Divorces/Live-in Breakups: How do you facilitate a smooth transition? (marriage, women)
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This is a question for all of you who have lived with someone or been married and eventually had the break-up. How do you help things go smoothly during that time period when you have broken up, but have not yet moved?
This can get really ugly for everyone, I think. So I'm looking for some good advice. Strategies that worked for you? Strategies that didn't and why?
My ex and lived together for 6 mos. after it was clearly over; she needed me to take care of her bills, her car care, her everything...she was totally dependent on me anyway....I financially supported her since she was not working (by choice) so it sucked but I did not mind since she was leaving. Whatever meager money she did make she could save as agreed and she did not contribute to the household so she had some funds to go out on her own before the settlement was made. We were basically civil since we gave up on it and knew it was time to move on.
My ex and lived together for 6 mos. after it was clearly over; she needed me to take care of her bills, her car care, her everything...she was totally dependent on me anyway....I financially supported her since she was not working (by choice) so it sucked but I did not mind since she was leaving. Whatever meager money she did make she could save as agreed and she did not contribute to the household so she had some funds to go out on her own before the settlement was made. We were basically civil since we gave up on it and knew it was time to move on.
Huh. Well. That must have been rough for her, too, but wow! getting to pay all the bills for her! That's something else.
My delay is finding a place, not so much financial, but I have to decide if I want to buy or rent, etc. And I want to buy, but I really don't like this area and my job is not dependent on my location. Can't decide where to move! Hmmm. And, for the record, this has happened before and we have gotten back together too many times to count. I can't stand it. But it's hard not to try to work it out. I guess that's part of it - keeping things civil while not returning to the "what if" conversations.
People handle it differently. For example, I'm 5 year into the end of my 28 year marriage to a guy who barely speaks to me and is actively (and he thinks "secretly") persuing other women, and we are still living together. It's a horrible and rediculous story but for those of you wondering how this can be possible just know this: I've discovered it's more common than you might think.
People handle it differently. For example, I'm 5 year in to the end of my marriage and we are still living together. It's a horrible and rediculous story but for those of you wondering how this can be possible just know this: I've discovered it's more common than you might think.
Well, if it works for you, that's great. I can see how it could be convenient once you've pooled a lot of resources. But whoa man! That's a scary vision when I think about it here... in my life. How do ya move on then?
People handle it differently. For example, I'm 5 year into the end of my 28 year marriage to a guy who barely speaks to me and is actively (and he thinks "secretly") persuing other women, and we are still living together. It's a horrible and rediculous story but for those of you wondering how this can be possible just know this: I've discovered it's more common than you might think.
My ex and I did it fast. Once our marriage deteriorated to the point that he would sometimes hit me when he was really drunk, we agreed it was over. He permanently left the house within a week.
I've never been ugly and I have stayed quiet to keep the peace, even when he needed an exorcist. Not much else you can do when they are intent on making it ugly.
People handle it differently. For example, I'm 5 year into the end of my 28 year marriage to a guy who barely speaks to me and is actively (and he thinks "secretly") pursuing other women, and we are still living together. It's a horrible and ridiculous story but for those of you wondering how this can be possible just know this: I've discovered it's more common than you might think.
Story of my life...You have to put an end to it...I did.
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That's a scary vision when I think about it here... in my life. How do ya move on then?
