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Last Christmas I traveled to Vietnam for a few weeks in part to see my brother who was over there with his wife (who was born in neighboring Laos but grew up in the US) and partly to see a new country. While I was over there I decided to purchase some custom made leather shoes. So, I went in to have my feet measured and the gal who owned the shop spoke pretty good English.
I was in the shop with my sister in law because she wanted some shoes as well. The next day I went up to get my shoes and the gal asked if I would come back later to get the shoes for my "wife". I asked what she meant and it turns out she thought my sister in law and I were married. She asked if I had a girlfriend, etc and I told her no and she said she was unattached as well.
Anyways I was literally on my way to the bus stop out of town so I didn't stay long. The gal was super gorgeous though and seemed nice so we exchanged email addresses but I had no intention of pursuing her as more than maybe someone to keep in touch with and maybe visit if I ever came back. This happened to me probably half a dozen times while there, but from our brief conversation I really dug this girl and if I had more time there I definitely would have at least asked her out and tried to get to know her better. My understanding is western men are considered desireable by some women over there because they can help the women gain citizenship through marriage so I was a little wary, but I also met some people over there from the states and Europe who married local women and and seemed pretty happy as well including the owners of a hotel I stayed at.
So, we started emailing each other and I didn't really think anything of it. I was dating over here and really didn't want to pursue someone overseas for obvious reasons so I kept things casual. A couple of months ago she began writing me more like every two days or so. She started saying things like she thought I was good looking, etc and she wanted to see me etc.
A few weeks back I ran into a good friend of mine I hadn't seen in months. He said last year he took a trip to Argentina, met a woman, and she is now living with him and they are engaged. He told me if I like this girl I should at least go visit. He brought his new girlfriend over the other day and she is a knockout. She of course said I should go as well.
Now I am actually thinking of going back to Vietnam to see "shoe girl" as my brother calls her. I don't really have any expectations of anything happening one way or another but I have to admit I'm tempted. Am I nuts for even considering this?!?!?!
You'll never know unles you do it! If you can afford it, then hell why not??? Life is short, make the most of it!!
Seriously, I don't think you're basing all of this on a short encounter in a shoe store. You're basing it more on the emails since then, and you wouldn't be the first to do that. Some online romances work out very well.
No, I don't think you're nuts to consider another trip to Vietnam. Just don't put pressure on yourself to make an even more important decision while you're there. Just go for a visit and enjoy your vacation.
suggest that you migh considder living in her country for a while and getting to know her better before making a lifetime comitment.
besides it would broaden your life's expirences living in another country for a while..
it wouldn't hurt to know her language, and the people that have formed her life, may be spend some time with her parents and friends.
find out if she is trying to escape her country . You are going to adopting her thinking into your thinking, you'd better be sure you both are on the same page.
that's my advise
I asked her for for her email first. I had been told by people I met there it is common for women to approach western men as a way out of their country, and I had a number of women start coming up to me and chatting with me out of the blue, and they would insist on giving me their contact info, etc, but this was totally different. I even had a tour guide offer to introduce me to his younger sister. So yeah, she may be doing this with other guys and may be looking at me only as a way into the U.S. and greater opportunity, etc but I plan on getting to know her REALLY well before I would even think of bringing her over here.
Even before we really started emailing back and forth heavily I was considering a return trip anyways. Last time I saw the north and this time I would see the south. Her town is right in the middle of the country on the coast so I could work may way up towards it easily and make it part of a bigger trip. I had a GREAT time when I was there and would love to go back whether or not we met up again.
I have zero expectations for anything really heavy to go on between us. If I did go back I would try to see her of course, but at this stage I'm looking at it like we are just getting to know each other and if something happened romantically cool, but if not no worries.
Finally, I can afford the trip. That is not an issue for me. I could also potentially take a couple of months next summer and go over there if I wanted to pursue things further....
As far as the US goes, only if they've been under a rock in the past 10 years or so.
Yeah, well I agree but still as a whole we've got a pretty good standard of living compared to a lot of people in that part of the world. Especially those from smaller towns.
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this might seem a bit impossable but
