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I am curious to know some of the psychology behind parents or certain people who have very high exceptations of their son or daughter to get prefect grades in school
While I don’t believe it’s a wrong expectation I do believe it’s still fine to get a Grade of C or B if you are technically still passing your classes in Elementary , Middle, or High school
My parents actually got pretty upset a few times when I was little because I received a C in Math quite a lot in high school but man I hated math so much plus the teacher was pretty challenging so getting a perfect was not Easy but I finish with a C and still got accepted to University later on.
Has anyone gone Thru this before ?
If your a parent would you expect your child to aim for perfect A’s or would a B or C still suffice?
I can somewhat understand the issue with getting a C. But Getting a B. Punishing a child for getting a B? That is going to cause a lot of issues down the line.
The rare C on a progress report, usually with an explanation, it's not *that* big of a deal, but I do expect mostly As and Bs, because they're fully capable of earning high grades.
My oldest received a B- for her community service packet at the end of school last year. I asked why and she said she didn't complete the sections in the correct ink color. *shrug* No big deal.
I have 2 children myself and want them to get As and Bs. Parents want their children to be the best. Who would want their children to be mediocre? The problem is when reality hits and your child isn't the studious, straight A student you hoped. Then how do you feel about that?
If you're an intelligent kid, with no learning disabilities, adequate social skills, etc., than I can understand a parent expecting more from you than B's and C's. Especially if there's an expectation of College down the road. I can see it...but I don't think I was that parent.
I had a kid with Asperger's who wasn't diagnosed until he was 15. He struggled with EVERYTHING from Pre-K til high school. (He actually flourished once he hit high school.)
I wasn't as concerned about A's and B's as much as not losing homework, not barreling through kids out in the halls, not getting written up every day, not bringing home frownie faces, and so on and so forth. Worrying about grades would've been 'normal'. 'Normal' would've been nice.
Most kids are by definition average. It stands to reason that most should get average grades.
By creating a situation where it's expected that average students have above - average grades to show for their efforts, at all costs, we devalue the higher grades, and keep everything at a functional level of mediocrity. An A isn't really an A anymore if most students can easily achieve As. They are no longer a measurement of excellence, but indicate the average.
I would say, OP, that parents don't like "C"s if they "know" you can do better, because they conclude you're just being lazy, and laziness isn't acceptable. However, if you were genuinely trying hard, and a C in a certain subject is the best you could manage, parents shouldn't be uptight about that. Especially if the rest of your grades were good.
My son gets straight As now, but he didn't always. I was fine with the former grades as long as he was trying and I got him help with his biggest trouble area, not to change that grade to an A but to lessen his frustration and keep him from falling too far behind.
Most kids are by definition average. It stands to reason that most should get average grades.
By creating a situation where it's expected that average students have above - average grades to show for their efforts, at all costs, we devalue the higher grades, and keep everything at a functional level of mediocrity. An A isn't really an A anymore if most students can easily achieve As. They are no longer a measurement of excellence, but indicate the average.
I'm not sure I agree with this. Shouldn't the average child have a high percentage of retention of an appropriately created lesson? C doesn't mean average among all peers, it means only a passable amount of the lesson is learned. If a child can not achieve that then the material is too much for him/her and changes or accommodations need to be made.
That doesn't mean every single C is doom, Cs happen, but I disagree that C, just because it's in the middle of the letter grades, means average/typical, in practical terms (even though that's the standard explanation). Given the fact that D and F can both mean failing - in college, for example - wouldn't that make A-C acceptable in varying degrees, with B in the middle of those and therefore average?
C isn't the end of the world but it can definitely indicate the child is slipping and needs help before falling further behind. I don't think of the average person as on such thin ice during his/her day.
I would say, OP, that parents don't like "C"s if they "know" you can do better, because they conclude you're just being lazy, and laziness isn't acceptable. However, if you were genuinely trying hard, and a C in a certain subject is the best you could manage, parents shouldn't be uptight about that. Especially if the rest of your grades were good.
This argument has two problems. One (1), parents can confuse "laziness" with actual laziness. That is, when their child is struggling for whatever reason, oftentimes brought on by their own overzealousness or by an incompatible teacher, they refuse to admit it. So it's easier to ass-u-me the child is "lazy", rather than to change the child's environment or their own actions. Two (2), like I said before, many parents really want to be able parade their child around---his/her grades, in this case---and say "Look what I made!" When the child gets straight A's, you can do that---"hey, look, my kid's a genius!" When a child gets an occasional C, not so much.
This argument has two problems. One (1), parents can confuse "laziness" with actual laziness. That is, when their child is struggling for whatever reason, oftentimes brought on by their own overzealousness or by an incompatible teacher, they refuse to admit it. So it's easier to ass-u-me the child is "lazy", rather than to change the child's environment or their own actions. Two (2), like I said before, many parents really want to be able parade the child around---his/her grades, in this case---and say "Look what I made!" When the child gets straight A's, you can do that. When a child gets an occasional C, not so much.
That matter scenario indicates a much bigger problem than a demand for good grades, though. There's obviously more playing into such an attitude and need.
I think for the former, that's getting a lot rarer. Go on a teacher's board and see all the aggravated, exhausted posts about parents who think their children must be understimulated/bored, or else have some conflict, or some other special snowflake reason for not achieving, if you want examples of this from the horse's mouth.
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