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Couples can't agree on everything. So if there's a disagreement, you have to try and find some middle ground. But often, there is no middle ground. For example, maybe you want kids and he doesn't. You obviously can't have half a kid. And too often, couples fail to discuss certain potential areas of disagreement ahead of time. I thought of this as I was reading a headline about Halle Berry and how she and her ex couldn't agree on whether their daughter is black. She says she is and he says she isn't. I'm not going to argue who's right, but it does raise the issue of what to do when you can't find consensus. Whenever you hear about a couple divorcing, the stated reason is "irreconcilable differences" which always sounds like a way to dodge the question of what happened. But in this case, it seems it really is irreconcilable. But where do you go from there, especially in a case like this where the dispute is over a child and doesn't go away just because the marriage or relationship is over?
Last edited by DennyCrane; 02-08-2011 at 01:15 PM..
Couples can't agree on everything. So if there's a disagreement, you have to try and find some middle ground. But often, there is no middle ground. For example, maybe you want kids and he doesn't. You obviously can't have half a kid. And too often, couples fail to discuss certain potential areas of disagreement ahead of time. I thought of this as I was reading a headline about Halle Berry and how she and her ex couldn't agree on whether their daughter is black. She says she is and he says she isn't. I'm not going to argue who's right, but it does raise the issue of what to do when you can't find consensus. Whenever you hear about a couple divorcing, the stated reason is "irreconcilable differences" which always sounds like a way to dodge the question. But in this, case it seems it really is irreconcilable. But where do you go from there, especially in a case like this where the dispute is over a child and doesn't go away just because the marriage or relationship is over?
If one partner wants a child and the other doesn't, then you don't plan to have one - period. No child needs to come into this world only half wanted on purpose.
If having a child is more important to a person than their partner then the marriage wasn't going to make it anyway.
At least, in a perfect world, where everything is done rationally and logically.
...and while I'm at it, I'd like a pony.
In a case such as Ms. Berry's the parents need to consider what is best for the child, and one must swallow their pride (and prejudice?) and just give in. This does NOT, however, give the other free license to gloat.
Act like adults or don't have the kid in the first place.
If one partner wants a child and the other doesn't, then you don't plan to have one - period. No child needs to come into this world only half wanted on purpose.
If having a child is more important to a person than their partner then the marriage wasn't going to make it anyway.
Some ppl might say that having a child is one of the primary basic functions of marriage -- as far as I am aware, if I remember correctly anyway, even the Roman Catholic Church (and possibly several other Christian denoms. as well) will consider annulling a marriage or allowing a divorce to occur, if a female married spouse is fully capable of having a child, but refuses to, for whatever reason. And the RCC is most certainly not big at all, on annulments / divorces.
Trust me to say that Halle Berry's kid is going to make out just fine. Somehow, money seems to heal all wounds.
It is not an issue of the kid being black or white, it's all about the green...
Some ppl might say that having a child is one of the primary basic functions of marriage -- as far as I am aware, if I remember correctly anyway, even the Roman Catholic Church (and possibly several other Christian denoms. as well) will consider annulling a marriage or allowing a divorce to occur, if a female married spouse is fully capable of having a child, but refuses to, for whatever reason. And the RCC is most certainly not big at all, on annulments / divorces.
Talking about Halle Berry and her ex, the child is 1/4 since Halle herself is half. The odd thing about Halle is she did not grow up black but with a white mother so I don't know why she would raise her daughter black. Anyway, I think there's something missing with her but that's not the topic.
Let the facts speak for themselves as far as the race issue. Halle's father is African American and her mother is Caucasian. Gabriel is Caucasian. They can each deny the other until they're blue in the face. It isn't going to change the obvious.
Hopefully, in time, they'll be able to get along. If not, there really is nothing to be done. Sometimes there is no solution, you just wade through the muck and deal with it as best you can.
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the important thing is it shouldn't be always the same person who sacrifices.
