Would you say my sister's tenant a sociopath? (sociopaths, narcissistic, fixate)

[davesoprano]

My sister has a townhouse. Myself and 2 other tenants (a male and female) pay rent there. The female tenant rents one of the rooms while the male tenant rents the basement.

The female tenant is loud, she always walks into the house noisily as if she wants everyone in the house to acknowledge her presence. She always slams doors shut behind her. She goes to the living room sometimes and turns the volume to the TV so loud while laughing loudly with that ridiculous laugh of hers. Also, when she comes home, a lot of doors are left open like she's always in a terrible hurry that she can't close the door. And then when she does close the door, she'll slam it. She always leaves her clothes in the dryer in the basement for days, weeks even.

*
Here's a list of other things she's done:

1. According to my sister, around the time the female tenant started renting the room from her, my sister told her that the thermostat should be set at certain temperatures (depending on the weather) in order to reduce costs. The girl argued with my sister over that. Like how do you even try to argue with someone over something like that.

2. One day*the water heater wasn't working anymore because the water was constantly running cold. Sometimes my sister is away in New York at medical school so I try to help out with bills and other responsibilities around her house. So when the water heater stopped working, even after informing the female tenant that I had just called someone to fix it, she got an attitude like "oh great, so we gotta use cold water one more day before it gets fixed".

3. The male tenant came home one evening and saw a package for him on our doorstep and at the same time discovered that the female tenant had actually been around AFTER the package was dropped on our doorstep, meaning she saw the package but just left it out there and kept on going about her business. So the male tenant asked her why she left his package at the door and she told him everyone is responsible for their own property, and then she was trying to deviate from the point, when all she had to do was just bring the package inside the house and it's not like the male tenant wanted her to take the package all the way to his room. It's common nature right, anytime you see a package at the doorstep of the house you reside in, you take the package into the house right, even if it's not yours. But the female tenant didn't do that just because the package wasn't hers.

4. The male tenant rents our basement so one day, he had his girlfriend over and accidentally locked the door to the basement. The female tenant came banging on the basement door so loudly and when the male tenant asked why she was banging on the door so chaotically, she said she was rushing to pick up one of her clothes she had left in the laundry room because her mom, her older sister and her newborn baby were waiting for her outside in her car and they were all planning to be somewhere at a particular time.

5. One Sunday morning last month, she came into the basement (without knocking) to collect another one of her clothes from the dryer (instead of just taking all her clothes out of the dryer once and for all). As she was doing this, she slammed the door of the laundry room behind her. Then when she left the basement, she left the door to the basement wide open. The male tenant got so mad he actually confronted her while she was rushing to do God knows what. The female tenant said its not her fault that my sister has the laundry room in the basement where he stays. And we were like "ok so is my sister supposed to remodel the house or something". But ever since the male tenant warned her, she's been knocking on the basement door like a normal human being.*

6. The female tenant moved out of the house around the first week of this month but she still comes to our house from time to time to collect mail. Three days ago, when I came back from work, I found her car parked in our parking space. We have 2 parking spaces, my sister's car is parked in the main parking space because she's in New York most of the time so we all decided that she gets to keep her own parking space (since she's the owner of the house) and the other parking space will be available for me and the other tenants, so it's a matter of who gets home to that parking space first. So anyway, when I found our female tenants car parked there, I thought to myself like "ok, she probably came to collect mail, so she'll leave pretty soon after she collects that". Only to find out that she had parked her car there and left with her fiancé in his own car. She left the car parked there till Sunday morning yesterday, even though she doesn't live in our house anymore and because of that, neither myself nor the male tenant were able to park in our own parking space for the entire weekend. It's like the female tenant did that deliberately to provoke a fight or something. Before Sunday morning yesterday, I contemplated on calling a tow person to take her car out of that parking space.

So what do you people think about this nonsensical behavior? You think it's enough to call this tenant sociopathic?

[fruitlassie]

No. She sounds rather rude and lacking in social graces but that's a far cry from being a sociopath.

[MikeNigh]

What is nonsensical is probably the amount of rent she is paying.

[brokensky]

I do not mean this in a hurtful way, but you might consider that your reactions to all these very small and petty things is much more over-the-top than the tenant's behavior.

There is nothing particularly sociopathic about anything the woman has or hasn't done. In fact, her behavior sounds pretty normal as do her reactions.

What is surprising is that you have even taken note of such insignificant, mundane, unremarkable things. Perhaps the question you should be asking is . . . why am I so fixated on this person and why do such totally insignificant things bug me so much?

[Proverbs 16:24-25]

I don't think u can label her a sociopath just based off that, sociopaths wouldn't change their behavior at all like with the knocking thing...If I had to guess, it sounds like this girl was spoiled and pampered growing up. I don't think she's used to any/much responsibility, and probably used to having others do things for her. I don't think she does these things on purpose, I just think she has a lot of growing up to do. Hopefully she will be completely out of your life soon!!

[Ruth4Truth]

No. Immature and perhaps narcissistic, but not sociopathic. She didn't do anything to backstab anyone or manipulate other tenants against the homeowner or anything like that. That might have been sociopathic.

However, I'd strongly suggest that the next time (if there is a next time) she parks in one of your parking spaces, you call a tow truck. If it's in your space and the owner isn't around, it's technically an abandoned vehicle, and needs to be towed. This girl needs to learn that her actions have consequences, and she needs to accept the consequences of her errors.

How great that she moved out on her own, and didn't have to be kicked out!

[Teckeeee]

Originally Posted by fruitlassie

No. She sounds rather rude and lacking in social graces but that's a far cry from being a sociopath.

Agreed.

[Teckeeee]

I would have towed her car in the blink of an eye. I have heard of people letting the air out of all the offender's tires for crap like this in an apartment complex.

[Billy_J]

Sounds "self-centered" to me, not a sociopath.

And because many young people are self-centered these days, that could be considered normal! (Normal meaning the way most people are.)

[JrzDefector]

Dude, you obviously haven't been around sociopaths much. That stuff is all small potatoes stuff that it wouldn't occur to me to even get THAT upset about.