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Old 02-12-2017, 09:59 PM
 
1,752 posts, read 3,755,512 times
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I don't know why I get upset at compliments of a "job well done" at work. I suppose because I find it ridiculously easy, in my mind I see a compliment as almost a put-down. I've been with this department for about two years, so I could understand if I was a brand new newhire, but I've been long enough. Maybe to those that have been here 10+ years, I'm still seen as a new hire, and furthermore, the older folks around here that did not grow up with computers may still find the work challenging enough.


A few examples:
I was asked, a few days in advance, to go into a certain setting in our program and change a settling from "Y" to "N". Its basically a line of command to bring up the settlings, tab over, flip the switch from Y to N and then press "enter".


My manager came in hours after I completed this and said "Nice work on the switch!"


We have a daily e-mail that we send out, which is a copy and paste of a word file we create daily, we copy and paste the subject line, and then have a distribution list that we need to bring up and e-mail out. I was asked if I felt comfortable e-mailing it since I had someone call in that would normally send it, and I had to stay late to cover. Again, its like "uh sure, I've sent an e-mail before"..


When the manager came in (different one from above) I was praised on the fact that I continued to do my job two hours longer than normal to cover the sick person, and send an e-mail.


I sometimes think I am a 4 year old little boy, wearing a cap with propeller and a big lollipop "gee wiz boss, I thank you for your praise, it was a very hard task and I was nervous!"


The first boss isn't here any more, but I sort of answered with sarcasm "Yeah, it was sort of crazy, but I got it done!" with a smirk.


On an unrelated note, the first boss is no longer here, and I applied to his position, and they went with someone with more experience. I was talking to someone and they said "well maybe they wanted someone with a degree..." I gave him a very cold look and barked "I have a degree!"
He just looked at me and said "oh..". Why would you assume someone doesn't have a degree? Or at least ask me "do you have a degree?" If the answer was "no" then said the above or if the answer is "yes" then maybe think of another reason why maybe I wasn't selected? Just irks me, and I don't know why.


I just need to shrug it off and let it roll of my shoulders, or simply say "thanks" and move on when I receive praise for completing silly tasks a monkey could do, but I tend to respond with sarcasm, and I know sooner or later it'll bite me.





Last edited by leadingedge04; 02-12-2017 at 11:04 PM..
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Old 02-12-2017, 10:49 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,813 posts, read 32,523,229 times
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Well, many people would love to have a boss tell them they're doing a good job and thank them for working overtime.

But, it sounds like you're just not happy there. They passed you over for a management job, and that is awkward for you and your co-workers (if they know) and your new boss. And, if they passed you over once, unless you are in a large company or university type system, they probably won't give you another management job.

So, before you burn this bridge, you might want to start looking for another job. It just seems like that's the only way to advance nowadays - unless you're in a huge company, as I mentioned, where you can change departments and have a chance to advance with a completely different set of managers.
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Old 02-12-2017, 10:56 PM
 
Location: SoCal
14,530 posts, read 20,134,269 times
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Wow. Just wow! You have posed a very interesting question, described a very interesting problem. I'm perplexed; I don't know what to say. It appears you are in a field related to the one I retired from but I never faced that problem.

You know about the Peter Principle, right?

Quote:
The Peter principle is a concept in management theory formulated by Laurence J. Peter and published in 1969. It states that the selection of a candidate for a position is based on the candidate's performance in their current role, rather than on abilities relevant to the intended role. Thus, employees only stop being promoted once they can no longer perform effectively, and "managers rise to the level of their incompetence."
It appears to me that your managers have risen to their level of incompetence, which says a lot about their abilities considering how you describe your own job, and maybe your managers know nothing about management except that handing out praise improves productivity.

My best guess is that your managers are being stroked by yet higher up managers, are probably insecure in their jobs knowing they are really doing nothing, and maybe they feel the same way you feel except they are getting paid more, and getting paid more merely increases their anxiety about job security since they know their jobs too are meaningless. Ya ever think of that? Maybe your managers feel the same way you do!
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Old 02-12-2017, 10:57 PM
 
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Snow-Thank you. I am surprised by your reply, as that wasn't what I was going for at all. Yes, I am at a HUGE company, and plan to stay here until retirement (another 30 years). I am actively looking at other job openings. No one knows that I was passed up for the position here in my department, and my new boss doesn't even know me (yet). I was speaking to one of the IT people in a different department. I know in that specific case, he's older, and I am sure doesn't have a degree, so perhaps he assumes that a very few have degrees around here?


I guess the compliments make me feel dumb, and I am sure I am taking it the wrong way! I feel by complimenting me on these easy tasks, it makes me look weak like "I thought it would be a challenge for you, but you did it! Yay!". If I am putting out fires on complex situations, then sure, compliment me, but on routine, mundane tasks, nah.
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Old 02-12-2017, 11:01 PM
 
1,752 posts, read 3,755,512 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovehound View Post
Wow. Just wow! You have posed a very interesting question, described a very interesting problem. I'm perplexed; I don't know what to say. It appears you are in a field related to the one I retired from but I never faced that problem.

You know about the Peter Principle, right?

It appears to me that your managers have risen to their level of incompetence, which says a lot about their abilities considering how you describe your own job, and maybe your managers know nothing about management except that handing out praise improves productivity.

My best guess is that your managers are being stroked by yet higher up managers, are probably insecure in their jobs knowing they are really doing nothing, and maybe they feel the same way you feel except they are getting paid more, and getting paid more merely increases their anxiety about job security since they know their jobs too are meaningless. Ya ever think of that? Maybe your managers feel the same way you do!
It could be. The other thought is, these managers are as old as my parents, and have been with the company as long as I have been alive. They were obviously here before e-mail, and I am sure the computers weren't as easy as they are now. Maybe I'm just a new kid to them, and they still expect me to be unsteady on my feet.
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Old 02-12-2017, 11:02 PM
 
Location: SoCal
14,530 posts, read 20,134,269 times
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My career was in engineering, involving a lot of software design. My best buddies were always the IT guys. Today, just as a hobby, I'm the server op on a Debian server running nginx. For fun!
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Old 02-12-2017, 11:24 PM
 
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Now that I think about it, generally speaking maybe I am right, maybe I have a bad combination of being young, and not being here as long as them. I think we all have that family member that we've watched grow up. They may be in their early 20's but you still picture them as the innocent 8 year old? Maybe that's me here at work. Always "the new kid". I am the youngest by 8 years, then it jumps to 10+ age gaps and up. These people could be my parents. I know about a month into this job, someone was deleting e-mails before they were worked. We have a shared inbox, and the e-mail would come in, show unread and then would disappear. Two coworkers were talking amongst themselves, acting as if I must be deleting these e-mails. One of them turns to me "hey leadingedge04...you, uh, you, you're not deleting these e-mails, are ya?" "No!" I said. My opinion and knowledge is dismissed because I am new. I have been right, and have proved myself in "correcting" a few of my senior level coworkers, but they (more than one) tend to twist it around to make them shine and act like I didn't understand the question "well...that is correct but...." No, simply it IS correct.


FOUR months into the job, one of my coworkers got the bright idea to tell me I could do HIS work and MINE and he then would be free to answer any questions I may have. I just looked at him and laughed. I said "I've been here four months, I know how to do my job, if I have any questions, I'll ask!" No questions were asked.


I am so confused. I want credit where credit is due for "correcting" people or being right, but no credit for completing simple tasks. What's up with that?
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Old 02-13-2017, 12:01 AM
 
Location: When you take flak it means you are on target
7,646 posts, read 9,956,572 times
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Come work for me. I need someone competent, who can send an email without screwing it up. Can you post on social media too?

I will under pay you, spend your bonus money on a trip to Aspen for MY family, demand regular unpaid overtime, verbally abuse you, never compliment and sexually harrass you if you mess up a project. You should be really happy here.
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Old 02-13-2017, 12:03 AM
 
1,752 posts, read 3,755,512 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jamies View Post
Come work for me. I need someone competent, who can send an email without screwing it up. Can you post on social media too?

I will under pay you, spend your bonus money on a trip to Aspen for MY family, demand regular unpaid overtime, verbally abuse you, never compliment and sexually harrass you if you mess up a project. You should be really happy here.
Thanks! When can I start?
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Old 02-13-2017, 06:08 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 59,975,596 times
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In the early '90s, some psychologists (namely Kohn) asserted that too much praise (especially for easy tasks) can undermine intrinsic motivation and have the opposite of its intended effect.

He says that it's because praise is a reminder that you are being evaluted, which obviously you resent because it is apparent that you don't respect the abilities of these people who are praising you:

"...cognitive evaluation theory suggests that praise may call attention
to the controlling behavior of adults
, and it dampens intrinsic
motivation to the extent that it leads children to shift from an
internal to an external perceived locus of causality (Deci & Ryan,
1985). Thus, praise may have negative motivational consequences
because it makes salient that one is being evaluated."
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