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I don't buy into the idea that so many people have hidden problems and because some people have hidden problems, therefore no one should really feel a longing for what they themselves are lacking in life.
Plenty of people have a great life - and they have just about everything that makes for a great and satisfying life, by their own definition.
Trying to convince oneself that many others do not have a really great life is not realistic nor true.
Of course, I wonder about the lives of other people, and sometimes I wish I knew where we stood, as compared to them, on the scale of happiness, financial ease, and lots of other really personal issues. But, it's not a consumption with me, I'm too busy focusing and feeling really good about myself.
I often look and compare my lifestyle and decisions with others. But, for the purpose of enhancing my earthly existence. As a retiree, I am aware that my time left in this life has limits and I often reflect on the best ways to use my remaining time, money and energy. I look for a balance between intellectual, social, recreational and emotional enrichment. And when I learn how others in my same position are using their resouces (time, money) — traveling, socializing, volunteering, learning and studying, and spending time with those they love — it gives me ideas for myself.
I don't buy into the idea that so many people have hidden problems and because some people have hidden problems, therefore no one should really feel a longing for what they themselves are lacking in life.
Plenty of people have a great life - and they have just about everything that makes for a great and satisfying life, by their own definition.
Trying to convince oneself that many others do not have a really great life is not realistic nor true.
It's a defense mechanism.
Like the people who are convinced everything on Facebook is fake.
Naw. Some people really are all together, having a great time, successful, great marriages, great kids...and I bet these people don't focus on the small pieces of negative nonsense they encounter.
Like the people who are convinced everything on Facebook is fake.
Naw. Some people really are all together, having a great time, successful, great marriages, great kids...and I bet these people don't focus on the small pieces of negative nonsense they encounter.
It is not about finding flaws in others or thinking everyone has huge hidden issues, its about "would I trade my life for their life". Yes they might have everything perfect with few minor negative issues in life, would I want to take on those minor negative issues or would I rather have my own life and my own major negative issues.
I went thru this envy phase last year. I experienced this phase several times in life where everyone seem to have a plan in place except met. It usually has something to do with the stage in life I am in. The one from last year was about my lack of ideal living space after visiting a friends beautiful house, I couldn't stop thinking about how everyone else had it better than me. After a day of obsession, I finally set down & challenged myself to really evaluate my friends life and see how good it is. I listed everyone and wrote all the good things I see in their life, then I wrote the challenges they face or the part of life I don't agree with. Maybe they are happy with it but I don't want that in my life. Example, one friend has very uptight husband, she is uptight too so its perfect for them but that won't fit me. I much rather have my crappy house but super relaxed lifestyle. In the end I couldn't find anyone that I admire 100% and would trade place with if a genie offered me
Other people's lives are none of my business. I can say that driving down St. Charles Ave in New Orleans, or past the mansions lining the beach in Pass Christian, some lives may "appear" better because they have nice "window dressing". Then again, some may look at my house and think the same. I don't envy, because "all that glitters", and all that .......
It's often said that if you could trade problems with someone, you would take your own problems back. The grass isn't going to be greener on the other side if we spend adequate time watering our own.
Absolutely. I always wonder what my life would be like if I wasn’t born ugly, or to a single parent, or bullied, or abused, or if I was born to a wealthy family. I know for a fact that if I had any of those things not happen then I’d be a happier person today. People who happened to be born to the right parents, or with the right looks, or to parents with wealth are EXTREMELY lucky. .
I know people who always had everything go their way in life. Then one day, something went wrong and they crumbled. They couldn't deal with it the way the rest of us ordinary folks do.
I don't buy into the idea that so many people have hidden problems and because some people have hidden problems, therefore no one should really feel a longing for what they themselves are lacking in life.
Plenty of people have a great life - and they have just about everything that makes for a great and satisfying life, by their own definition.
Trying to convince oneself that many others do not have a really great life is not realistic nor true.
Totally true. There are those who truly DO have a great life by all definitions. They are born into the right family with the right resources, genetics,love and encouragement. And that great life is perpetuated into the next generation as positive outcomes tend to produce positive outcomes. They usually don't realize this. Some truly think they were "born on third base but think they hit a triple". I have learned not to envy as life is not fair, but it is a marvel at how this works out for some.
Totally true. There are those who truly DO have a great life by all definitions. They are born into the right family with the right resources, genetics,love and encouragement. And that great life is perpetuated into the next generation as positive outcomes tend to produce positive outcomes. They usually don't realize this. Some truly think they were "born on third base but think they hit a triple". I have learned not to envy as life is not fair, but it is a marvel at how this works out for some.
Not picking on your post ... but you got me thinking.
The Kennedy's. Camelot. The Compound at Barnstable, MA.
JFK once said he didn't realize there was a Great Depression, until he read about it at Harvard ... because it didn't affect their family.
Out of touch.
Tragedy after tragedy has befallen them for at least the last 80 years. Tragic death, mental illness, drug addiction, alcoholism, family dysfunction.
Money can't buy peace, safety, love, joy.
But it can buy window dressing (as I stated sbove) ... and that's all we see sometimes.
SouthernProper, your idea that most people have serious problems or hidden problems in their life is just not valid. And your belief that many or most people live a life of a phony facade or an untrue facade is not valid either.
A large number of people have a great life with many positive attributes.
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