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I voluntarily live in LA, which I never even thought of growing up far away. I'm not a glitz-liking, fame-seeking person, and I had no need to move here. I didn't even entertain going to college out of state.
I grew up with probably less than usual interest in cars and things mechanical, and (see above) I've never wanted much real-world attention. As an adult, I have multiple cars meant to have fun with, the type that some people stare at or dream of, white elephant versions of them, and I have little use for them and am inclined to neglect them. And that's not from being wealthy, which I didn't aim for and hasn't happened. Maybe I have a nose for/compulsion toward what's good and special and repulsion toward most things conventional.
" List a few non-trivial, not-unhappy developments in your life that growing up you never would've expected"
So...
"List a few important happy developments in your life that growing up, you never would've expected."
And really...I can't think of anything. I think, growing up, my expectations for life were fairly mundane and ordinary, and to any outside observers, that's the life I have. It's a happy life and I'm grateful for that...but it's not above my expectations.
This thread immediately generated rude and off-topic comments. I have deleted several posts. Folks, if you don't like a topic, then simply move on to another thread. If the thread goes awry again, it will be shut down.
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Understanding myself at a greater depth. That wasn't all there was! As the years go by I occasionally discover something new about myself that I didn't know was there. Different likes and skills. Different dislikes and weaknesses.
Sometimes we aren't who we think we are at all and changing circumstances can reveal that to ourselves.
I have a recurring dream about a house. People who interpret dreams say that a house is representative of the self. My house is always huge, sometimes six stories tall, with many rooms or even floors, that I have never visited before. In my dream I am thinking about how to decorate each of the individual rooms and what I need. The task seems enormous. All that unfulfilled potential.
And always in my dream there are rooms that I know are dark and dangerous for me, that I shouldn't go into. A reminder of my dark side?
My eclectic, unfinished and sometimes shadowy house. LOL
List a few non-trivial, not-unhappy developments in your life that growing up you never would've expected
Spending 33 years in Tokyo...
When I was 24 years old Reagan was president and an apartment in SF was under $300. My parents wanted me to get the right job, marry the right young lady and follow the standard life track they took. However, that was never me.
I wanted something different. And Tokyo, which was booming during the 80's, was certainly something different. The bright lights, the women, the money, the opportunities. It was all right there. Of course, I screwed it up, but we'll save that for another time.
Understanding myself at a greater depth. That wasn't all there was! As the years go by I occasionally discover something new about myself that I didn't know was there. Different likes and skills. Different dislikes and weaknesses.
Sometimes we aren't who we think we are at all and changing circumstances can reveal that to ourselves.
I have a recurring dream about a house. People who interpret dreams say that a house is representative of the self. My house is always huge, sometimes six stories tall, with many rooms or even floors, that I have never visited before. In my dream I am thinking about how to decorate each of the individual rooms and what I need. The task seems enormous. All that unfulfilled potential.
And always in my dream there are rooms that I know are dark and dangerous for me, that I shouldn't go into. A reminder of my dark side?
My eclectic, unfinished and sometimes shadowy house. LOL
There's a lot of content to analyze in your dream and I would encourage you to do that. It's a classic blueprint of your psyche (the dream of house) and decorating all of the rooms could be very fulfilling - taking a peak into those rooms you are afraid to go into would also be interesting. Very meaty if you want to pursue exploring yourself.
I had a pretty crazy experience that I never thought would happen.
I was on a work trip to Vegas at least twenty years ago while the rodeo was in town. On a whim I looked on eBay and found a single ticket and won the auction. The seller contacted me and invited me to their room to pick up the ticket, but to come before lunch because they had things to take care of.
Turns out it was in a penthouse at Bellagio. There were two bedrooms, one on each side of the huge living space with a bar, big TV, and glass dining room table with eight chairs.
From what I could tell, there was a family in one bedroom and the seller was in the other, but there were other people there. He made everybody a Bloody Mary while we chatted. Turns out they were Canadians from Calgary that made the trip every year. After talking with them, I took my leave, but they all invited me to come back and catch the bus with them to the Thomas & Mack Center.
So I did. The room was full of people all dressed up in flashy cowboy gear, dripping in gold nuggets and Rolex watches. As some of us sat at the table discussing the cowboys and cowgirls we thought would take the round tonight, a young beautiful girl came in the room wearing a white hat with a crown on it. It was Miss Rodeo Canada. I think her name was Shereen Serna, but I can't find her name anywhere now.
Well, after a bit it was time to go, and there was a flurry of activity at that 2nd bedroom, and someone came out and asked me if I was going to the rodeo alone, and I said I was. So they asked if I would mind being Shereen's chaperone for the night, as her mother had taken ill suddenly. I said sure! So we all boarded the bus, which turned out to be a huge decked-out Prevost with a living area and bedrooms, which I got to tour, as they could see how wide-eyed and fascinated I was, and then I sat with Shereen and her entourage for the ride, and then the escort into the back gate.
We sat in a big VIP suite with a bar and charcuterie trays and snacks everywhere, while Shereen went to a dressing room and put on her special decorated chaps and collected her flag, and then she was escorted downstairs to her horse, as she rode in the parade with the other Rodeo Queens. Then she came back and sat next to me and we had a great time watching. She gave me an autographed picture that I kept for a long time, but can't find it at the moment. She was blonde and reminded me of what Jon-Benet Ramsey might look like at that age.
We rode back to the hotel and they invited me back up to the suite, and of course I went. I was staying at Harrah's, and after a few drinks I walked back to my hotel in total shock that any of that had happened.
Probably my most memorable experience, next to my wedding.
I did not expect to have kids. I didn't plan to and I didn't want to. But the experiences of being pregnant, loving and raising them as babies and toddlers and watching them develop interests and personalities... Many of the most deeply rooted happy memories of my lifetime are connected to my kids. It is complicated, I've said in other threads that sometimes I nearly regret having had them, because that happiness seems like a selfish thing now, and their struggles and suffering breaks my heart these days. But certainly the greatest non-trivial, unlooked-for happiness of my life was there in those years and experiences.
Other things I had no way to expect or predict that have brought happiness to my life... Mostly connected to people that I had the privilege to know at times. For about seven years, I got to be friends with a magnificent lunatic front man for an internationally known punk/metal band, and that was a big deal for me then, because he was one of the most interesting people I've ever encountered. I recently watched a video sent to me by an old friend, where the guy was performing with a side project band in a small bar, and he took off his clothes and smashed up the place with a golf club. Freakin lunatic. I miss him.
I've had some cool adventures, I've lived in some beautiful places. I've made a few pieces of art that I'm not ashamed of. I've become very successful in a field that I never would have expected when I was growing up. My household net worth has met a milestone that would have made my jaw drop when I was young, but it doesn't mean nearly as much now. Feel like I've conquered a lot of challenges and given myself cause to be a great deal more confident than I was as a kid. I'm pretty happy with life in general, and given how restless and angsty I was as a teen, that's almost a surprise in and of itself.
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