Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I know this is a touchy subject for some but a discussion could perhaps lead to a better understanding among all of us.
Are those people/couples without children (who often refer to themselves as childfree) treated fairly in America's increasingly child-centered society?
Why are the childfree accused of hating children (just because they don't have them)?
How many childfree couples become second class citizens in their extended family because of their decision?
Are the childfree picking up the slack at work for the parents who must often leave early for family committments?
Why is it that a parent who volunteers to help coach youth soccer, etc is seen positively while someone without children doing so is seen as a bit creepy?
Do those with children respect the life choices of the childfree? Do the childfree respect the life choices of those with children?
Well, me and my husband are treated poorly from our family because we are "childfree". They say that if we don't have children we don't REALLY love each other etc. On the contrary, we cannot imagine our lives without each other, just that we think that now it is not the time for a child - children.
However, me and my husband do respect couples who have children, as well as the ones who don't. I think that that is something very personal, I don't think that family and/or friends should look "down" on people that don't have children and vice versa.
When it comes to "are the childfree picking up the slack at work for the parents who must often leave early", I really don't know, being that I am still in college.
I know this is a touchy subject for some but a discussion could perhaps lead to a better understanding among all of us.
Are those people/couples without children (who often refer to themselves as childfree) treated fairly in America's increasingly child-centered society?
I think sometimes we are treated unfairly or looked down upon. Childless people are often seen as selfish. This may be true for many, but having children is not exactly selfless act either. I think a lot parents need to get off of their high horses come back to reality when it comes to the selfish accusations.
Quote:
Why are the childfree accused of hating children (just because they don't have them)?
I don't ge this either. I don't hate kids, I was a kid once. I just don't want them for myself.
Quote:
How many childfree couples become second class citizens in their extended family because of their decision?
Luckily my family doesn't treat me any differently. Sure my mom want grandbabies but she respects my decision to not have kids.
Quote:
Are the childfree picking up the slack at work for the parents who must often leave early for family committments?
A lot of times yes especially when it comes to working late. From my experience, parents are rarely asked to do this.
Quote:
Why is it that a parent who volunteers to help coach youth soccer, etc is seen positively while someone without children doing so is seen as a bit creepy?
I guess your experience is different from mine because I don't see this often. Most people are happy to take any help they can get.
Quote:
Do those with children respect the life choices of the childfree? Do the childfree respect the life choices of those with children?
I think there needs to be more respect coming from both sides. Some childless people could be a little more patient when it comes to kids. At one point we were all kids and I seriously doubt we were always angels in public. I oftentimes have to check myself on my attitude towards children and their parents. I'm trying to be less judgemental when I see rowdy kids and their parents because I don't know the whole situation. However, parents need to understand that people don't want to be inundated with kids all of the time. There is a time and place for everything. I'm not going to whine and complain about the noise level at a noon showing of Shrek 3, but you bet I will b*tch about a baby screaming at a midnight showing of Halloween.
I think there are pros and cons to either lifestyle choice.
As someone who currently has no children, I have had to pick up slack at the office many times for coworkers who had to deal with urgent issues with their kids and had to leave. I also was usually the one to get stuck working the day before/after holidays, so parents could take the day off to be home with their kids. I wasn't forced to, but it's hard to say no in that situation. However, because I was able to pick up the slack, I got better raises and more respect at the workplace. Also I am currently interviewing for jobs, and I believe it is to my advantage to be able to say, yes, I can work late and work the occasional Saturday if needed, whereas a parent might not be able to.
I don't think it's creepy at all if someone without kids, wants to work or volunteer for youth organizations.
I respect people who choose to be childless, and I respect people who choose to have children. It's a personal choice, and as with all choices, there are positive and negative consequences no matter what you choose.
I admire couples who decide not to have children, there are so many children with parents who didn't really want them but gave in because their families expected them to have children.
I have 4 children... three have lives of their own... and the youngest is 16.
I do have an opinion about childless people. Not necessarily couples... but childless people. This may raise some hackles... but it has been my observation(s). Here's the short list: positives then negatives...
Positives:
well mannered
neat
squared away
nice homes
nice cars
nice clothes
nice vacations
good jobs
educated
volunteers
socially aware
negatives:
very sensitive to change, likes routines
critical of most parents with kids
critical of most children
critical
opinionated
prefers animals to people
a bit eccentric
annal retentive
OCD
small things are ''momumental"
the sky is falling
demanding
self centered
procrastinators
Dave's jumps into a pot of boiling stupid!!
I have 3 siblings who are all married, and have no children. They drive me nuts. the older they get, the worse they've become. I love 'em ... but man alive... the smallest thing... like a child spilling something, and WHAM!!! the world is ending.
I know this is a small caption of reality... but my experieces have led to a limited amount of contact with them over the years. They won't come to me and I very rarely go see them, anymore. The world of child rearing and childless people are at other ends of the spectrum.
I have met wonderful, well balanced, tolerant people without children. I have friends without children... and they are fine people, but we are VERY different. If childless people do not become "engage" with kids, at some level, it is their loss.
I know this is a touchy subject for some but a discussion could perhaps lead to a better understanding among all of us.
Are those people/couples without children (who often refer to themselves as childfree) treated fairly in America's increasingly child-centered society?
Well, tax-wise no, they are not. I think single w/no kids get taxed higher than married w/ kids. The government loves marriage and children I guess.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xpat
Why are the childfree accused of hating children (just because they don't have them)?
Um, because some of them do hate children.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xpat
How many childfree couples become second class citizens in their extended family because of their decision?
I sat at the kids table until I was married and had kids. That sucked. I was sitting with the babies until I was 26. I guess no one in my family took me seriously enough to want to talk to me while they were eating because I was single/no kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xpat
Are the childfree picking up the slack at work for the parents who must often leave early for family committments?
Sometimes. But aren't there moments when the childfree have to go to the doctor/tend to a sick parent etc.? I personally never kept tabs on someone else's business when they left early even if it effected me. I would question anyone who didn't put their family before their work.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xpat
Why is it that a parent who volunteers to help coach youth soccer, etc is seen positively while someone without children doing so is seen as a bit creepy?
Good question. My husband used to coach tennis (teenagers and young kids) when he wasn't working his day job. He did it because he loved coaching and he had no children at the time (his previous wife didn't want any - so he divorced her eventually). Perhaps people saw him as creepy at first until they got to know him. Mentoring/coaching was the closest he was to being a dad at the time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xpat
Do those with children respect the life choices of the childfree? Do the childfree respect the life choices of those with children?
I absolutely respect the life choices of the childfree. I honestly think it's really smart to realize that they are not willing or able to be a parent for whatever reason. More people should be childfree and I think that the idea should not be shoved down their throats. It's a lifestyle choice and it's not for everyone. It's very hard to be a parent at times but it so worth it for me.
I have 4 children... three have lives of their own... and the youngest is 16.
I do have an opinion about childless people. Not necessarily couples... but childless people. This may raise some hackles... but it has been my observation(s). Here's the short list: positives then negatives...
Positives:
well mannered
neat
squared away
nice homes
nice cars
nice clothes
nice vacations
good jobs
educated
volunteers
socially aware
negatives:
very sensitive to change, likes routines
critical of most parents with kids
critical of most children
critical
opinionated
prefers animals to people
a bit eccentric
annal retentive
OCD
small things are ''momumental"
the sky is falling
demanding
self centered
procrastinators
Dave's jumps into a pot of boiling stupid!!
I have 3 siblings who are all married, and have no children. They drive me nuts. the older they get, the worse they've become. I love 'em ... but man alive... the smallest thing... like a child spilling something, and WHAM!!! the world is ending.
I know this is a small caption of reality... but my experieces have led to a limited amount of contact with them over the years. They won't come to me and I very rarely go see them, anymore. The world of child rearing and childless people are at other ends of the spectrum.
I have met wonderful, well balanced, tolerant people without children. I have friends without children... and they are fine people, but we are VERY different. If childless people do not become "engage" with kids, at some level, it is their loss.
just one man's opinion... no offense intended.
Oh if you don't mind if I add to your list... Negatives - they always make the perfect parents even though they don't have any (kids)... so they are filled with advice on how children should be raised.
Positives - they look more rested and have money to burn.
good post.
Last edited by mommabear2; 09-06-2007 at 04:50 PM..
Reason: needed to add a word for clarity
Positives:
well mannered
neat
squared away
nice homes
nice cars
nice clothes
nice vacations
good jobs
educated
volunteers
socially aware
negatives:
very sensitive to change, likes routines
critical of most parents with kids
critical of most children
critical
opinionated
prefers animals to people
a bit eccentric
annal retentive
OCD
small things are ''momumental"
the sky is falling
demanding
self centered
procrastinators
I am childless by choice and I feel your assessment is almost spot-on in my case. I'm not socially aware nor am I the volunteering type unless you mean volunteering my time to help others and not necessarily an organization. As far as the negatives they all fit except for the self-centered descriptor. Great list.
Oh and these fit too:
Quote:
Negatives - they always make the perfect parents even though they don't have any... so they are filled with advice on how children should be raised.
Positives - they look more rested and have money to burn.
Don't give in to pressure to have kids, thats a choice. Maybe in the future your outlook might change, I know mine and my wifes did, from the time we were married when I was 21 and her 23 we said we did'nt want kids and did our own thing till I hit 30. I can't explain it exactly but I new the time was right and we just happened to be on the same page and planned it. We have 3 kids now and very happy. If your views on children don't change Thats a good thing too. I think the happiest people write their own script in life.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
this is gonna stir the pot!...
... and the youngest is 16
. 
