Dwelling on the Past, Memory torture, and Serotonin Levels (anxiety, husband, college)
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I wish to talk about dwelling on the past, Memory torture, and Serotonin levels.
I have had issues with dwelling on the past in the past. I would randomly think about issues I had with people over and over again. The thing is I would think about it for a maybe a good hour or two, and I would feel better about it. My mind would calm down, and I go about my business. But the next day it would happen again. I would repeat this pattern. I always thought it was lack of mental discipline. Eventually I dealt with this by taking joyrides every now and then and let my mind just go free, and think about whatever.
Then a few years later, I decided to take up an pseudo atkins diet. My dwelling got even worse. I started reading up on this online, and found out about serotonin, and how an atkins can affect the levels in your brain, and cause "memory torture". I dropped the atkins diet, and now feel much better.
What I do not understand is why I could not control my mind. I would think about the issue for some time, and would feel better about after a bit. But after feeling better, I would still repeat the process later on. Even after telling myself to stop, my mind seemed to have its own mind, and just kept going.
Also I want add so as to not scare anyone off. The issues I dwell on are just negative social interactions. Nothing all that serious, which is why cant understand why I could not control myself.
Last edited by NJ Brazen_3133; 12-16-2012 at 10:05 AM..
Reason: not clear enough
Negative interactions usually have a lot of unresolved aspects to them. It is natural to dwell on unresolved issues. For years and years I got in the habit during my commute to and from work to dwell on the negative aspects of my first marriage, even for a long time after the divorce. Then about a year into my next marriage I realized one day that I no longer thought about that any more because I had come to a place that divorcing my first husband was the right decision and I was at peace with breaking the covenant of marriage. I don't know about the serotonin part....but perhaps the reason for obsessing about the negative is simply trying to decipher the mystery of what went wrong.
Yes, obsessing over the mystery of what went wrong may be the reason. But I always felt better after thinking about it for a while. Then the next day, I would go through the cycle. But in my mind, I had resolved it already. I always end up reassured that I did the exact right thing at the moment.
It is almost as if another personality is telling, no you have not satisfied honor, and must take further action to avenge what happened.
I will admit, the thoughts are about incidents in which someone tried to pick on me, or insulted me in some way, or was rude to me.
You are just unable to redirect yourself. If you practice that in other venues in your life, you'll be able to apply it. You don't just turn off one set of thoughts but bring in another that puts your current thoughts on the back burner.
You are just unable to redirect yourself. If you practice that in other venues in your life, you'll be able to apply it. You don't just turn off one set of thoughts but bring in another that puts your current thoughts on the back burner.
Can you explain this further, maybe with an example? I am a bit intrigued by what you have written.
I just wanted to add that recently, I have been feeling really, really good. Not that I ever felt that badly, but I guess you could say I liked to keep an edge.
For the past weeks, I have been feeling a renewed sense of well being, and euphoria. I have tried to think about personal negative issues, and the thoughts wont stick at all. I cant even continue the thought process. My mind is either wandering into happier memories now, or I am living more in the moment which is just peaceful, no issues, no worries.
Boy do I wish I had this feeling long ago. The only thing I have changed is that I watch my carbohydrate intake as diligently. Does anyone have an explanation for this?
Thanks for your response. Yes I have wondered if I was an obsessive compulsive. But I always thought that could be cured with a little mental discipline. I have tried just forcing myself to stop thinking, and it never seemed to work. I have thought about seeing a shrink, but as you probably know most people like myself are a bit embarrassed about that. The fact that the Brain operates very similar to a computer is funny, and intriguing at the same time.
That wiki article about the specific type of OCD is fascinating. I am starting to think I should have studied psychology in college. I would have been around many good looking girls too.
Then you mention Bipolar and hyperthyroidism, now I am getting scared.
Also on my last post, I made a typo. I meant to say that I have stopped watching my carbohydrate intake as dilligently.
First thing I thought of was OCD, but usually obsessing over the thoughts does not make me feel better. The thoughts only go away when my brain stops obsessing about it.
Also, what do you mean by negative social interactions? The term is a bit vague. Sometimes after I have a conversation with someone I'll obsess over some of the things I said and if I felt like I said something wrong or if I was awkward, I'll wonder if they noticed/ what they will think of me (irrational BS in other words). For me, these thoughts only linger for a couple minutes so I don't have severe OCD in that regard but it could be a possibility for you depending on what you mean by negative social interactions.
What I am referring to when I say negative social interactions is mostly fighting, arguing, verbal abuse, dealing with harrassment, dealing with a crazed females at work, my own non fulfillment of my potential.
More recently, I have been pondering about a friend who apparently was being a big sissy, and instead of toughing it out, decided he was going to tag along with me. I really did not want to be followed, and preferred to have my freedom in this case. It would have been an excellent experience for me that I feel would have open more doors. But of course he screws everything up. I am still very mad about it.
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