I cause my own heartbreak because of my past bad experience!! (boyfriend, dating)

[Imdatgirl]

I've dated quite a few guys in the past. My first boyfriend treated me so well but I broke his heart. I don't cheat and I didnt cheat on him. It was a clean breakup. He wanted to settle down but I wasn't ready so we broke up. After him, everything was a mess. All the guys I've dated ended up breaking my heart. The good ones, I ended up ruining it which lead to my heartbreak. Sometimes I feel like my heart can't tolerate anymore pain but every time a relationship ends I still feel that intense pain that I thought I wouldn't feel again. Because of my bad experiences with guys I became really cautious on who I date. I tried to weed out the players from the good guys but the ones I thought were good was not good at all. They all are players but just hiding it so well. The ones who was genuinely good, I push them away thinking they were like the bad ones who would break my heart.

Sometimes I give up on dating. Not to brag but I'm an attractive lady. I stay in shape. I don't have problems meeting guys. Because of my past bad experiences, I tend to overanalyze things and compare the present to the past. I have a tendency to become paranoid and suspicious. I become anxious when I start seeing someone. I'm always scared that he would end up hurting me like the other ones. I met a really cool guy last month. He treated me so well. Even though I never saw any signs that he would be potentially breaking my heart, I got so scared that he would be and would end up leaving me. I pushed to much and I ended up pushing him away. I don't know why I can't just chill and enjoy the experience of dating.

I guess I just needed some feedback. I'm hurting from loosing this guy. He seemed perfect. He was once mine but I messed up again and now he's gone .

[Billy_J]

If all else fails, tell the next guy it will just be a temporary dating situation and give a certain ending date like 6 months! Then have fun and enjoy it while it lasts. And there will be no need to worry because you know it will have an ending date.

I suppose if you really like it, you could then "renew" your "contract" with the guy for an additional 6 months?

Counseling can also help. Look in the yellow pages under counseling. Many county health departments offer low cost counseling as well if you don't have insurance.

[Imdatgirl]

Originally Posted by Billy_J

If all else fails, tell the next guy it will just be a temporary dating situation and give a certain ending date like 6 months! Then have fun and enjoy it while it lasts. And there will be no need to worry because you know it will have an ending date.

I suppose if you really like it, you could then "renew" your "contract" with the guy for an additional 6 months?

Counseling can also help. Look in the yellow pages under counseling. Many county health departments offer low cost counseling as well if you don't have insurance.

That sounds like a good idea. I've never tried that but maybe It would work in my case. Thank you.

Also, I forgot to add that my dad passed away a little over a year ago a month later my ex-bf then and I broke up. It was a hard break-up, unexpected one. I had to grieve for two losses at the same time.