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Many couples in the west who can't or don't want to carry their own child are turning to surrogate mothers in India to bear their children.
"A team of maids, cooks and doctors looks after the women, whose pregnancies would be unusual anywhere else but are common here. The young mothers of Anand, a place famous for its milk, are pregnant with the children of infertile couples from around the world."
I saw this on a 20/20 special or something like that a little while ago. Why not? Helps a couple who wants to have a baby, and the pride on the faces of the women who were able to build their family a house with the money they got for being a surrogate was very touching.
And I don't think they really need to worry about women not wanting to have their own babies. The women who don't want to get pregnant to have their babies have already thought of surrogacy-they don't need an "outsourcing" story to plant the seed (no pun intended).
Made me a little jealous when I saw the special...wish I had a maid and cook for me during my current pregnancy
It used to be that mother's who did not want to nurse their babies, handed the babies to a nurse maid. Now wealthy mom's don't even have to carry the babies. They can hire someone else to deal with the pregnancy, the hormonal changes, and the stretch marks.
It used to be that mother's who did not want to nurse their babies, handed the babies to a nurse maid. Now wealthy mom's don't even have to carry the babies. They can hire someone else to deal with the pregnancy, the hormonal changes, and the stretch marks.
Their loss then. I really think those women would be a big minority in the process though. Maybe that's my own naivete though. I just can't imagine wanting a child but not wanting to give birth to that child.
When I saw the special, I was just amazed at how much the amount of money the women in India are paid can change their lives. I was surprised too, by how many had the support of their husbands in doing this. I don't know that much about the Indian culture, but I just assumed this wasn't something their husbands would want them to do, but it didn't seem that way at all.
This isn't just about wealthy women who do not want to carry babies.
Many women cannot carry a healthy pregnancy to term for various reasons and seek out surrogates. In the US, surrogacy price tags for the surrogate alone starts at about 60k. The IVF treatments range from 10k-12k with an additional 2k-4k in meds (for both the intended mother and surrogate). So, it's quite a large amount of money. I know the article quoted some as spending up to 200k. My husband and I spent a little over 70k trying to get pregnant (finally successful!) but we're not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination and sacrificed on many levels. Had we not gotten pregnant on this last try, we were going to start adoption proceedings (but that's another thread).
In the 3 yrs that I've been in the thick of infertility treatments, I have not met a single woman who chose to do surrogacy simply because they did not want to carry a baby. It's a terribly emotional upheaval when a woman so desperately wants to become pregnant or carry a healthy baby to term and can't and must therefore turn over that joy to a surrogate.
I just want to scream when I see things like this. I can't see ONE justification for something like this.
There are hundreds of thousands- maybe millions- or orphaned children in the world. Who knows how many children in our own foster care system need to be adopted. A friend of mine was recently bragging about how much money she had thrown into fertilization treatments for her most recent child. She is no longer my friend- I can not be friends with someone so selfish.
I have so many health problems that I won't be able to healthily carry a child. I would rather someone shoot me in the face than to resort to such a selfish practice. If I get pregnant on my own, I do. But I would much rather adopt.
I just want to scream when I see things like this. I can't see ONE justification for something like this.
There are hundreds of thousands- maybe millions- or orphaned children in the world. Who knows how many children in our own foster care system need to be adopted. A friend of mine was recently bragging about how much money she had thrown into fertilization treatments for her most recent child. She is no longer my friend- I can not be friends with someone so selfish.
I have so many health problems that I won't be able to healthily carry a child. I would rather someone shoot me in the face than to resort to such a selfish practice. If I get pregnant on my own, I do. But I would much rather adopt.
For some of us, it's not easy to adopt either. We've been denied by several agencies because my husband has MS and is in a wheelchair.
Have YOU looked into adopting children in our foster care system? Many of them have physical and emotional problems beyond what most of us can handle. I have several selfless friends who have adopted through the foster care system - they have stayed up for nights on end for MONTHS as their newly adopted children came down from meth & barbituate highs. They are on all types of treatment/therapy to deal with these children's disabilities.
Older children (out of infancy) are difficult to adopt because they many times, have severe emotional problems. When we started working with a social worker at our local foster care system, she gave us a very clear and upfront assessment of what we would face with several of the children available. I applaud anyone with the courage to deal with adopted children with behavioral and emotional problems - that is not an easy road to overcome as a family - adopted or not.
Many children are born with FAS (fetal alcohol syndrom) which has long lasting, debilitating effects.
I would NEVER call spending what we did on IVF as "bragging" - when you've gone from being financially comfortable to living paycheck-to-paycheck and having to sell your home, it's hardly something to brag about.
I'm sorry you found your ex-friend to be selfish but please - don't assume that everyone who does IVF or surrogacy is doing it for selfish reasons. That is such an unfair assumption.
I genuinely hope that your efforts at conceiving are easy and if not, that you are able to seamlessly adopt a child through our foster care system. The alternatives (negative pregnancy tests and endless agency denials) are very painful.
Last edited by Sampaguita; 12-31-2007 at 07:34 AM..
For some of us, it's not easy to adopt either. We've been denied by several agencies because my husband has MS and is in a wheelchair.
Have YOU looked into adopting children in our foster care system? Many of them have physical and emotional problems beyond what most of us can handle. I have several selfless friends who have adopted through the foster care system - they have stayed up for nights on end for MONTHS as their newly adopted children came down from meth & barbituate highs. They are on all types of treatment/therapy to deal with these children's disabilities.
Older children (out of infancy) are difficult to adopt because they many times, have severe emotional problems. When we started working with a social worker at our local foster care system, she gave us a very clear and upfront assessment of what we would face with several of the children available. I applaud anyone with the courage to deal with adopted children with behavioral and emotional problems - that is not an easy road to overcome as a family - adopted or not.
Many children are born with FAS (fetal alcohol syndrom) which has long lasting, debilitating effects.
I would NEVER call spending what we did on IVF as "bragging" - when you've gone from being financially comfortable to living paycheck-to-paycheck and having to sell your home, it's hardly something to brag about.
I'm sorry you found your ex-friend to be selfish but please - don't assume that everyone who does IVF or surrogacy is doing it for selfish reasons. That is such an unfair assumption.
I genuinely hope that your efforts at conceiving are easy and if not, that you are able to seamlessly adopt a child through our foster care system. The alternatives (negative pregnancy tests and endless agency denials) are very painful.
My sister-in-law had her children through IVF and she is one of the most kind hearted, selfless people I know. I've seen through watching her how heartbreaking and frustrating infertility problems can be. Good luck to you and God bless you with your new twin blessings.
Many children are born with FAS (fetal alcohol syndrom) which has long lasting, debilitating effects.
I have a neighbor who adopted a child who later turned out to have FAS. Now he is a 14-year-old boy with the emotional development of a 7-year-old. He has frequent out bursts and she has sent him to a special school in Ohio, where he spends most of the year. She has gotten him the best education, treatment and care possible, but it is a full time commitment.
I have a neighbor who adopted a child who later turned out to have FAS. Now he is a 14-year-old boy with the emotional development of a 7-year-old. He has frequent out bursts and she has sent him to a special school in Ohio, where he spends most of the year. She has gotten him the best education, treatment and care possible, but it is a full time commitment.
I would not want a child with FAS.
Sadly, I would not want to adopt a child with FAS either. I KNOW that I am not emotionally equipped to handle that kind of responsibility. Maybe that is selfish but I think it really takes a special person to make that commitment and I'm just not that person. I know my limitations. It is a terrible shame when pregnant women continue to drink and basically poison the lives of their unborn children.
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