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I think that is a big consideration. If someone used a lot of slang or cussed up a storm, I wouldn't give them access. But we don't always talk to everyone we see. We judge even what we see in passing. Someone who is dressed like a slob and doesn't care about their appearance will more than likely turn out to be someone I couldn't tolerate for long. Kinda like the poster who said they judge people by how they keep their homes.
I certainly forgive being in casual clothes on the weekend a lot more as some people are dressed up during the work week and want to relax, but basic grooming and cleanliness is appreciated. Of course, if they are going to an extremely nice, classy restaurant dress up a little. If it is a fast food or casual place like Subway or Chipotle or pizza parlor, then no big deal. It depends on the setting.
You think so? Tell me this. Would it raise more eyebrows for a wealthy man to marry an overweight, unattractive woman in his own economic class or a thin, beautiful poor woman?
Probably more eyebrows raised if he married the overweight, unattractive woman in his own economic class.
After pondering the whole discrimination and judging issue for a while, I have come to the conclusion that people will judge a person much more by the way they speak than any other factor. I think the way a person talks is much more heavily judged than what a person wears or what they look like.
I think people judge speech in this order:
1. their syntax (grammar)
2. their diction (word choice)
3. their accent/understandability
Thoughts?
When I first moved to US in 2000, people discriminated me for poor English and an accent.
I started over: got my GED graduated from college, they stopped. Of course.
Now, I was married twice and left two abusive husbands. ( Any woman would, if they had to suffer the amount of abuse and BS I had to take). And because of my looks and the disadvantaged past, I am considered a sk@nk.
I left my son with my first husband ( the kid has a dad as a babysitter and I pay a good portion of support to keep him taken care of). I am being called a bad mother? For what? Because my first husband birth control sabotaged me and I was kind enough to avoid an abortion trying for 5 years with that twisted man? So, getting out of crappy marriage and getting a degree made me, well, a sk@nk again and a bad person!!! lol It just gets better and better...My second husband tried to ruin my credit to keep me around, because ectopic pregnancy did not really get me on hook with him. lol So nobody is pleased with me...Because I take no more ****, LEFT BS BEHIND, which makes me rude, arrogant and a "s***" and such and such: the worst things you can call a woman ( BTW, I saved my virginity for a marriage). S**nk anyway!
My answer? I flip a mental bird to those low lives and move on to my success.
After pondering the whole discrimination and judging issue for a while, I have come to the conclusion that people will judge a person much more by the way they speak than any other factor. I think the way a person talks is much more heavily judged than what a person wears or what they look like.
I think people judge speech in this order:
1. their syntax (grammar)
2. their diction (word choice)
3. their accent/understandability
Thoughts?
No.....people judge people by the way they look. Then its how they speak.
[quote=Chimuelojones;28889382]I speak well. i write poorly. I BS-ed my way through life.
I judge others on how neat their home is. a messy house, is a messy mind. A clean house, is a boring person.
Don't make me come over there.. My house is almost always spotless and uncluttered. I had a new friend come over for the first time and he was greeted by my new puppy, my neighbor and their new puppy, the three boys from across the street and their cat. Clean house yes, I work in a hospital. I'm germophobic, boring. Never.
You think so? Tell me this. Would it raise more eyebrows for a wealthy man to marry an overweight, unattractive woman in his own economic class or a thin, beautiful poor woman?
Interesting question! But take it a little further - is the thin, beautiful, poor woman also an uneducated stripper or "escort" or barista at some coffee place, or doing some other sort of lower-level collegy minimum wage type job.... and is the overweight, unattractive woman a lawyer, doctor, CEO, CFO, from a wealthy well-known and established family, or higher-up administrator of some sort?
The man might marry the unattractive overweight woman because she would be more socially acceptable in his society, but he might go around her back and have the affair with the beautiful, thin woman who his peers might not take seriously or ever fully accept as "one of their own".
As much as we may want to believe that in America we operate in such a way that class doesn't matter, in all honesty - it does. Luckily, we are the sort of country where you can work your way into a different class in order to improve your life. We have several president's and a plenitude of American millionaires and billionaires who are prime examples of this. Plenty of Holly Golightly's, too.
Last edited by haggardhouseelf; 03-30-2013 at 12:40 PM..
I left my son with my first husband ( the kid has a dad as a babysitter and I pay a good portion of support to keep him taken care of). I am being called a bad mother? For what? Because my first husband birth control sabotaged me and I was kind enough to avoid an abortion trying for 5 years with that twisted man? So, getting out of crappy marriage and getting a degree made me, well, a sk@nk again and a bad person!!!
If or when people assume you are a bad mother, it most likely has very little to do with the leaving an abusive husband or going to college (those choices are good things which proves how strong and determined you are). It is most likely because you knowingly left a child with an abusive man.
Also, I think any woman - regardless of her level of education or where she comes from - is thought poorly of if she does not take her child(ren) with her when she leaves a relationship. It's not "fair", I know, but that's just how our society thinks. If the father gets custody of the kids, and the mother can leave without having to take care of her own kids - people assume that something must be horribly wrong with her. I'm not saying that's right, it's just what's common.
If or when people assume you are a bad mother, it most likely has very little to do with the leaving an abusive husband or going to college (those choices are good things which proves how strong and determined you are). It is most likely because you knowingly left a child with an abusive man.
Also, I think any woman - regardless of her level of education or where she comes from - is thought poorly of if she does not take her child(ren) with her when she leaves a relationship. It's not "fair", I know, but that's just how our society thinks. If the father gets custody of the kids, and the mother can leave without having to take care of her own kids - people assume that something must be horribly wrong with her. I'm not saying that's right, it's just what's common.
I can see that. But I was all by myself with nowhere to go at the time. I could not take a kid with me if I wanted to. Now, NC judges would not let me take my son to FL, they care too much about the state's revenue. That guy was abusive to me, he seems to be OK with the kid, other than his closet weird sick twisted porn addiction. I contacted CPC after I found porn on my son's laptop not long ago , wrote DA...Nothing. Consulted with the law firm, they all said judges do not want the kids leave the state etc etc... so he is 11 now, I am waiting for him to say he wants to move in with me, but he is also getting brain washed ( he is smart and has a mind of his own, but still). I have everything I need to take care of him now ( because of what I have accomplished)...Anyways, it is what it is. Society can f itself as far as I care
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So, getting out of crappy marriage and getting a degree made me, well, a sk@nk again and a bad person!!! lol It just gets better and better...My second husband tried to ruin my credit to keep me around, because ectopic pregnancy did not really get me on hook with him. lol So nobody is pleased with me...Because I take no more ****, LEFT BS BEHIND, which makes me rude, arrogant and a "s***" and such and such: the worst things you can call a woman ( BTW, I saved my virginity for a marriage). S**nk anyway! 
Don't make me come over there.. My house is almost always spotless and uncluttered. I had a new friend come over for the first time and he was greeted by my new puppy, my neighbor and their new puppy, the three boys from across the street and their cat. Clean house yes, I work in a hospital. I'm germophobic, boring. Never.
so he is 11 now, I am waiting for him to say he wants to move in with me, but he is also getting brain washed ( he is smart and has a mind of his own, but still). I have everything I need to take care of him now ( because of what I have accomplished)...Anyways, it is what it is. Society can f itself as far as I care 
