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Seriously? You can't take a subgroup of gay men and turn them into representing the majority.
You can if you're a bigot intent on treating the entire said subgroup as some monolithic block instead of as individuals.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hammertime33
The very best thing you can do to help curb the HIV epidemic in the gay community is to prevent young gay people from turning to drugs and alcohol. HIV infection in the gay community is directly associated with drug (primarily meth) and alcohol abuse.
Our society torments and abuses gay children (thankfully this is starting to change). Most gay people become aware of their homosexuality sometime around puberty. They are then constantly bombarded with messages of hate. They get it from the TV, from their parents, their aunts and uncles, their churches, their peers, etc. On average, the American high school student hears the word "f*g" 25 times a day and "gay" used as a pejorative 50+ times.
84% of out gay high schoolers or high school kids who are perceived to be gay report being bullied for it. 65% report being sexually harassed, and 65% report being afraid while at school. 40% report being physically assaulted for being gay. Statistically, gay youth are 7 times more likely to be assaulted at school with a weapon than straight youth. As bad as that sounds, it can be even more awful for a gay teenager to suffer in silence - so self-hating and ashamed of what he is that he keeps it secret and hides if from everybody at all costs.
It's little wonder that out gay teens drop out of high school at alarmingly high rates (something like 30%). It's little wonder that about half of all homeless teenagers are gay (it's disgusting how many parents disown and throw out children they discover are gay). It's little wonder that nearly 40% of gay teenagers attempt suicide. It's hardly surprising that gay teenagers often hate themselves and end up turning to drugs and alcohol at much higher rates than their straight peers.
So again, the answer to the crisis is to accept and love gay people - especially gay and lesbian children. If you want to curb the HIV epidemic, end the bullying and abuse of gay people in our schools. If you want curb the HIV epidemic, stop tolerating or even encouraging homophobia, bigotry, and discrimination. If you want to help curb the HIV epidemic, go find a gay teenager and tell him that he's perfectly fine the way is, that there is nothing wrong with being gay, and that he doesn't need to change a thing about who he is - or simply go spread that message at your local school or church.
Well said as usual. It's a shame that I cannot rep you any further.
I also think it needs to be noted that since gay males can be either the active or the passive partner ("top" to "bottom") during intercourse, there's a heighteneed risk of acquiring HIV from unprotected sex. One never knows what someone else's sex life was like prior to them. The passive partner has a higher risk of contracting HIV from unprotected sex. So straight women and gay men who "bottom" need to always make sure to have protected sex if they are not in a committed relationship with a partner who has been tested appropriately.
Knowing a handful of downright slutty straight men, I scoff at the notion that the average gay man is any more "sex-obsessed" than the average straight man. Sure, gay sex is different from straight sex and I genuinely believe that a lot of gay people are more open-minded on issues of human sexuality than their straight counterparts. But I don't think the average gay man is any more proned to going out and having risky sex than the average straight men. The consequences can simply be slightly different because of the way human anatomy works. It always make me cringe when anti-gay people casually toss out stats as if to say "look at what happens to you when you're gay" as if there are no consequences for having risky sex for straight people as well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by modeerf
Thanks for your candid answer.
Gay is defined by hetero's as a sexual decision. Homosexual.
Would you still be gay, if you were celibate?
And why?
(1) Sexual orientation is not a decision. Sexual intercourse is a decision. Would you just go out and start sleeping with a person of the same sex despite having zero attraction to them? If not, then don't project this sort of nonsense on gay people just because you don't happen to have the same orientation and cannot relate. You're over-thinking homosexuality as many people tend to do.
(2) Yes, one is still gay even if they are celibate just as one is still straight even if they choose to be celibate.
You have a great point that this is a serious issue that needs to be addressed. Now that I got that out of the way, let me explain why your post is truly disgusting.
If you really had the inside "perspective" (as laughable as that sounds) into the gay community which you claim most do not, then you would know of the countless gay organizations, community centers, and youth groups aimed at fixing the HIV problem facing the community. You would know that it's a widely acknowledged problem that is being tackled head on.
I know it seems like that group can be more promiscuous, but you clearly aren't so much attacking the act as you are the individuals performing the act.
I know for a fact you are lying. Most people who read your post do. You don't have many gay friends, and you don't know people with HIV. If you did, trust me, you wouldn't write this post. Unless of course you think the best way to make gay friends is to go to the local S&M club or masquerade as a tranny on Craigslist (since you have such an inside perspective, am I being far fetched here?).
Yes, your post is homophobic, in fact, it's possibly the most unnerving I've ever read on here because you're trying to sound so legitimate and "caring" in order to cover up your "disapproval" of those who live differently than you.
Why don't you leave this issue to those of us who actually care about it and you can go focus on more other important things in your life.
I do have an insight into the gay community most folks don't have, arguable even moreso than many gays that don't have interaction with a large group of gays from all walks of life, from all over the country and world, and who have grown up in various backgrounds. Because of this, my perspective probably seems strange and I can see you're getting that when reading what I've written. I know what I write is very straight forward, and there's a reason for that. Like I've said my prior posts, there are problems that are not acknowledged, not talked about, minimized or outright denied when brought up. That's why I'm very straight forward with what I see. Actually, I'm like that with just about anything. I've been told, by a gay man actually, that I have "no sense of denial". I don't think that's exactly true, but I am pretty straight forward. No, I wouldn't say the things I've said here in anonymity to most of the folks I know. That wouldn't be nice. BUT there is a lack of social accountability, even within the gay community, that if weren't lacking would serve to deter much of the self-destructive behavior in said community. Why this is, I don't know exactly. One reason I can think of for the lack of social accountabilty and lack of open condemning of said destructive behavior is that it could fuel the anti-gay fire and perhaps stall or slow down the increasing acceptability of gays in our society. Not being gay, this I don't fully understand, but it makes sense. Those gays that I do know who I believe do condemn and dislike the destructive behavior of a large segment of their community are mostly silent about it and behave accordingly, simply choose not to partake in such behavior or even distancing themselves from the scene that is centered in the city and try to assimilate with normal, every-day people in the suburbs. But yeah, like you said, I'm more for correcting of the behavior of the rogue, free-for-all individuals than attacking the community as a whole. Destructive behavior (to the gay community and society as whole) shouldn't be tolerated and just because folks are gay, they shouldn't get a free pass. As for Craigslist, Adam4Adam, Gay.com, and I'm sure numerous other sites, you can check them out to get an idea of just how incredibly promiscuous many gay guys are. Research articles (the little coverage that is out there) on the gay public sex epidemic. And just think to yourself how small of a proportion the gay population is to how openly prevalent the promiscuity exists. All that said, this all directly relates to to the spread of HIV and the 1-in-5 thing, even within the sample community, is strikingly high to me. I didn't know that many gay individuals have HIV, though I could have figured it out from my anecdotal "sample group". 1 in 5. 20%. Nearly half don't know they're infected. Doesn't that make you afraid for the entire gay community? The community centers and public education is great, but there needs to be more open acknowledgement and social accountability.
There is no such thing as a perfectly designed and consistent entity as GAY. Human beings are not machines and sexuality comes in all sorts of shapes and different degrees of behaviors. On a wise level..the person that states that "society torments gay children"- to para phrase...no one knows for sure if a child is predisposed to certain types of behavior. kids should be left out of this issue...and I will say this again and again...Let nature take it's course and stop interfering and using children as a political foil for pro and anti-gay arguments.
All these problems did not exist 50 years ago..what people did privately was private..There were no real gay bashers...there were no real gay "agenda"- there was no whining about civil and human rights. -Cos' no one knew your business...and if they did..People at best would say "He is a confirmed bachelor"...or he is *****...meaning strange and contrary to the norm...I believe people were more tolerant in the old days...and less so now that society is forced to embrace things they would not give a second glance.
There has been no progress in the last 50 years- it's been regressive. As a kid two of my friends - I found out later were "gay"- odd...one got a girl pregnant- the other wrote love songs about woman..No one talked about it...and it was fine...and no one would pick on a young person who seemed femalish...The biggest insult they would get was being secretly called a "fairy"---and I don't remember anyone persecuting them...
So this brave new world of freedom for all is not what it is advertised to be...Privacy is power...the giving up of privacy, leaves one open to abuse..Keep you sex life to yourself...it's not like a communal activity...Cos' - personally I don't want to know what you do with your wife-- your girlfriend or with another man.
...All these problems did not exist 50 years ago..what people did privately was private..There were no real gay bashers...there were no real gay "agenda"- there was no whining about civil and human rights. -Cos' no one knew your business...
So you think pretending to not be gay is the answer?
I do have an insight into the gay community most folks don't have, arguable even moreso than many gays that don't have interaction with a large group of gays from all walks of life, from all over the country and world, and who have grown up in various backgrounds. Because of this, my perspective probably seems strange and I can see you're getting that when reading what I've written. I know what I write is very straight forward, and there's a reason for that. Like I've said my prior posts, there are problems that are not acknowledged, not talked about, minimized or outright denied when brought up. That's why I'm very straight forward with what I see. Actually, I'm like that with just about anything. I've been told, by a gay man actually, that I have "no sense of denial". I don't think that's exactly true, but I am pretty straight forward. No, I wouldn't say the things I've said here in anonymity to most of the folks I know. That wouldn't be nice. BUT there is a lack of social accountability, even within the gay community, that if weren't lacking would serve to deter much of the self-destructive behavior in said community. Why this is, I don't know exactly. One reason I can think of for the lack of social accountabilty and lack of open condemning of said destructive behavior is that it could fuel the anti-gay fire and perhaps stall or slow down the increasing acceptability of gays in our society. Not being gay, this I don't fully understand, but it makes sense. Those gays that I do know who I believe do condemn and dislike the destructive behavior of a large segment of their community are mostly silent about it and behave accordingly, simply choose not to partake in such behavior or even distancing themselves from the scene that is centered in the city and try to assimilate with normal, every-day people in the suburbs. But yeah, like you said, I'm more for correcting of the behavior of the rogue, free-for-all individuals than attacking the community as a whole. Destructive behavior (to the gay community and society as whole) shouldn't be tolerated and just because folks are gay, they shouldn't get a free pass. As for Craigslist, Adam4Adam, Gay.com, and I'm sure numerous other sites, you can check them out to get an idea of just how incredibly promiscuous many gay guys are. Research articles (the little coverage that is out there) on the gay public sex epidemic. And just think to yourself how small of a proportion the gay population is to how openly prevalent the promiscuity exists. All that said, this all directly relates to to the spread of HIV and the 1-in-5 thing, even within the sample community, is strikingly high to me. I didn't know that many gay individuals have HIV, though I could have figured it out from my anecdotal "sample group". 1 in 5. 20%. Nearly half don't know they're infected. Doesn't that make you afraid for the entire gay community? The community centers and public education is great, but there needs to be more open acknowledgement and social accountability.
Not as many straight people "hook up" on a site the equivalent of a Adam4Adam or a gay.com because the dynamics of male-male sexual relationship is inherently different from a male-female relationship which is inherently different from a female-female relationship. If more women treated sex like men (and many do, btw), then there would be tons upon tons of sites like that for straight people as well. There may already be and I just don't know about them.
Are you equally as concerned about correcting the destructive behaviour of straight individuals who have risky sex that are also spreading HIV amongst a host of other diseases and having unplanned pregnancies? What are you guys doing to correct this behaviour? Don't you as a straight person have a responsibility to correct this lack of social responsibility? These free-for-all individuals cannot be tolerated. Why aren't these rogue breeders trying to assimilate with everyday people in the suburbs?!?
All these problems did not exist 50 years ago..what people did privately was private..There were no real gay bashers...there were no real gay "agenda"- there was no whining about civil and human rights. -Cos' no one knew your business...and if they did..People at best would say "He is a confirmed bachelor"...or he is *****
Hahahahahahaha.
The reason those "problems" did not exist 50 years ago was because if somebody did come out or "whine about it," he would be subject to assault by the police, arrest and imprisonment, involuntary commitment to a mental institution where it's possible he'd be subjected to shock therapy or a lobotomy, or perhaps just a good community lynching.
Knowing a handful of downright slutty straight men, I scoff at the notion that the average gay man is any more "sex-obsessed" than the average straight man. Sure, gay sex is different from straight sex and I genuinely believe that a lot of gay people are more open-minded on issues of human sexuality than their straight counterparts. But I don't think the average gay man is any more proned to going out and having risky sex than the average straight men. The consequences can simply be slightly different because of the way human anatomy works. It always make me cringe when anti-gay people casually toss out stats as if to say "look at what happens to you when you're gay" as if there are no consequences for having risky sex for straight people as well.
Straight men are actually on average, more promiscuous.
Gay men:
"In a study of sexual behavior in homosexuals and heterosexuals, the researchers found that of gay and bisexual men, 24% had one male partner in their lifetime, 45% had 2-4 male partners, 13% had 5-9 male partners, and 18% had 10 or more sexual partners, which produces a mean of less than 6 partners."
Another study showed that gay men had an average of 6.5 sexual partners in the past 5 years. The study also showed that "homosexual and bisexual men are much more likely than heterosexual men to be celibate".
A random sample of primarily straight men (n=3111 males who had had vaginal intercourse), the mean number of sexual partners was 7.3, with 28.2% having 1-3 partners, and 23.3% having greater than 19 partners.
I defy anyone who thinks Straight men are not trashy and promiscuous to go to bodybuilding.com's relationship forum. These guys have contests of how many "sluts, whores, etc" they can sleep with unprotected in a given week.
To be sexually deviant you would have to have sex..These people are not having real sex...sex means opposites...engagement with the opposite sex is actual sex.. What we have is government sanctioned hedonism at any price.
But first of all in order to have sex, one has to be hot looking, like appealing enough to get naked with. All the gays I've known who died of AIDS or are HIV+ were all good looking. Homely gays, lacking in sex appeal, were unable to indulge in a promiscuous sexual lifestyle and so very few are HIV+. In that way born to have little sex appeal as an adult has its up side. I'm sure a lot of older homely guys are alive today, because they were rejected by those who appealed with them, who were HIV+.
I do have an insight into the gay community most folks don't have, arguable even moreso than many gays that don't have interaction with a large group of gays from all walks of life, from all over the country and world, and who have grown up in various backgrounds. Because of this, my perspective probably seems strange and I can see you're getting that when reading what I've written. I know what I write is very straight forward, and there's a reason for that. Like I've said my prior posts, there are problems that are not acknowledged, not talked about, minimized or outright denied when brought up. That's why I'm very straight forward with what I see. Actually, I'm like that with just about anything. I've been told, by a gay man actually, that I have "no sense of denial". I don't think that's exactly true, but I am pretty straight forward. No, I wouldn't say the things I've said here in anonymity to most of the folks I know. That wouldn't be nice. BUT there is a lack of social accountability, even within the gay community, that if weren't lacking would serve to deter much of the self-destructive behavior in said community. Why this is, I don't know exactly. One reason I can think of for the lack of social accountabilty and lack of open condemning of said destructive behavior is that it could fuel the anti-gay fire and perhaps stall or slow down the increasing acceptability of gays in our society. Not being gay, this I don't fully understand, but it makes sense. Those gays that I do know who I believe do condemn and dislike the destructive behavior of a large segment of their community are mostly silent about it and behave accordingly, simply choose not to partake in such behavior or even distancing themselves from the scene that is centered in the city and try to assimilate with normal, every-day people in the suburbs. But yeah, like you said, I'm more for correcting of the behavior of the rogue, free-for-all individuals than attacking the community as a whole. Destructive behavior (to the gay community and society as whole) shouldn't be tolerated and just because folks are gay, they shouldn't get a free pass. As for Craigslist, Adam4Adam, Gay.com, and I'm sure numerous other sites, you can check them out to get an idea of just how incredibly promiscuous many gay guys are. Research articles (the little coverage that is out there) on the gay public sex epidemic. And just think to yourself how small of a proportion the gay population is to how openly prevalent the promiscuity exists. All that said, this all directly relates to to the spread of HIV and the 1-in-5 thing, even within the sample community, is strikingly high to me. I didn't know that many gay individuals have HIV, though I could have figured it out from my anecdotal "sample group". 1 in 5. 20%. Nearly half don't know they're infected. Doesn't that make you afraid for the entire gay community? The community centers and public education is great, but there needs to be more open acknowledgement and social accountability.
I'm not afraid for the entire gay community.
Adam 4 Adam tends to be a hookup site, yes, and so is Grindr, but Craigslist and Adult Friend Finder are equally used by straights as well. Yes, there are women and men who enjoy hooking up with each other. Have you been living under a rock?
There was an invention called condoms which help promote safe sex and decrease the spread of HIV by over 90%.
Why don't you respond to the recent post that showed, on average, that straight men or more promiscuous? And where do you think straight women and prostitutes get their STD's? From sitting next to a sick stranger on a train?
Your posts are disturbingly warped and display the kind of homophobia I hate the most because you are so blind of the fact that you're displaying it.
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