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Agreed that this sounds like ADHD. You should get screened. Most people think of the hyperactive, rambunctious kid when they think of ADHD, but there's also something called inattentive ADHD. You may be helped by medication, at least for days when it's important that you pay attention.
Every moment of your life is not guaranteed to provide you with entertainment. The behavior you describe sounds self-absorbed and disrespectful to others. You may think you're getting by with being selfish by making a joke out of it, but it is likely that others notice and recognize it for what it is.
THis is called arrogance. Not understanding what others are going through and judging.
For example, I remember talking with my aunt and she asked me a question. We were sitting at a small table when she asked the question. When I answered her, I looked her straight in the eye, made sure that I was speaking clearly and she nodded along. Also, I made sure to keep my answer short and straight to the point. A little while later, her husband came along and asked me the exact same question. As I was answering him, my aunt looked at me and said "Really?" In other words, she didn't pay attention to a word I said. I just ignored her at that point. Had I not ignored her, I would have been tempted to tell her that I just gave her the exact same answer, and wasn't she paying attention?
For those of us on the receiving end of such behavior, let me tell you how it feels. I was a painfully shy kid who spoke softly. So I was always being told that I needed to speak up. When my grandmother was losing her hearing, she kept telling me that I mumbled (when I didn't). So, I've worked hard on making sure that I speak up and speak clearly. Thus, when I come across people who aren't paying attention, it is very frustrating and has me doubting myself---was I speaking too softly? Did I mumble?
With my mother, aunt and uncle I realized that it wasn't me as I saw this happen to others who had conversations with them.
OP---I'm glad that you recognize that you have a problem with paying attention. Truly, I thank you for this! I agree that you should look into finding out if you have adult ADD. If you do, there are steps you can take to alleviate it.
IDK if I would say that is necessarily an indicator of ADD...and I don't think it is rude.
I think it is great that you can dig deep into a memory and really fully realize it in your mind to explore it. Lots of people don't have this depth of thought.
I am an introvert, i spend a lot of time alone and in my own head. Sometimes when I'm around others I get absorbed in what I am doing or thinking about and don't really hear them. My kids know to make sure they have my attention when they need to talk to me. And I just outright tell people to do this when we might be in a situation where that could occur. And I do apologize when a conversation has started around me that I should have been engaged in and just missed it because I was slow to disconnect from what I was doing.
I don't do it at work when I am at my customer service desk. Then I am mentally available all the time. It happens more at home when I'm working on something or reading.
To me, it seems every bit as rude to interrupt someone while they are doing something else or even just lost in their head and expect them to quickly switch gears to attend to their needs.
If you are IN a conversation, and zone out or tune out, that would be considered ADD ish and/or rude.
I think sometimes being able to remove oneself from boring situations by going inside one's head is learned behavior. When I was a kid my family attended a church that had a long, boring sermon by a droning, monotone minister. We were expected to sit quietly and I suppose we were supposed to listen to him, lol. I found that I could make the time of the sermon pass by if I stared at the minister's head without blinking for a long time. Everything surrounding him would sort of disappear and his talking head would just be floating all by itself in a black cloud. I found this very entertaining as a kid.
As a child I loved to read and would get so into a novel or something that I was reading that I would become hyperfocused. One time my older siblings were talking to me when I was reading and I literally did not hear a word they were saying. They thought it was funny and planned a joke on me, out loud while I was lying next to them reading. They decided to hold a cigarette lighter to my toe to see if I would notice! Mom just about killed them for that, but I was completely oblivious until I felt the pain of the hotfoot and yelled. I'm not ADD and never have been, just able to focus to the extent that I can tune all else out.
Typical rationalization and excuse-making of the self-absorbed. They believe they are the center of the universe and no one else matters.
You are right. They believe they are the center, but what if its unintentional and beyond their control??
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