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Wow. Did you read what I posted to you. That wasn't aimed at you. I quote LoveMountains. That was posted to her.
I sent you a post and quoted your post. I'm sorry you misunderstood me.
Thanks for the clarification.
I know you feel judged here. But I think a lot of us are coming from experience. Been there -done that- seen that- regret that klind of experience.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NOVAChick
I am worried that if I stop talking to him, I will lose him.....
But I know him and he will think that I abandoned him if I say I want to work on myself for awhile and not deal with him right now. .
NOVA, this is what people are trying to get you to see. You are putting your attention and concern on some new guy. Not where your attention needs to be- on your kids and yourself.
Who give a rat's a** if this guy gets bent because you work on yourself. Really? What is more important? Paying attention your kids needs and yourself or the feelings of a guy you met a month ago.
Ask yourself that, then ask yourself again, until it sinks in.
I am sorry to say this but the ones who will feel the most abandned in this is your kids. They are greivng a divorce and your head is not with them mentally. Its wrapped up in a new man.
LOL. All this typing comes in handy for my career and my MBA. I'm on my third degree, plus I write novels, poetry and music so I'm used to it.
I thought about that. It may be a game for them even though he claims they aren't sleeping together anymore....guess time will tell.
My priorities are A-Ok!
Only insecure people feel the need to brag about their educational accomplishments
I would never discuss my educational background on this forum. Not to mention, it's off topic and has nothing to do with your ability to make good choices.
Unless and until your children and their emotional health and security are your #1 priority (which they can't be if you are busy with a new man) your priorities are NOT A-ok.
You're right. I will try to remember that. A lot of the guys here that are in my preferred age range are married and trying to cheat on their wives with me and my single friends and family members. No thanks. But I feel you.
Sounds like you didn't have your list of things, when you met this guy.
My list:
Are you married
Do you live with someone
Do you have any children
If so, how many moms
Are you a single parent
Are you on the "DL"
A yes to any one of these items is a no date.
Nova, it sounds like your "lady part" has gotten in the way. Pull up. This dude isn't worth the trouble.
If you like peotry, then go to "Busboys and Poets". It's always some handsome men there.
Good grief - the sad thing is you actually think you have a right to a love life when your divorce isn't even final
You are living a fools dream and will ruin your kids in the process - hope you can live with THAT once the damage is done and you reap what you sow.
You said in your first post, "be completely honest, I want the best advice"
Apparently you really didn't mean that.
I agree. Your "love life" is inextricably linked to the other things in your life, like the kids.
This is a disaster in the making.
Try being alone for a while, just you and the kids. Try and understand why you do the things you do that cause havoc and chaos in your life. Get to know yourself without a man around to muck it up - a man with a load of baggage to boot.
Now you're sick of J but still have feelings for him.
ALL IN THE SPAN OF ONE MONTH?
Honey, that's not love. That's hormones, drama, and booze.
Do yourself and your kids a favor and take care of your divorce first, take time to heal, and then slowly dip your toes in the water with dating--at least a year from now.
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