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Are all men (for the sake of this thread- I'm just addressing men) who physically abuse women sociopaths? Sociopaths are incqble of loving, so how do you explain an abuser who clearly loves his bio family, but feels its permissable to hit women?
Do they ever really feel sorry for their actions? A counselor I know who administers DV offender classes said that its rare she is able to break through to these men & that most of them BS their way thru the classes.
No, I'm sure there a lot of wannabe sociopaths, who aren't really afflicted with the pathology, but admire the lifestyle of the sociopath and seek to emulate him. Or are just basically selfish and seek a domestic situation in which they can exercise this ego. I won't go into a lot of clinical detail, but just toss out that hypothesis for discussion.
There's generally 2 sets of fingerprints on any "murder" weapon, no angels running around this planet with wings, at least I haven't seen any! And, increasingly, you hear of men being physically abused by women!
There may be other factors at work here, like projection! And extreme forms of passive-aggressive behavior, which, subconsciously can bring out the anger/violence in others.
I keep a healthy distance from passive-aggressive types, as too many bring my blood to a boil!
Complicating the issue, how many women battered by husbands, go from one to another!!! Now where's the explanation for that!!!
i doubt it. all it takes to be a domestic abuser is to be angry enough, resent your partner enough, and have little respect for the health and well being of others in the immediate sense. lack of acknowledgement for necessary societal boundaries turns people nasty.
No, I'm sure there a lot of wannabe sociopaths, who aren't really afflicted with the pathology, but admire the lifestyle of the sociopath and seek to emulate him. Or are just basically selfish and seek a domestic situation in which they can exercise this ego. I won't go into a lot of clinical detail, but just toss out that hypothesis for discussion.
You're right! I've met several people who were sociopath wanna-bes. They thought it sounded "cool" and "dangerous." Or they were very defended and wished they had no vulnerabilities and saw the sociopath as something to aspire to.
But most true sociopaths don't have really deep emotions or emotional needs. So the people with extreme anger problems, and the extreme interpersonal/emotional needs that domestic abusers have, aren't likely to be sociopaths, who tend to be calm and cool and calculating.
No, I'm sure there a lot of wannabe sociopaths, who aren't really afflicted with the pathology, but admire the lifestyle of the sociopath and seek to emulate him. Or are just basically selfish and seek a domestic situation in which they can exercise this ego. I won't go into a lot of clinical detail, but just toss out that hypothesis for discussion.
This has me thinking. I've never been a victim in any prior relationship, I don't fit the meek victim profile, I'm desperate to understand from a psychological aspect, how I got involved with someone so devious. I have to thoroughly understand the mindset of a batterer in order to be aware of any future red flags. Your statement about some batterers possibly emulating the behavior of a true sociopath is interesting. Either way, after what I've been through, I don't think these men can be rehabilitated. The sense of superiority and entitlement is profound. I am still baffled how someone was routinely able to convince me that I was solely responsible for their actions. I'm the poster child for people taking responsiblity for their choices/actions. I appreciate your comment.
Are all men (for the sake of this thread- I'm just addressing men) who physically abuse women sociopaths? Sociopaths are incqble of loving, so how do you explain an abuser who clearly loves his bio family, but feels its permissable to hit women?
Do they ever really feel sorry for their actions? A counselor I know who administers DV offender classes said that its rare she is able to break through to these men & that most of them BS their way thru the classes.
Not at all..most are probably no where near being a "sociopath"..Men who physically abuse their mates have been damaged themselves. Maybe they've grown up with it,(dad beat mom) and think it's the norm. Maybe they were abused themselves by a women when they were young, and grew up with an unconcious hatred towards them...Maybe their was physical violence in the home all through their young lives....Many men who abuse their mates profess to (and probably really DO)love them dearly.
There are many factors that prevent partners from leaving their relationship. There's a really great article here about how a partner remains in a relationship not that they 'enjoy' the emotional and physical degradation, but because of the many, many difficulties they face in leaving. That alone enables the abused to remain comfortable in their position within an abusive relationship.
When I was younger in Glasgow many women were beaten by their drunken husbands.. it was a way of life for some... kids suffered too in overcrowded houses where they would see their mother being beaten... back then women didnt have the police behind them as it was seen as a domestic situation... and the husband wasnt arrested, but sometimes asked to leave the house till he calmed down...... the women with children had nowhere to go... so had to endure this lifestyle. if you can call it a life.... I saw one of my aunts suffer from a drunk husband who battered her every weekend.. how she never killed him in his sleep is beyond me...women didnt get the help they can get now with housing etc..and up until the late fifties I read that the women lost their children to the father. so that would have been enough for any woman to stay and face the music.. I often wonder how anyone can be as evil to make the whole family sad and miserable.. maybe it comes down to being angry at someone else but the kicking dog is there and wont fight back....
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