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Hi! My husband has a job interview in Chapel Hill on Nov 1 and they're flying us both in for the occasion. While he has his interview, I'll be getting the local tour, followed by dinner with everyone.
We're in town for 2 days and I'm wondering what the weather will be like. Will we need fall jackets? We're in NY and it's been around 50 degrees lately - I'm hoping NC is a bit warmer!
Also since they'll be dragging me 'round CH on the family-friendly tour, is there anything in particular I might want to see? Any neighborhoods or attractions that might help us in making the decision about whether or not this is a good fit for our family with two small children?
And finally do you have any helpful tips for us northerners? Any etiquette things that we (northerners) usually miss? If Yankees are going to offend, how do they usually do it? Of course we want to make a good impression and I'd hate for us to step into some major social faux-pas that could have been avoided if only I'd asked the wise folks on here...
We recently relocated from NY and love it here..people are very nice & there are tons of great things to do with kids. I have a 4 and 2 year old and there are multitudes of activities to do within a 5 to 30 minute drive. You will love the weather differences here..right now it is 40-50 overnight & 70's during the day. The amount of sun right now compared to the dreary season in NY that is usual this time of year is SO nice.
If you would be looking at living in CH definitely check out the downtown area & Carrboro is very popular as well. And I don't feel there is anything you should be careful about down here as far as social faux-pas. Most people seem to be pretty easygoing.
I would guess that whoever you are doing this tour with has probably done this many many times before so they will be very helpful to you as well. Good luck! Hope that everything goes well on your visit!
And finally do you have any helpful tips for us northerners? Any etiquette things that we (northerners) usually miss? If Yankees are going to offend, how do they usually do it? Of course we want to make a good impression and I'd hate for us to step into some major social faux-pas that could have been avoided if only I'd asked the wise folks on here...
Don't say: "Well up north we do it THIS way." And if someone says to you "Well bless your heart.", you've already screwed up somehow.
And finally do you have any helpful tips for us northerners? Any etiquette things that we (northerners) usually miss? If Yankees are going to offend, how do they usually do it? Of course we want to make a good impression and I'd hate for us to step into some major social faux-pas that could have been avoided if only I'd asked the wise folks on here...
Thanks for any info or tips
I have been in the area since '83. With all the growth, it is rare to find a true native, so most everyone is an "import". The easiest way to start an argument is over BBQ or the local university sports teams. If you are in CH, don't wear Duke Blue or NCSU Red.
And finally do you have any helpful tips for us northerners? Any etiquette things that we (northerners) usually miss? If Yankees are going to offend, how do they usually do it? Of course we want to make a good impression and I'd hate for us to step into some major social faux-pas that could have been avoided if only I'd asked the wise folks on here...
You don't say specifically where you are coming from, which could make a difference. New Yorkers, for example, tend to be much, much more blunt about voicing negative thoughts and complaints than folks from around here, which rubs people the wrong way (OTOH, New Yorkers find North CArolinians passive aggressive and frustrating because we don't come right out and say things that might hurt someone's feelings or be considered rude).
As someone else said, the single biggest "infraction" you can incur is to say "Why don't you do ____ the way we do up North?" or "I can't believe you don't have [some kind of food/store/product] we had up north!" Generally you will be offered a one-way trip back home after statements like this. But this is not unique to the South--ANY area where people move in (especially in the numbers that are hpapening here) and promptly start making negative comparisons about why it's not as good as where they came from is going to react defensively. Wouldn't you do the same if thousands of Southerners moved into your home town and all they did was complain that they couldn't find good Barbecue or college basketball? Again, since you asked the question in the first place, you show a self-awareness that many transplants often do not, that your "ways" will be different and might come across offensively. Therefore I don't imagine any problems, since you ARE aware of this.
Southern culture (not that Chapel Hill doesn't have a wide mix of MANY cultures) is quieter, more laid back and passive (and yes, sometimes passive-aggressive), and polite than most other regions. Store clerks generally address customers as "Sir" and "Ma'am", which has been known to offend some northerners as they thought they were being called "old". Children here are generally taught not to address nonfamily adults by their first names, but "Mr X" or sometimes "Mr. Firstname" if they are a close friend of the parents.
Oh, and while you will find locals' reactions to what snow we get amusing (schools will close over 3", lots of wrecks, etc), voicing it is rude and patronizing. We simply don't get the experience driving in it, nor have anywhere near the amount of snow-removal equipment they do in areas with lots of snow. Enjoy the day off and don't say "well, BACK HOME, this would be handled like this..."
Chapel Hill is a wonderful place in the fall, and even more in the spring. I hope early November is still Octobery for you to most appreciate, rather than gray as it also can be.
OH--and if you ae coming Nov 1, you should be sure to be in Chapel Hill for Halloween night, uptown...interesting sites, to say the least! Just don't expect to be able to park anywhere near Franklin St.
There are many threads about the differences between life in the north and south. They are very interesting. The one thing most northerners notice is that here we rarely honk our horns while it seems to be quite acceptable every other minute up north. If I hear a horn honk I immediately look around for a friend to wave to instead of thinking I've made some driving infraction.
Chapel Hill is quite diverse in cultures and types of people. Very liberal, accepting and the Southern Part of Heaven. You should be so lucky to land here!!!!!!!
Southern culture (not that Chapel Hill doesn't have a wide mix of MANY cultures) is quieter, more laid back and passive (and yes, sometimes passive-aggressive), and polite than most other regions. Store clerks generally address customers as "Sir" and "Ma'am", which has been known to offend some northerners as they thought they were being called "old". Children here are generally taught not to address nonfamily adults by their first names, but "Mr X" or sometimes "Mr. Firstname" if they are a close friend of the parents.
I'm from the north, but I was also taught to address people as Mr/Mrs, Sir/Maam. When I was a graduate student on the west coast, it took me about 6 months before I would call my teachers by their first name. I have also picked up the custom of referring to someone as "Miss [firstname]". When speaking to someone 20-30 years older than me, it still seems odd to call them by their first name.
To be fair Francois, I hope you will not automatically equate being outspoken with being rude. There is a difference. Many Southerners stay quiet to avoid talking about something unpleasant or something that would embarrass someone. Most of the time that's admirable, but occasionally it's necessary for someone to speak up or speak out. I have seen this same tendency on the west coast. This passivity drives me crazy. I admire people who have good manners, but they can't be an excuse for not addressing something.
'Harris Teeter', Food Lion, Lowe's are names of grocery stores. Whole Foods is a local/organic/natural food grocery store - so you will know what those are when pointed out to you. Whole foods also has a lunch buffet and a seating area (also a breakfast and dinner buffet), so don't think it strange if you are offered lunch there. <smile>
There are some lovely parks in C.H. - with playgrounds - so asking about them would be nice. I don't know them by name, but have been to a couple of them while waiting for timing of soccer events to happen.
You don't mention your kids exact ages, but you might want to ask about where the elementaries are. Chapel Hill has its own school district, then further out there is the orange county school district. You can also very easily buy a home in Durham - depending on where you look at houses in Chapel Hill -- so just be aware that you might enter a housing development from the chapel hill side, but buy a house in Durham...When you drive there are signs that say 'welcome to durham' or just 'Durham city limits'.
Carrboro is a subsection, and is mentioned in a bunch of threads here - you might want to learn a bit about it before you can come down so you can murmur appropriate comments...
Carolina blue - is light blue - people here tend to be very basketball focused - so just be aware. We have Duke, NCSU (they wear red) and UNC -- also Wake Forest in Winston-Salem. Football fever is at a high right now -- UNC has been having some player/NCAA issues, so might not want to mention that right now...
You don't mention where exactly you are coming from - but the concept of a neighborhood exists down here - not sure how prevalent in Chapel Hill, but it is very prevalent in the Raleigh area -- where there could be common areas, a neighborhood pool, tennis courts all shared. It comes with yearly fees and a homeowner's association which you will see abbreviated by HOA.
Best of luck and hope you find it friendly down here.
'Harris Teeter', Food Lion, Lowe's are names of grocery stores. Whole Foods is a local/organic/natural food grocery store - so you will know what those are when pointed out to you. Whole foods also has a lunch buffet and a seating area (also a breakfast and dinner buffet), so don't think it strange if you are offered lunch there. <smile>
Not to get too off topic but Whole Foods isn't exactly local. They have stores in NY where they OP says they are located (although maybe not in her particular city). I remember going to one in Manhattan and being amazed at how HUGE it is compared to the one here.
Wow, thank you, everyone! I appreciate the info. I'll make sure we google the sports stuff before departure and will check out the playgrounds etc. I'm also interested in the homeowners' associations - we don't have them here in upstate NY.
The info about Southern culture and manners was especially helpful. We lived in NYC a few years ago and left because we didn't like who we were becoming there - it was too busy, brash and rude. I felt like I had a permanent case of 'road rage', and not just while driving. It got better when we moved a few hours north of the city, but it's a part of NY culture and something I won't miss if/when we move.
We're looking forward to our visit and I appreciate all of your help!
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Of course we want to make a good impression and I'd hate for us to step into some major social faux-pas that could have been avoided if only I'd asked the wise folks on here...
