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Will you be afraid to show interest in a girl after all this? I'll give an example. How would Mika have known that Joe was interested? Who ever showed interest was risking their career.
Joe Scarborough and his wife Susan quietly parted ways, 3 years later Mika Brzezinski quietly divorced her husband of 22 years and Joe and Mika are engaged to be married.
If Joe had shown interest but Mika wasn't receptive, could Mika have accused Joe of sexual harassment?
I wouldn't because most people are decent, and all you have to do is actually get to know them and at some point have an honest conversation about feelings - and respect whichever way it goes. It's not that complicated, and not every woman is out to "get" you.
Just because some men are held to account for their boorish behavior doesn't mean we need to go overboard and pretend we'll all be celibate forever.
i might indicate an interest, but i would certainly move even more slowly and cautiously than i do now. and likely bail at the first sign of any disinterest.
This is a very touchy subject. We all know the saying that "No means NO !", and we understand the meaning. That being said, for centuries and centuries, there has always been this game between men and women, where the woman is supposed to say no, but many of us men know that really means she simply isn't going to let us have sex with her without us trying a little harder. This was particularly true years ago, where "Nice girls don't have sex outside of marriage", so the girl was obligated to resist, like a "proper young lady", when, if fact, they wanted the sex as bad as the guy.
It is a confusing subject too. When is simply trying to get lucky with your date crossing the line ? How many of us guys have heard her say " I can't do this", when she ended up doing it and being fully engaged ?
All that being said, I really don't have an answer. All of us, at one time or another, have probably done something that, if put under a magnifying glass, would or could be deemed "pushing the line, or inappropriate". I know, that as a young single guy, years ago, I played the cat and mouse game, and maybe some of those things would be seen as wrong by today's standards. But I am talking here in the context of dating someone, not someone who worked for me, or who I casually knew.
All it is is plain old common sense. That and the understanding that the vast majority of men are not serial killers like Ted Bundy or something, and the vast majority of women are not bee-achs from hell, determined to destroy the reputation of every man she sees.
Guys, if you happen to take a fancy to a woman who works in your office, it would probably be wise to not corner her alone in the broom closet for an unwanted session of groping and heavy breathing. This is especially true for older men who are in a position of power. Coming on to a woman who is thirty years younger than you and - oops - you just happen to be her boss is very poor form.
Women, please don't try to sleep your way to an executive position, complete with corner office. You'll only become known as the office **** which will get you nowhere fast.
It comes down to treating others (men and women both) with courtesy and especially dignity. Personal integrity will get you better promotions and most importantly - respect from your co-workers.
Eventually all these stories about sexual predators and "he said/she said" will die down. Hopefully, everyone will have learned some lessons from all this and begin treating one another with respect and just good old fashioned civility. It's really not that tall an order and everyone will be much happier as a result.
Will you be afraid to show interest in a girl after all this? I'll give an example. How would Mika have known that Joe was interested? Who ever showed interest was risking their career.
Joe Scarborough and his wife Susan quietly parted ways, 3 years later Mika Brzezinski quietly divorced her husband of 22 years and Joe and Mika are engaged to be married.
If Joe had shown interest but Mika wasn't receptive, could Mika have accused Joe of sexual harassment?
It's pretty ill advised to have a relationship with a girl you work with imo. Since I work internationally, in some cultures that isn't such a no no as it is in western culture. If I wasn't married and were single, I would likely only be dating women from cultures that weren't so westernized anti-male.
Location: Born & Raised DC > Carolinas > Seattle > Denver
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ambient
I wouldn't because most people are decent, and all you have to do is actually get to know them and at some point have an honest conversation about feelings - and respect whichever way it goes. It's not that complicated, and not every woman is out to "get" you.
Just because some men are held to account for their boorish behavior doesn't mean we need to go overboard and pretend we'll all be celibate forever.
Boom.
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