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Sorry I disillusioned you, but I am just being honest. A lot of young men, me included, had a Mrs. Robinson in our teen years, and very few of us were ruined for life. I look back on the experience as a great transition to adulthood, and she taught me a lot of things that helped me get through those awkward years.
Instead of suing her for a million bucks, I should pay her the money.
Would you feel the same way about a 31 year old man having sex with your 14 year old daughter?
Glad you weren't adversely impacted, but you know nothing about this child and his emotional makeup.
Sorry I disillusioned you, but I am just being honest. A lot of young men, me included, had a Mrs. Robinson in our teen years, and very few of us were ruined for life. I look back on the experience as a great transition to adulthood, and she taught me a lot of things that helped me get through those awkward years. She was gentle, kind, very understanding, and patient.
Instead of suing her for a million bucks, I should pay her the money.
Eighth grade and 15? When you finish the 8th grade you are 14 at the oldest, so he repeated 1 grade. I wonder if he repeated the 8th grade? If so it was on purpose.
Lucky kid.. get laid and gets a million bucks. What didn't I think of this? Of course if I was the teacher, I'd never pay that settlement. I'd buy a bunch of bitcoin, hiding any assets I have, and file bankruptcy. Screw that judge and the horse he rode in on. Sorry, there's no emotional distress over a 15 year old male getting laid by a schoolteacher. It is Oklahoma, so this is expected. As for all the people saying how wrong it is, you are correct that a teacher should not be having sex with students, though I see nothing particularly harmful about a 15 year old male getting laid by a female in her 20's.. if anything he'll turn out more confident and socially well adjusted and be a better man for it. The biggest ill in modern society is men not being able to get laid. It's literally the psychological equivalent to counseling for a male only better to be able to get any sex at all. Accept this is how men are wired and you'll begin to understand us better. I'd be more concerned if this 15 year old turned into a socially awkward individual who never got laid until they were 30 than I would this scenario. Kudos to the teacher, congrats to the kid.
So we should make it against the law to rape teen girls and not teen boys.
Got it.
Would you feel the same way about a 31 year old man having sex with your 14 year old daughter?
Glad you weren't adversely impacted, but you know nothing about this child and his emotional makeup.
No, I would not feel the same way, I admitted there is a double standard in this world. Our little girls are angels and off limits, even to having sex with their teen boyfriends. Is it fair and reasonable, probably not, but that is just how it is.
Now, as far as me knowing nothing about this child's emotional makeup, no, but I was his age once and I knew a lot of other guys my age, and beyond. Believe me, NO young man is damaged in any way by having a little love affair with a lady who might be a few years older. It just is unreasonable to even think they would.
Boys and men do not think like females, we just don't. 99% of guys would be bragging to their buddies and telling all the details. Unless you have lived inside a male head, it is impossible to explain how our thinking process and values are much different from those of a female.
So we should make it against the law to rape teen girls and not teen boys.
Got it.
Okay. What not? Teen boys are ready to have sex much earlier than teen girls. Girls want attention from the boys, but more of the platonic kind. Meanwhile, the boys of the same age want to get the girl alone and feel her up. Any teen boy that has erections is curious and interested in sex. With all those hormones during puberty changing those teens into men make it masturbation city. Girls are different in that their sexual organs are internal and their clit is small. They don't have to deal with bulges in their pants telling them that their body is ready for sex.
Wasn't it out west, like in Nevada, that there was a tradition of fathers taking their sons to a "chicken ranch" to learn about sex? And better than that teen son experimenting with a teen girl and getting her pregnant, with most likely the girl not truly enjoying the experience of being probed by an awkward horny teen boy.
And I've posted this story before, but back in the late 70's when I was at college, one of my best friends told me that she'd had a relationship with one of her teachers in high school... and she was fine with her experience. And she's still fine to this day. Married, happy, confident and with two great children.
Anyway, men and women have different views about sex. They are wanting it earlier in life and even later on in life, and more often than women. In a way, that's why the gay dance clubs seemed so perfect in the 80's, a bunch of narcissistic oversexed men having a great time every night with their anonymous and casual flings. The gay men seemed a lot more happy with their singles scene than the straight men going to straight clubs and trying to score with as many women as possible with women who really just wanted to fine a cute guy to date, marry and have kids with. But then the AIDS epidemic came along and ruined everything.
No, I would not feel the same way, I admitted there is a double standard in this world. Our little girls are angels and off limits, even to having sex with their teen boyfriends. Is it fair and reasonable, probably not, but that is just how it is.
Now, as far as me knowing nothing about this child's emotional makeup, no, but I was his age once and I knew a lot of other guys my age, and beyond. Believe me, NO young man is damaged in any way by having a little love affair with a lady who might be a few years older. It just is unreasonable to even think they would.
Boys and men do not think like females, we just don't. 99% of guys would be bragging to their buddies and telling all the details. Unless you have lived inside a male head, it is impossible to explain how our thinking process and values are much different from those of a female.
Been there, done it.
So what's the cutoff age? 11? 12? 13?
Sorry but not everyone's experience is the same. Any adult who would have sex with a child of either gender deserves to be locked up.
This is disgusting. My son is that age and I would be livid if this happened. He's a child.
Probably this kid, who is likely age 13, was thoroughly massaged into his heavy duty guilt and depression in no small part by his own similarly disgusted Mommy howling endless arias of dramatic outrage for his benefit.
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The knuckle - daggers with the double standard here are revolting. If this were a girl and a male teacher I bet you'd be singing a different tune.
As for this second point, a female adolescent can be intimidated or cajoled into sex without having the slightest interest in wanting it, whereas a male adolescent has to be aroused for the it to happen, even if very confused, and this difference is not minor. An erect penis knows that it wants to feel even better than it already does, even as the mind connected with it may have many doubts about the project. So, such experiences are not, in fact, an easy six of one and half dozen of the other at this age. Legally, yes; but the fact of the necessity of male arousal and the feelings that go with it does give it a different psychological turn than as if it had been a male adult and female eighth grader.
On the other hand, it certainly does not change the fact that the youngster is being used by an authority figure, and that this use is a crime.
Lucky kid.. get laid and gets a million bucks. What didn't I think of this? Of course if I was the teacher, I'd never pay that settlement. I'd buy a bunch of bitcoin, hiding any assets I have, and file bankruptcy. Screw that judge and the horse he rode in on. Sorry, there's no emotional distress over a 15 year old male getting laid by a schoolteacher. It is Oklahoma, so this is expected. As for all the people saying how wrong it is, you are correct that a teacher should not be having sex with students, though I see nothing particularly harmful about a 15 year old male getting laid by a female in her 20's.. if anything he'll turn out more confident and socially well adjusted and be a better man for it. The biggest ill in modern society is men not being able to get laid. It's literally the psychological equivalent to counseling for a male only better to be able to get any sex at all. Accept this is how men are wired and you'll begin to understand us better. I'd be more concerned if this 15 year old turned into a socially awkward individual who never got laid until they were 30 than I would this scenario. Kudos to the teacher, congrats to the kid.
OK..so change the gender of the teacher..still feel the same way?
This is not an advocacy for indulging anything... except "Talking about Responsibility" its talking about life in the terms of realism which exist, and if it did not exist none of this sexing would being taking place.
This stuff has been going on for a very long time, for so long, these women were able to hide behind the fiction society promoted that women are only aroused when men make the move. Reality is showing, women are individuals who have their own sexual motivations and proclivities, and it is not based on some "promoted image of what people want to associate with a concept of innocence", they are just people, who happen to look how ever they look as individuals.
In various cases, as has been shown, they are "doing" these boys and girls, on a frequency far higher than is being reported. It did not start in the last decade and most of you know that.
Turn on any TV Anywhere, and what you see is... the advertisement running 24/7 of young people wrapped in a scene with sexual overtones in what they say, what they do, how they position their bodies in poses and the set designs they are captioned, and anyone is or should be aware that within the Modeling Agency System has been out with baited hooked for any slim figure pretty faced girl... the minute they turn 14, and if she is anywhere close to being 5'7" or taller, they ramp up the pursuit. This is seen in low level, to top level fashion magazine or other publications. Not only is is making women in general go crazy, trying to look like a developing teen, people are spending fortunes at plastic surgeons trying to defeat the image of a matured body and figure, to emulate the 'dressed and made up fiction, that is targeted at them.
They dress them up as provocateurs, and pretend its about "fashion", when they are selling enticement and allure, seduction and "get busy" promotion from every angle of the imagination.
These Teacher went through college and it is without a doubt, someone tried to hook them up during that time. We watched the same thing in the Clergy for decades upon decades, and turned a blind eye. TV is rife with "baby sitter movies" that are created like a training program, for "seduce someones husband and play house". Everybody closes their eyes to the women pursuing women in the school girl and teacher scenario and pretend it is everything other than what it is. They focus on direct attack upon the same of men who are part of this activity, as if they can vilify him more than they are willing to do the same to the women. He is called a monster, and the woman is treated as just a person who had sex with another, with a slap of the wrist because society, promotes women as non responsibility in some ways for their sexual conduct. When fact is, as a woman told me years ago, "women create and know how to create the allure and enticements and how to use submissiveness as well as assertiveness as in attracting techniques. It's people - Male and Female... they both are with the basics of human sexual proclivities and motivations !!!! if they were any less, we'd not have "billion's of people" on this earth.
Human nature is always with many dimensions and perspectives of how they conduct themselves; a bit more than 100+ yrs ago, by the age of mid teens, people were sexing each other up, people were talking marriage and being married, in the pre-industrial age, and because the industry system changed, and put age restrictions on jobs accessibility it did not change the human beings biological system, nor their proclivities that come with what is puberty. Nature is nature in that regards and not controlled by "industrial employment standards". .
Advertising has specific targets in how it promotes to tell women to 'act and dress like a teenage well into their early 30's..." "It sells products"... but it also influences people. Its within the deep investment within the psychological methodology of Marketing, Promotion and Sales Techniques, all applied to the general tonality of much of the day advertising, whether they are selling car tiers, or shower curtains, and certainly it is dominant within clothing wear fashion promotion... as well as much else that is seen everyday in the Media. Today, No-one can shut out Media Advertising and Marketing, its the most profitable business in America !!!! If you don't permit ad's on some web sites, they simply block their content, others bombard one with absurd and gross side bar imagery, that indicates the level of absurdity and the vulgar of pictures that are meant to disgust, so you click to another page where they have more ad's to entice for the sake of profit. Now, they can't even write a story on a single page, because the scheme is to lead you in, so you click another page where they can sell more ad's. Video's play automatically, and other ads pop up and hide the "X" to close it any way they can to make it difficult, and the ensure they get that 4.2 seconds of your attention before you can close the ad.
Soap Opera's have been training people to seduce each other since the beginning of Soap Opera's... if they are not 'bedding down someone", heck.... in some cases any character that get notoriety in these Soap Opera's, get it by 'bedding down whom they can", and or "trying to get money" or "engage in some revenge if sex did not get them what they want, or if they did not get the money the way they sought it out".
Lifetime Moves has a ongoing theme of the very same things. You can't turn on a Prime Time Laugh a Minute Laugh Track Sit Com, without every 1.5 minutes someone is pushing a coded phrase, with a sexual inference.
Oddly, in many of these cases, its the "thrill of the moment", and not the psychological damage people claim, its these young people, 'getting to engage the fantasies that are common in youth", and these 20 something, 30 something teacher are not that far removed from it. What do people think generalized conduct is on college campuses, what do they think "Spring Break has become to be", or maybe its always been what it is, "a sex fest with many twist"...
But over it, it has the same point of fact that was often sent out as a blame on Men, as being Sexually Motivated, What this is telling is there is no big difference between the Sexual Motivation of Women, than there is of Sexual Motivation in women... They simply go about it different, because our culture promotes the focus on the difference in methodology of approach and initiation... but it does not mean, that one is more sexual than the other.
Look around... not just America but many other places... Sex is an actively pursued and engaged part of society, and by the time people reach "puberty" they will make decisions about stuff they want to do, and who they want to do it with.
People would like to think some Utopia Ideal, but actually... its real world... What is not normal, is people "forcing themselves upon others"... but in these cases, these people even with their age spread in years, are all at the Puberty and beyond years, and they are making decisions. When or If Caught, either or both, will say or do what they can to get the "ridicule off their backs'... That might be the greater damage being done not to one but to both.
This is not an advocacy for anything... its talking about life in the terms of realism which exist, and if it did not exist none of this sexing would being taking place. I don't think there is any "master fix for it", because we are talking about "human beings" and we are talking about a society that has a "hyper-sexual influence" in the media, on the web, be it computer or cell phone or how ever they access media. Even commercials now, 'are based on what ever is "absurdity" that brakes the concepts of convention.
You don't think kids see Yahoo and others with all the ad's and headlines, "talking about who's "hot" based on some sewn together rags that expose any body part that creates the tempting and lusting for sexual allure. The Kardasians are not the only players in the game, it any "slim figure female that has protruding breast" and in some cases, she does not need to have protruding breast, all she has to have is a pretty face and long legs. A bikini is nothing but a set of "panties and bra" made of a different material.
How can you change the youth, they change themselves.... when they come to terms with the responsibilities and the consequences that can be generated and created by sex. They find it out also in their "on and off", two day infatuations with each other. They find it out in their jealous and envy games, of one trying to take the attention of someone, away from someone else.
These kids now don't need to go find magazines and hide them away, or the paperback 'sex" novels, they can see that on the same cell phones that 99% of them have.
They don't always see each other and think about "Oh' Gee Whiz" , he or she has a great character and value.. they see it far more simple, in the terms of "He's Hot", or "She's Hot"... and that is about the extend in some cases. and if there is the group popularity, the "hot" is considered as being even "hotter".
Heck, that's the same talk you hear from full grown Adults, in their late 20's 30's and 40's... "Hot" is nothing more than a "code for -I'll get that if I can". and in some cases it become their determination. They can look at the side of someone leg, or any body part and get aroused in a flash. They turn on the TV and no matter what the show, they are getting inferences, that says.... "go for it".. The slogan's that are popular send them the same message.
they know more about how to put on the innocent face for mom and dad, in the flash of a moment. Even long ago, when "they hid clothes" they wanted to wear, but could not leave home in it, and they'd change back before they went back home. They can go to the convenience store or online and order up any so called "sexual enhancement" concoction that sits front row center on the Convenience store counter. And There has never been a time in history where kids could not find a way to get drugs and drink by one means or the other.
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The best thing you can do is, teach your kid in "{plain english}" what the responsibility is related to disease, child birth and child expense and what it is to be responsible for bringing another life in the world, and that is it not a temporary situation, but a life long responsibility. You might want to teach them, how their esteem and their whole life trajectory can be changed by sex, which includes, character, personality, social relation, and social stigmas"... and then people need to let them know, that trying to hide their desire with thinking on form is more secretive than another, where girls think doing their girl friend is somehow more covert, or boys thinking doing their boy friends is somehow more covert, and fact is, their engagement is, influential upon their life and future decisions, more than they know. You can tell them... but if you are any way less than honest, they will discount anything and everything else you say for the next 5-10 yrs. until the hard knocks of life bring them a reality they can't discard.
You want to show them challenge, go show them the people women or man, standing at a bus stop with 2 kids in the middle of the rain of the beaming down sun, trying to manage two kids, bags of groceries and the struggle of trying to deal with that, or the people who've found hard times for their kids and themselves, because the weight of responsibilities has broken them down, and they have no skills, tools or resources, and how it sends some into doing things they don't want to do, trying a feed a baby, they are not equipped to raise. It's not like all families are going to step up and take on the sharing of such responsibility, and in some cases it becomes "a hell in the house cycle', that causes rifts and psychological damages from the contention and condemnation that take place within the family unit itself.
The pursuit of momentary pleasure is like a drug... , it can lead the confused, give false refuge to the fearful... it can consume the weak. It can wreak the same havoc in the lives just the same to man, woman and youth.
You either drop the taboo mentality and "TALK" as a human being with your young youth, or you get the results that come from "Not Talking"......
Locking people up, is not fixing the problem when they engaged from mutual acts to make it happen. You lock people up when someone forces themselves upon another. But no one is thinking of the greater damages being done, by locking up the one who is the engaging partner of the other, because then how do you deal with the psychological damage it does to the girl or boy to know that the other person got locked away.... Except in the cases of forceful abuse.
This is the reality of the world... not a game, not a joke and not make believe, it is reality that exist on a daily basis.
Now... either become responsible enough to talk.... and when you stop blinding yourself, and you realize that your youth is going to do what they are going to do, if that is what they have made up their minds to do. Then you had better talk to them about "protection"... not as if its an "endorsement to go do anything", but as a step in stage in the concept of what is responsibility.
How many have a broad variety of STD"s... some they can't get rid of, others that have found their life and body deteriorating and some finding the result of death from things like Aids, and other such things.
The reality of this world today, with all the 'growth hormones put in food", the image of body development is far sooner than its ever been in history. Then the Music video's even the video games, tell them.. that "being sexy is their power tool, you need to figure out how do you address that.
This is not something that is "skin color" specific... its "human being reality"...
People should probably go "Read and Learn about what is Puberty".... and they might want to learn what is Pre-Prepubescence Influences Within the Mind of Youth.
Society Show entertainment figures in every provocative means that can be conjured up, and in the mid of young people, they see themselves as being people too, with or without fame, and when you see figure like the Disney kids being sexualized early, provocative in how they are taught to stand, how they are taught to taunt and temp and play tease, youth see it, and they know exactly what it is, the same as adults know what it is... and no pretense of "G" rating and "PG" is going to hide it. It does not matter if its any type of music, sexual allure is used as a script sure fire for the creators and promoters of this material. the promotion of any "slim figure female' is pushed as image standards to the point, young people are starving themselves, some tattooing up themselves, piercing themselves, and what ever else they thing will give them that "allure" and ability to attract sexual attentions.
They test out their ability to temp in any way they feel that works, be it submissively assertive, submissive aggressive, bodly and flirty and any combination, because they see it everyday in every format of media that is present today. and biggest of "all" "they talk to each other" and many have developed their own set of "code" words and phrases to convey their messages among each other and to whom ever they have set their sights upon.
How do you deal with it..? "I don't know".... but "Talking about Real World Responsibility Certainly Can't Hurt", and it might just help. But running around, thinking just because its your kid, they are some "innocent being who does not know they have a sex organ", is certainly not the answer... they know every well what is between their legs. You might want to start early talking to them about the responsibility they have unto themselves, and the value benefit it is to protect it, and how to avoid letting urges change the course of their lives.
Last edited by Chance and Change; 08-15-2017 at 07:35 AM..
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