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And just for white folks to know. If you have a black friend, but never mix with them when they are among their other black friends, you aren't their real friend. They probably think that you will embarrass yourself, and maybe them, by your possible discomfort of being outside your usual cultural environment.
Or maybe you are just afraid of being in an environment where you are the only white person, and they know this.
So stop thinking that you are "color blind".
I say this to whites because non white professionals have to be more culturally adept, because we most often work in environments outside of our cultural "norm", so have learned to be more adaptable. Any non white who thinks that they will progress while only remaining within their niche is fooling themselves.
Indeed minorities must be adept at operating within societies where they aren't the dominant group.
While you have good intentions, and I believe that a color blind society is ideal, until everyone else is colorblind, you're basically acting like a toddler who covers its eyes to hide from everyone else. The problem of racism doesn't go away just because you don't see race.
IMO it's best to view a person of a particular color as an individual, with the exception of acknowledging that other people may not see that same person the same way and that their life may have been affected, either for better or for worse, by their perceived color.
The question "Do you have friends of another race" is bound to overstate the number of people who do, because there will be plenty of guilt-ridden white liberals who, despite all their charitable donations and volunteer work, have no minorities in their circle of friends and feel the need to say that the janitor at work or their landscaper is their friend because they say hi and have shared a joke once with them. Sorry, that person's only your acquaintance, coworker, or at best a "Facebook friend", not a real friend. So it's likely that the real number of white people with no non-White friends is much higher. A better question would be "Do you have any friends of another race who have been in your home for a completely non-professional purpose?" or "Have you ever dated someone of another race?"
The question "Do you have friends of another race" is bound to overstate the number of people who do, because there will be plenty of guilt-ridden white liberals who want to acknowledge that the janitor at work or their landscaper is their friend because they say hi and have shared a joke once with them. So it's likely that the real number of white people with no non-White friends is much higher. A better question would be "Do you have any friends of another race who have been in your home for a completely non-professional purpose?" or "Have you ever dated someone of another race?"
I deleted this post because it was meant for another poster. I apologize.
Last edited by softblueyz; 02-27-2014 at 10:30 PM..
And you live in the USA and you seriously believe this.
I will give you a project. Go into a black neighborhood tonight and then tell me tomorrow that you didn't feel weird being the only white person in sight.
I wouldn't even ask why this black neighborhood even exists in this color blind USA which you pretend exists.
That wouldn't be an issue if nearly every black neighborhood wasn't a crime-ridden ghetto where I'm statistically much more likely to get robbed or shot. That is the issue, not the skin color of the people who live there.
So, a white person who treats a black person or a non-white person with respect and being polite is a sign of being a guilt-ridden white liberal? And if a white person doesn't, they would be racist? Seems to be a damned if you do, damned if you don't thing. You mentioned individuality in an earlier post. If you take people individually regardless of race, why do you think that white people are incapable of doing the same?
How many white friends do you have? How many have been in your home socially?
Never claimed that white people are all racist or that if they treat minorities with respect, they're guilt-ridden. I'm targeting guilt-ridden white liberals who talk the talk of being tolerant and open-minded and anti-racist but only surround themselves with other white liberals. It's a good trait to treat people including minorities with respect, but don't claim them as your "friend" unless they really ARE your friend. That is my point.
I've had White, Asian, and Black friends in my home for social reasons, not that that is relevant for anything in this thread. I suppose I haven't had any Latinos in my home, which does make me ponder. Thanks for asking.
And just for white folks to know. If you have a black friend, but never mix with them when they are among their other black friends, you aren't their real friend. They probably think that you will embarrass yourself, and maybe them, by your possible discomfort of being outside your usual cultural environment.
Or maybe you are just afraid of being in an environment where you are the only white person, and they know this.
So stop thinking that you are "color blind".
I say this to whites because non white professionals have to be more culturally adept, because we most often work in environments outside of our cultural "norm", so have learned to be more adaptable. Any non white who thinks that they will progress while only remaining within their niche is fooling themselves.
Indeed minorities must be adept at operating within societies where they aren't the dominant group.
Thank you for your professional opinion doctor. Did you make your career in studying white people? You seem to think you can identify people who have white guilt and how white people think. What makes white people comfortable and uncomfortable.
Just how many white friends do you have? Do you feel the same way about them in that you don't bring them around your black friends? Do you explain to them why? That they may embarrass themselves and in turn embarrass you? Do you tell them they will be uncomfortable if you take them out of their usual cultural environment? Do they know that you really aren't a friend? Do you ever socialize with their white friends?
The fact remains that social class is no longer an excuse for some one to claim that they cant make friends with people of other races, so there must be some other factors at work here. I submit that in a diverse country we need to understand what this is all about.
So why hide the problem?
It's often times hard to relate to someone of another race or culture, and try to understand why they do the things they do that seem to annoy people of other races/cultures. Because to understand these things, you would have to ask questions. And when you start asking these questions, you are quickly labeled a racist, so it's a lose/lose situation. Thus, it's just easier to stick with your own kind.
The fact is, there ARE differences between us, and we can't sweep these differences under the rug and pretend they don't exist. We need to have some real back and forth dialog about this stuff. It's like a married couple who are always fighting, but are not really allowed to talk to each other about what their issues are. And trust me, I have a laundry list of grievances with certain groups of people. And it's NOT because of the color of their skin, but because of the way they act. If that makes me a racist, then so be it. I guess I'm a racist then.
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