Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Good to hear that you told her no. Think about you and your son's futures that should be first in your mind.
Also with having 4 other cats that aren't trained would be like a filthy zoo in your house. That alone would drive you crazy and then someone lazy and not looking for a job would tilt me over to koko land.
I've had more then 4 cats before and if you don't keep them in check, they will take over your house.
Congrats on your law school graduation and your son's h.s. graduation! Hope both of you treat yourselves to something nice.
I only have until may to finish law school and he's graduating h.s. in June. I'm afraid that allowing her to stay will cause chaos, which is the last thing i'm looking for. I'm all about having stability in life.
Those two things are plenty to keep you busy right there and you certainly don't need another project. This one would be never ending.
This girl needs a reality check QUICK! Her leaving you in a train station,not responding to your calls and you were staying with her for your visit and she treated you like crap??? Yeah ok. She seems like she's the type who thinks society owes her something. You seem like you just wanted to reach out,and when she started to tell you her misfortune you caved...but don't you think she has been around you long enough to know that you would? You are not obligated to be her crutch. Don't feel bad,make up an excuse..I'll help you make one up..lol..but seriously listen to the people on here. She is toxic and you don't need that in your life or your son/daughter's life.
...
Anyone have a similar experience who can share or anyone who has an opinion or advice?
Tell this 'friend' that you cannot accomodate her at your residence. That's it. You are under no obligation to explain why not and, most certainly, under no obligation to help her - especially considering how she treated you in the past.
Nah. Let her rot. She'd probably steal something of yours. People like that cannot be trusted esp when they are so emotionally wrecked that they can turn on you in an instant. You will have to watch your back. You will never know what to expect...
Friends who are erratic - I ditch them. If they don't know that I have good intentions and work out misunderstandings, they weren't really meant to be my friend in the first place.
I reconnected with a friend last week. We stopped speaking in the summer of '09, because she treated me poorly when I stayed with her while visiting the City.
She picked fights with me over stupid things and wouldn't allow me to sleep late. She even went so far as to vacuum her entire apt (a studio) to wake me up.
The final straw was when we left her apt to go to a museum and she left me in the subway station. I had a problem trying to add money on my metrocard. (the machine was malfunctioning because of rain), So, it took some time for me to get the card. Anyway, i go thru the turnstile, and she's gone. I walk down to the platform, don't see her. I walk from one end of the platform to the other, she's gone. Now since I was staying with her, that meant all of my stuff was at her place, and i had nowhere to go.
I called her numerous times and left messages. No callback. So i go to my old neighborhood and get a hotel room. Hours later, she calls as if nothing happened. Says she left her phone at home. I told her what happened with the card and asked why she left me. She said she left because the train came. Really?
After that, i went to her place, picked up my stuff, and never called her again. She never called me either, so she had to know she did something wrong.
I made the mistake of emailing her recently to let her know i would be in the City. Now she's going thru hardtimes. She has nowhere to live. She wants to stay with me, but i'm not sure i should let her for a few reasons:
1. i've known her for 5yrs and have not seen her look for a job
2. she's probably going to be offended by the fact that she will have to sleep on the couch
3. she hates kids, and i have one, he's older though
4. she has 4 cats that she allows to have full reign over everywhere. i have one cat who sleeps on my bed or the couch, but she doesn't walk around on countertops the way the 4 cats do.
5. she won't humble herself enough to make the sacrifices that she will have to make as a homeless person. she won't take any job or an apt that's not in a "cool" place.
I feel guilty, but i don't want her to stay because i know she'll end up living with me. Oh, i forgot to add that NONE of her friends in the City will allow her to stay with them. To me, that says i'm probably not the only friend she has mistreated.
Anyone have a similar experience who can share or anyone who has an opinion or advice?
Why on earth would you contact a person who treated you so horribly? Just pretend you didn't get her response. If she manages to contact you some other way, say it must have went in the junk folder and been deleted.
I reconnected with a friend last week. We stopped speaking in the summer of '09, because she treated me poorly when I stayed with her while visiting the City.
She picked fights with me over stupid things and wouldn't allow me to sleep late. She even went so far as to vacuum her entire apt (a studio) to wake me up.
The final straw was when we left her apt to go to a museum and she left me in the subway station. I had a problem trying to add money on my metrocard. (the machine was malfunctioning because of rain), So, it took some time for me to get the card. Anyway, i go thru the turnstile, and she's gone. I walk down to the platform, don't see her. I walk from one end of the platform to the other, she's gone. Now since I was staying with her, that meant all of my stuff was at her place, and i had nowhere to go.
I called her numerous times and left messages. No callback. So i go to my old neighborhood and get a hotel room. Hours later, she calls as if nothing happened. Says she left her phone at home. I told her what happened with the card and asked why she left me. She said she left because the train came. Really?
After that, i went to her place, picked up my stuff, and never called her again. She never called me either, so she had to know she did something wrong.
I made the mistake of emailing her recently to let her know i would be in the City. Now she's going thru hardtimes. She has nowhere to live. She wants to stay with me, but i'm not sure i should let her for a few reasons:
1. i've known her for 5yrs and have not seen her look for a job
2. she's probably going to be offended by the fact that she will have to sleep on the couch
3. she hates kids, and i have one, he's older though
4. she has 4 cats that she allows to have full reign over everywhere. i have one cat who sleeps on my bed or the couch, but she doesn't walk around on countertops the way the 4 cats do.
5. she won't humble herself enough to make the sacrifices that she will have to make as a homeless person. she won't take any job or an apt that's not in a "cool" place.
I feel guilty, but i don't want her to stay because i know she'll end up living with me. Oh, i forgot to add that NONE of her friends in the City will allow her to stay with them. To me, that says i'm probably not the only friend she has mistreated.
Anyone have a similar experience who can share or anyone who has an opinion or advice?
Advice: Run, don't walk. And don't feel guilty. She's a grown adult and needs to start taking responsibility for herself. Maybe she should check herself into a mental clinic.
I know that you are all right. I guess i just needed to know that i'm not being selfish. I just don't want to get me and my son into a really bad situation. We've been doing pretty good so far. I only have until may to finish law school and he's graduating h.s. in June. I'm afraid that allowing her to stay will cause chaos, which is the last thing i'm looking for. I'm all about having stability in life.
You are not being selfish. I think you just figured out the right thing to do and answered your own question. As some other posters pointed out, you have your son to protect as well as yourself.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Really?
That's a good one! lol
