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I don’t believe so. Statistics show that 90% of people were married by age 30. Today in cities like San Francisco and Philadelphia, almost half of men in their 40s are unmarried!! I think liberalism has a lot to do with it; the disgusting culture of experimenting with different people and living together for years until you break up. Those things you mentioned back in the days like ignoring letters and brushing off compliments weren’t as common because if that were true, the statistics I put out wouldn’t be true.
Why is it more important to be married than to be happy and fulfilled? More people might have been married in the past, but it doesn't follow that they were content and in a loving and equitable partnership. They had one path open to them and shame and stigma if they didn't follow it. You think that's admirable?
Anyone can learn. it is not easy, and we may not be very skilled at it. You may need to experience the same type of thing repeatedly until you finally realize what is happening to you. We are here to help you as much as we can. Consider a counselor and trusted friends too if you have those applicable to you. Try not to use your trusted friends too much, and offer back what you can.
I’ve been trying this for almost 5 years and still never been on a date. My Asperger’s always gets in the way and I don’t mean that I tell people my diagnosis. I never do that. What I mean is that my brain can’t comprehend the social games people play.
That’s one of the reasons I pin about politics a lot. Marriage rates are lower in liberal cities because many women there think that men are toys because they been toyed by dating the same guys at this bar or that club. I don’t think women ever get abused from dating a guy from church, but church dating is “boring” to lefties, so they like to live “life on the edge”. The men in such places also contribute to this trend because they encourage good girls there to lose hope on marrying someone family oriented when “bro-culture” like drugs and blackouts is all you believe in.
When I read election results in places like Coweta county, GA, where Brian Kemp (R) won 70% of the vote, it’s comforting because those are places where dating is old fashioned and simple like it was back in the days. Divorce rates are lower among conservatives as well.
Last edited by AspergersSucks; 02-21-2019 at 09:33 AM..
Why is it more important to be married than to be happy and fulfilled?
I don’t believe anyone can be happy and fulfilled without having someone who loves them. Imagine coming home after a long and bullying day of work. Nobody to welcome you and talk about your day? Nobody to have a loving conversation with? Nobody to have a great dinner date? Just you and the remote. I can’t live like this for life.
I don’t believe anyone can be happy and fulfilled without having someone who loves them. Imagine coming home after a long and bullying day of work. Nobody to welcome you and talk about your day? Nobody to have a loving conversation with? Nobody to have a great dinner date? Just you and the remote. I can’t live like this for life.
That's what you need, then. You don't get to dictate what makes other people happy. Other people can easily be fulfilled being alone or with casual or non-monogamous relationships.
You seem to have a lot of magical thinking attached to marriage--that if only you were married, you'd be a different, happier person. That people who are married are better and more responsible. A relationship is like anything--where ever you go, there you are.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 02-21-2019 at 09:51 AM..
I don’t think women ever get abused from dating a guy from church, .
If I didn't think that you really, honestly believe this, I'd be laughing.
I get your frustration that some people play games that seem incomprehensible. I don't understand social or political games when I encounter them, being on the spectrum myself. And I find it very frustrating when people don't follow the "rules" as I was taught them. But there are lots of people who don't play games, who are just plain ole nice people. And not just at church. My husband isn't on the spectrum, and while he doesn't always get me, nor me him, we have a great relationship. One that has always been clear and open and devoid of games since the day we met.
OP, you would hate old fashioned dating. Men had to make ALL the moves. Women couldn't even really show interest in a way that others would notice or she would get a "reputation." I wasn't even allowed to call a boy on the phone or drive a boy anywhere, and that was the '70s. Talk about games.
Playing the game is not going to be your problem. It will be the ability to act naturally/normally and confidently around a woman you are interested in.
That's what you need, then. You don't get to dictate what makes other people happy. Other people can easily be fulfilled being alone or with casual or non-monogamous relationships.
I’m not one of those people. Call me old-fashioned, but I think the loony left is contributing to this trend of destroying marriage. It’s partly why depression and suicide rates are higher than it used to be.
You’re right, I can’t dictate, but I can find my niche of people who believe in marriage and conservative values. I can’t fathom a world where it is legal to kill an infant after birth (what Governor Northam allows) and where a transgender person can enter the bathroom “he” or “she” desires with bad intentions. The election and primaries will tell us what parts of the country are still sane.
I’m not one of those people. Call me old-fashioned, but I think the loony left is contributing to this trend of destroying marriage. It’s partly why depression and suicide rates are higher than it used to be.
You’re right, I can’t dictate, but I can find my niche of people who believe in marriage and conservative values. I can’t fathom a world where it is legal to kill an infant after birth (what Governor Northam allows) and where a transgender person can enter the bathroom “he” or “she” desires with bad intentions. The election and primaries will tell us what parts of the country are still sane.
You know what? It's perfectly fine to be more old-fashioned and conservative, but verbalizing fringe beliefs and bigoted untruths like you have in the above post is probably going to hurt your dating life (among conservatives and "loons" alike) more than your ASD will.
I don’t believe so. Statistics show that 90% of people were married by age 30. Today in cities like San Francisco and Philadelphia, almost half of men in their 40s are unmarried!! I think liberalism has a lot to do with it; the disgusting culture of experimenting with different people and living together for years until you break up. Those things you mentioned back in the days like ignoring letters and brushing off compliments weren’t as common because if that were true, the statistics I put out wouldn’t be true.
Yes, because women had few options, and men weren't considered adults unless they were married.
But that doesn't mean they were good marriages or the couple were happy. It meant a lot of them were stuck.
Your logic is faulty about lack of games - the same games have been played for thousands of years.
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I think liberalism has a lot to do with it; the disgusting culture of experimenting with different people and living together for years until you break up.
Quote:
Marriage rates are lower in liberal cities because many women there think that men are toys because they been toyed by dating the same guys at this bar or that club. I don’t think women ever get abused from dating a guy from church, but church dating is “boring” to lefties, so they like to live “life on the edge”.
Quote:
The men in such places also contribute to this trend because they encourage good girls there to lose hope on marrying someone family oriented when “bro-culture” like drugs and blackouts is all you believe in.
OP, you seem to have a lot of strong (and mean) opinions about people you don't know.
I am reminded of those Asperger dudes who become so fixated on groups they fear and hate, they go nuts on them. (Eliot Roger, Va Tech killer, etc.)
This is part of the problem with the inability to understand nuance or put yourself in other people's shoes and understand how they think and what they believe. For people on the spectrum, the only "right" thing is what they believe.
Also, divorce rates are higher in red states than blue ones. Pro-tip: If you ever doubt some fact you made up, you can always google it.
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