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How long have you known that you were one? I found out recently that I have more introvert personality traits than extrovert. The bad thing about this is that growing up I thought I had to be outgoing, have tons of friends and have quick responses or opinions about things. Therefore, I tried making friends with people who were extroverts which is fine, but I probably would have made better introverted friends.
Where do you draw the line between being an introvert and just being boring? I go to play dates with other moms and there is a common denominator in all of these get-togethers. I am on the side-lines and it has always been this way.
All of us new moms met each other around the same time and it seems that some have hit it right off. Yes, they are more outgoing and I can't help but think that if I was just a little more like them, I could feel part of the group. However, my personality just won't allow it. If I and another person want to speak at the same time, I usually back down and let the other person go first. This usually means that I don't say anything at all because I had the same thoughts as the other person, or realized that my thoughts were in the minority or the subject has changed. So it is very easy to feel left out.
I guess I could try to meet up with introverted mothers but chances are they already have good friends. BTW-My closest friend has no children, is still working and attending college so we don't hang out that much anymore.
So, when it comes to moving away from close friends and family, do you find it more difficult to make new close friends?
Where do you draw the line between being an introvert and just being boring?
So, when it comes to moving away from close friends and family, do you find it more difficult to make new close friends?
1. Probably my whole life. I've always been on the quiet/shy side, have no problem entertaining myself, dislike large groups of people, and don't really like being in the spotlight. I actually like having extroverted friends, they entertain me and I can just hang out and watch.
2. Introvert doesn't equal boring. If you're having trouble talking in a group, try grabbing one or two aside and having a more intimate conversation. Or figure out something that you have in common with one of them and invite them out for coffee or a one-on-one playdate. Introversion is more of a preference with regards to social interactions, it's not necessarily shyness or social awkwardness. For example, if I have to I can go to a party/function alone and mingle. I don't like it, but I can do it.
3. Making close friends is always difficult, and for me it always seems to be the person I least suspect in a group. The best thing you can do is try to find people with common interests and force yourself to break out your shell a little.
I say introversion is a choice. If you feel bad about being introverted change your prespectives on social situations.
Whatever fear is keeping you down try and view it as an opportunity to step up. If you want to change your life a little bit change your ways. If you want to change your life by quantum leaps, change your prespectives.
I am rather introverted which surprises some people. I actually like just being by myself at home playing video games. However, I also realized that this behavior was leading me to miss out on some nice things in life, especially female attention and friends.
With effort, and some training, I can overcome my natural tendencies and be quite outgoing. When I comment that I'm normally shy, I often hear, "oh I know that's not true!"
I think that it's a good idea to learn to be more outgoing so you can have more options. One of the secrets of life is to be happy doing what you are doing. If staying home to play the latest Modern Warfare is the place you want to be most in the world, then cool. On the other hand, if you would rather be out with people but are too fearful of rejection and thus stay at home playing a game... well that's not good.
I say introversion is a choice. If you feel bad about being introverted change your prespectives on social situations.
Whatever fear is keeping you down try and view it as an opportunity to step up. If you want to change your life a little bit change your ways. If you want to change your life by quantum leaps, change your prespectives.
introversion is no more a choice than extroversion is
try telling a gregarious person to just be an introvert for a while...it won't work. that is who they are.
i myself am an introvert and have known it always. it's who i am. i prefer to be quiet and in small groups. i do however HAVE to sometimes act like an extrovert--especially at work. i had to work a long time and it was very difficult for me to get this far. i had to relax and try to get rid of as much of my shyness as i could, in order not to seem socially awkward. it has gotten easier as i get older because others around me are not as childish and point out things that would make me more nervous and shy about myself.
You know, it's a very common misconception that introverts are shy or socially uncomfortable. Introverts prefer solitary activities by preference whereas shy people avoid people out of fear.
I knew since I was a child. One does not choose to be an introvert. It is possible to act like an extrovert when that is not your natural tendency, but it is exhausting and can make others perceive you as fake. I am what I am and I'm not going to pretend otherwise. I don't particularly care about making new friends, I value and love the ones I already have, and any new ones will come along of their own accord.
How long have you known that you were one? About 8 or 9 years. Reflecting back on my childhood--bookwormy, quiet, a bit of a loner--I've probably always been one. However, there was a time when I tested ENTJ on Myers-Briggs, in my 20s. I chalk it up to youthful exuberance and the social scene in one's 20s. And yet, always abhorred crowds and needed to regenerate after being in one.
Where do you draw the line between being an introvert and just being boring? Some people do find introverts boring in person, and there is no way of getting around that. However, people who have the consideration to stop running their mouths a la extroversion for a few seconds eventually realize that "quiet" and "private" are not synonymous with "dull."
So, when it comes to moving away from close friends and family, do you find it more difficult to make new close friends? Yes, but I don't necessarily feel the need to let proximity be my guide. I have close friends all over the country. It's more a meeting of minds than outreached hands. I work at home, alone, and do a lot of things alone, and that is fine with me.
For the person who said introversion is a choice, studies have shown again and again that it is not. Introverts think differently than extroverts. They process information differently, they react to external stimuli (including the presence of other people) differently, and they have completely different emotional needs. They do not become energized around other people. Instead, they find other people draining. It's not that they don't like other people. They just like other people in small amounts.
[URL="http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/2696/"]Caring for Your Introvert[/URL] has become a bit of a manifesto for introverts everywhere. Check it out.
I say introversion is a choice. If you feel bad about being introverted change your prespectives on social situations.
Whatever fear is keeping you down try and view it as an opportunity to step up. If you want to change your life a little bit change your ways. If you want to change your life by quantum leaps, change your prespectives.
Introversion is not a choice no more than being gay is a choice. They're preferences. And despite what most people think, there's nothing wrong with being an introvert. It's simply a way of describing how people prefer to interact with others, where they draw their energy from, etc. It's NOT based on fear. As passionatearts pointed out, not every introvert is shy. I think extroverts characterize us this way because they don't understand why we're not more like them. So it's easier just to conclude that we're all shy.
juniperbleu said word for word what I would've said. I've been an introvert my whole life, not out of fear, but because that's just my personality. I have no trouble interacting with people at work or strangers out in public. But I don't enjoy dealing with large groups. I would rather get together with a friend or two for dinner than go to a party. I find the latter to be too draining. I also prefer to NOT be the center of attention (which is probably a big reason I work in IT). There are days where I wish I was more outgoing. It would probably make it easier to make friends. But I learned a long time ago to own who you are and come to terms with it, not spend life wishing you were something you're not or be made to feel like a misfit cause you're not like everyone else.
All persons are different and IMO it's a bit infantile to assume that others are all the same or should be like you. Every new person is a unique entity, so to me it's laziness on the part of new persons. They simply can't be bothered to spend time to get to know the person.
I'd suggest finding persons of like mind, or going places where persons of like mind gather. Clubs/bars IMO are no-nos for introverted persons, since due to the nature of these places an introvert may feel out of place.
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