Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
According to opinions i ve been reading in other threads in this forum, it seems that people here seem to assume WOMEN are responsible for raising kids for the most part. They might have a job or work few hours but they expect them to do the most part of the raising. They assume its gonna be like that. I get it, this is a highly conservative forum, and those are for the traditional values of family, etc.
But if you think like that, can you justify it? Is it from a biological point of view? Purely social? Why?
Generally speaking, yes. Women are expected to spend more time than men raising children. It is socio-biological. Women are more nurturing than men. This has been the case throughout history to the present day.
There will be some individual exceptions to this. But sex roles are mostly hard-wired.
Yes, it is determined by gender. No, a man is not capable of being equivalent to a female mother. A female is not capable of being equivalent to a male Father.
The thing is each generally has a particular influence or contribution that is based on biological/chemical make up that makes us more feminine or masculine but one or the other is not better or required for parenting. As detshen keeps saying humans are remarkably flexible and either parent or gender can compensate for the other and raise their children successfully.
Generally speaking, yes. Women are expected to spend more time than men raising children. It is socio-biological. Women are more nurturing than men. This has been the case throughout history to the present day.
There will be some individual exceptions to this. But sex roles are mostly hard-wired.
There are lots of exceptions to this. Just because women have been held to the position of caretaker of their children does not make them more nurturing.
Science has proven for a long time that the so called "maternal instict" is a social construct.
Yes, we can bear children in our bellys and have the abilty to produce milk.
But, other than that, we are not naturally better at raising children than men
So....women are able to provide shelter and nourishment during the gestation of the child, and then provide life-sustaining food for them once they have left the safety of the womb, but other than that they aren't naturally better at raising children? Okay, I'll buy that, after the first 3 or 4 years maybe. There is a difference between raising and caring for a child. Sure, a man can raise a child and teach them about life just as well as a woman could. But a woman is far better suited to ensure that a child can survive long enough to get to that point. I know, I know, these days you can just run out and grab a can a baby formula. Honestly, that's the only reason this is even being discussed. Modern advances and conveniences have made it more feasible for mothers to no longer have to stay with their children as much as they had to throughout the rest of history. Before modern times, mothers staying with the children, at least over the first few years of their lives, was a necessity as the mother provided an alternate food source. I'm sure this may sound crazy to some, but my great-grandfather told me that he was the youngest of his 9 siblings, and that he actually breastfed all the way until he was 7 years old. Of course, this was not his only food source at this point, but the family was poor, and rarely was there enough to go around. So the youngest was supplemented with breast milk. So yes, when it comes to actually raising the children, I'd say either parent can handle it. But if we are talking about initial nourishment and protection of the child, the mother definitely takes the trophy.
PS. Not to mention the immunities that are passed on from mother to child both in the womb, and through breast milk and even contact with the mother's skin.
In many satisfaction surveys of parents that I've read over the decades, 66% say if they had it to do over again, knowing what they know now, they would never have had kids. This percentage has stayed consistent and was the same in the UK, which surprised me.
Divorced men have told me that, while they loved their kids, their marriage went to hell with the birth of the first one and they were treated like a money machine by their ex-wives. Most of these men got vasectomies afterward.
So before you breed, maybe you should spend time a lot of time babysitting to give your friends a break. Then get a dog.
I think roles in families are best left to the family to decide rather than random people at large. Mind your own business if it doesn't involve you.
My husband was laid off the month before our twins were born and we decided rather than daycare he would stay home and I would go back to work after the planned 8 weeks off. He was home for 18 months and then we worked opposite shifts so one of us was always home rather than someone else watching them. It worked for us but the older people in my family (my dad mostly) had an issue with it but I told him to $TFU.
I think roles in families are best left to the family to decide rather than random people at large. Mind your own business if it doesn't involve you.
My husband was laid off the month before our twins were born and we decided rather than daycare he would stay home and I would go back to work after the planned 8 weeks off. He was home for 18 months and then we worked opposite shifts so one of us was always home rather than someone else watching them. It worked for us but the older people in my family (my dad mostly) had an issue with it but I told him to $TFU.
Totally agree. A good friend of mine worked for a drug company making $$$$$$$$$$$$ so when she had her second child - her husband quit his job and stayed home by mutual agreement. HE really wanted the second child.
It worked well for them. Husband loved being active during the day; riding kayaking, volunteering at the school; teaching gym classes and he was much more outgoing than his wife. He was soon quite popular at the school as a volunteer and he enjoyed the attention and interaction with the kids.
Now - both are retired at 55 with a boatload of money and their kids are doing well.
Totally agree. A good friend of mine worked for a drug company making $$$$$$$$$$$$ so when she had her second child - her husband quit his job and stayed home by mutual agreement. HE really wanted the second child.
It worked well for them. Husband loved being active during the day; riding kayaking, volunteering at the school; teaching gym classes and he was much more outgoing than his wife. He was soon quite popular at the school as a volunteer and he enjoyed the attention and interaction with the kids.
Now - both are retired at 55 with a boatload of money and their kids are doing well.
That is awesome for them. It made a huge difference for us and now that they are 26 and doing well, I am retired and he is working toward it. Just a few more years. But man the opposite shift thing was hard and not everyone would want to do it, and we hardly saw each other those first few years. Still worth it though.
That is awesome for them. It made a huge difference for us and now that they are 26 and doing well, I am retired and he is working toward it. Just a few more years. But man the opposite shift thing was hard and not everyone would want to do it, and we hardly saw each other those first few years. Still worth it though.
I'm sure that was hard. I love it though when people just . . make it work for them. That's all that matters.
I don't care which one it is as long as it is at least ONE of them. Apparently each parent working 2 jobs is the new norm? How you expect kids to be normal with, effectively, no parents?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
