that need to wear suits to work everyday might spend a lot more on clothing and dry cleaning than even a health care professional / surgeon who might be able to get by with scrubs most days.
As far as budgeting for a wedding celebration an article in SmartMoney suggests avg is over $24k -- that is something that would go a long way to being a nice downpayment on a house!
We're hoping to get some deals on a wedding due to strong connections in the area we want to get married... but 25K is a fair amount to assume atleast. Not sure how much help we'll have with either of our families yet.
I figured we'd keep our personal accounts, start the savings account for the wedding and house, and have a joint checking for normal bills and other joint expenses. I'd contribute a bit more because I make around 10K more a year, but I'm not overly concerned about that. I'm not as worried about the joint checking yet anyway. We've lived together for a few years, and have always split the bills 50/50, but I tend to pay more in groceries and such. I dont mind continuing this.
Now figuring how much we each put into this savings account a month is a different story, we'd have to see what we could afford to put in.
I can tell you what we did. When we got engaged we opened a joint expense checking account for our honeymoon, wedding expenses that we paid and checks we received as gifts, neither of us put any serious money into it (not that we had much!) because if something happens to the engagement you have a mess. When we were married and I had changed my name we moved all of our money into joint accounts, except retirement accounts of course. It took a little adjusting at first but I think joint accounts during a marriage are usually the best way to go.
Congratulations and best wishes. And now ...the unpleasant practical advice that nobody wants to bring up:
I would discourage you from pooling your money before you get married. If you want to start a "wedding fund," open a separate account and be sure to note who put what into it.
Also, don't underestimate the importance of full financial disclosure to each other -- how much debt you have, assets, etc. Discuss *exactly* how you plan to pool money, split bills, etc. once you're married. Talk to a lawyer to find out what marital property laws are in your state. If you guys don't think they're fair or right for you, consider a pre-nup. A clear, detailed pre-nup was the best thing my DH and I ever did for each other.
Congratulations and best wishes. And now ...the unpleasant practical advice that nobody wants to bring up:
I would discourage you from pooling your money before you get married. If you want to start a "wedding fund," open a separate account and be sure to note who put what into it.
Also, don't underestimate the importance of full financial disclosure to each other -- how much debt you have, assets, etc. Discuss *exactly* how you plan to pool money, split bills, etc. once you're married. Talk to a lawyer to find out what marital property laws are in your state. If you guys don't think they're fair or right for you, consider a pre-nup. A clear, detailed pre-nup was the best thing my DH and I ever did for each other.
Yeah, thats what I was thinking... No joint account before we're married, outside of a wedding account/down payment on a house. We're pretty educated on eachothers financial situations. We both have sizable student loans, and she has some CC debt that she has under control, and a great payment plan to get out of it all. I'll start researching the laws in MA, I would have never considered a pre-nup.. but it doesnt hurt to be better educated on what we're legally getting into exactly.
I can tell you what we did. When we got engaged we opened a joint expense checking account for our honeymoon, wedding expenses that we paid and checks we received as gifts, neither of us put any serious money into it (not that we had much!) because if something happens to the engagement you have a mess. When we were married and I had changed my name we moved all of our money into joint accounts, except retirement accounts of course. It took a little adjusting at first but I think joint accounts during a marriage are usually the best way to go.
yeah, we dont have much to put into the account yet... hopefully the gifts will get us started. I was figuring having personal checking accounts after getting married would be nice though... I just think that feeling like we'd both have to explain why we spent a certain amount on lunch, or why her hair cost so much doesnt seem necisary. Just have a certain amount we put into a joint checking, saving, our retirement.. then whatever is left over is still our own guilt free money...
I finally asked my girlfriend to marry me. So.. now, its time to start looking into a wedding date, and how much money it'll cost... Along with figuring out when we want to own a house/condo... Now my main question is, should we open up a joint savings account for these things?? Or is that something you normally do after getting married? One of her well off family friends sent out a check already to congratulate... so we'd love to open it with that. My parents will be throwing us an engagement party too, so I'm sure we'll have something to save from that.
We have no idea what our budget is yet or anything... but we know its time to get a bit more serious about saving for it all
Good questions. What I would suggest is that you can open a joint account that deals with things that have to do with wedding plans, start a household, etc.
The other areas not related to marrige put the money in your personal account. Once you get married I would suggest both of you put your inconme in the family account from then on and keep separate accounts for personal (allowance) use. Also, I strongly suggest both of you take personal finance classes or buy books on that. Sadly to say but overall your generation in general does not know how to manage your money. I dealt with that so much with my Soldeirs it was ugly. The bottom line it is a matter of plus and minus but as easy that concept should be it is good to read and take classes because you can see the wide variety of financial angles you need to look into, take care.
I was figuring having personal checking accounts after getting married would be nice though... I just think that feeling like we'd both have to explain why we spent a certain amount on lunch, or why her hair cost so much doesnt seem necisary. Just have a certain amount we put into a joint checking, saving, our retirement.. then whatever is left over is still our own guilt free money...
This is exactly what we do. We have our own checking accounts. Each person knows the other's PIN in case of emergency or whatever. Every month I transfer my half of the bills into his account and he pays the bills. I have an auto-transfer that transfers a set amount per week into our joint savings and he does from his account as well.
I pay my own personal credit cards out of my own checking account and he does the same. No one ever has to worry that they are spending more of the "house" money on their shoes, clothes, salon visits, manicures, video game purchases, DVD boxed sets, etc., etc. Also, at holiday and birthday time, the spouses won't see what the other spent on presents.
We both go food shopping and split it or he picks up stuff one day, I do the next. We have never fought over money. Ever. It's great.
I will say though, that we don't have kids so this arrangement works out fine. If we had kids, we'd have everything pooled in joint accounts.
This is exactly what we do. We have our own checking accounts. Each person knows the other's PIN in case of emergency or whatever. Every month I transfer my half of the bills into his account and he pays the bills. I have an auto-transfer that transfers a set amount per week into our joint savings and he does from his account as well.
I pay my own personal credit cards out of my own checking account and he does the same. No one ever has to worry that they are spending more of the "house" money on their shoes, clothes, salon visits, manicures, video game purchases, DVD boxed sets, etc., etc. Also, at holiday and birthday time, the spouses won't see what the other spent on presents.
We both go food shopping and split it or he picks up stuff one day, I do the next. We have never fought over money. Ever. It's great.
I will say though, that we don't have kids so this arrangement works out fine. If we had kids, we'd have everything pooled in joint accounts.
This is how we do things too, and also do not have kids. We do a rough split of the bills, which right now means that I pay the mortgage, and he pays most everything else, and that comes out pretty even. Every now and then I pick up and pay an extra bill.
I agree that if kids are in the cards, a joint account is much easier, and makes the most sense.
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