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I saw on another forum a poster asking why he should continue living since he's parents are kicking him out, he's completely broke, has a low self esteem, and literally no one to turn to. He's gone for therapy but they turned him down.
Another guy answered that he was like him kicked out of the house and homeless but now had a job and he deciced not to kill himself was "selfish" (he had been disowned and left by everyone) but rather he enjoyed the challenge of life. He said he had many opportunities to off himself when he was given a try of heroin and valium in a suicide pact with some other workmates in a minimum wage job but decided not to. He lives not for anyone else, not for the thrill of drugs, but to learn and grow. He's planning on advancing his career and moving abroad. He doesn't even masturbate or have an interest in sex/relationships.
Realistically, I'm wondering how many people are like this. It seems the determination and perseverance is driven not by any guilt from society but an innate desire to live.
Realistically, I'm wondering how many people are like this. It seems the determination and perseverance is driven not by any guilt from society but an innate desire to live.
I was lucky in that any attempts to guilt me to be another person was taken as a challenge to do better. I eventually stopped that competition with my family because it stemmed from insecurity. However, I know that treatment of being thrown to the dogs does not always produce determination and perseverance in another person. This is because insecurity can result in a variety of behaviors.
I saw on another forum a poster asking why he should continue living since he's parents are kicking him out, he's completely broke, has a low self esteem, and literally no one to turn to. He's gone for therapy but they turned him down.
Another guy answered that he was like him kicked out of the house and homeless but now had a job and he deciced not to kill himself was "selfish" (he had been disowned and left by everyone) but rather he enjoyed the challenge of life. He said he had many opportunities to off himself when he was given a try of heroin and valium in a suicide pact with some other workmates in a minimum wage job but decided not to. He lives not for anyone else, not for the thrill of drugs, but to learn and grow. He's planning on advancing his career and moving abroad. He doesn't even masturbate or have an interest in sex/relationships.
Realistically, I'm wondering how many people are like this. It seems the determination and perseverance is driven not by any guilt from society but an innate desire to live.
Confusing post. Some of the things you mentioned don't really depend on having others in one's life. Some are circumstance, luck, timing, or bad decisionmaking.
When you get right down to the nitty gritty, the whole will to live is innately selfish. Creatures (including the human creature) that don't have a strong will to live, well, don't. Humans survived through cooperation (family or social grouping working together) but at some point that basic will to live comes up. If it doesn't, or if altruism goes too far, no one makes it out alive.
But, there are drawbacks to being truly solitary too. If/when that solitary strong individual finds itself in serious trouble they have nothing to rely on but themselves. There is no rescue. However, they don't hope for or expect it.
If you are a social creature without any others to draw on you'll probably feel vulnerable and lost when facing trouble. I don't mean occasional solitude, I mean long term constant solitude. I also think the mere fact that "society" exists permits a lot of variation in how much support or contact any one individual within it actually requires.
Last edited by Parnassia; 07-05-2018 at 02:21 PM..
I was lucky in that any attempts to guilt me to be another person was taken as a challenge to do better. I eventually stopped that competition with my family because it stemmed from insecurity. However, I know that treatment of being thrown to the dogs does not always produce determination and perseverance in another person. This is because insecurity can result in a variety of behaviors.
Yup, basically that's right. It's like that quote, "If you're made of the right material, a hard fall is bound to result in a high bounce." Everyone responds differently to things. I don't respond negatively to people putting me down, or trying to belittle me, it doesn't kill my self-esteem or demotivate me. It's exactly the opposite. If my fire has gotten a bit on the weaker side, it douses gasoline all over it, creates a fiery burning drive to prove them wrong and make them eat their words. I'm also a vengeful person I admit, but I think the saying "the best revenge is a life well lived" is a great one.
Friends and family are important but frankly there are a lot of people on this planet and you can always make new friends. I'm an idealist with friends, and I really do wish that I could have a few close friends who are always near, we're always friends, and we're friends 50 years from now when we're really old. It doesn't seem like it's that realistic, though. It's never on my end, either, I always feel like I make the bulk of the effort and I seem to value friendship more than other people, which is kind of weird to me. I wouldn't expect that of myself but I suspect it's because the #1 virtue I value in people is loyalty (there's a great book called "The Philosophy of Loyalty" by Josiah Royce I believe, read it as a philosophy major and it left an impact since it already aligned with my thinking). I don't think that's true of most people, though. They aren't bad people, not by any means, but people are habits of convenience. They seem to value the friend who is nearby or who works at the same job or something like that over the long-time friend. It's like they're trading clothing for a new season almost.
I don't know what it is about that, but when friends are living far away, I always make an effort to text them often, just as often as before, and keep in touch, talk about mundane things, etc. I don't want our friendship to fade by distance, even if we can't see each other. I find that most people simply don't share that belief, though. They have an "out of sight, out of mind" attitude. So it kind of becomes like who cares if you have no friends, if that's how everyone is going to behave, just do what they do, go make new ones.
I seriously don't know what most people complain about when it comes to making friends since most people are so average by definition, it should be really easy to make friends who have similar interests. If your interests are mostly aligned with societal interests, and your opinions are pretty much the opinions of the majority on most things, it should be enormously easy to make new friends. It's when you're looking for something different that it's tougher in my experience. Other friends who don't want kids (more likely to remain friends with these people too), other friends who are atheists, other friends who are ambitious and successful, the more variables like that you add, the fewer people there are like you to befriend. Perhaps the only good thing about that is you may be more likely to remain friends since you both know you're a rarer breed.
I have friends and family & I don't think I live for either of them. I don't have kids, so maybe my answer will change then.. But I have loving parents, amazing siblings, great husband, super cute nephews, lots of carrying aunts/uncle/cousins/inlaws & lots of friends from all walk of life & I have lost few of those peoples in recent years. but life goes on, we live for ourself till end of cycle of time. None of these family or friends are the reason I am living or the reason I might stop living.
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