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I'm 42 and have been unemployed since Aug 15, 2008. An unemployed man is like dateless material. I had a good conversation in a park with a woman and got her email but later when I emailed her she didn't reply back. The only assets I got are my $34,000 bike collection, $25,000 in size 4 to 8 women's clothes, and a 3 story remodeled house in Wicker Park Chicago. I also collect $1095 monthly SSDI and have full Medicare A & B and Medicaid.
What keeps me from being lonely is that my mom lives at home with me now, but in 6 months she will fly to the Philippines to be with her husband. I will be alone and that is dangerous because sometimes I get paranoid or panic attacks and it's good to have someone nearby to keep you company and stabilize you.
My ultimate dream is to have a wife and two kids; one boy and one girl. But I have often been discriminated in the workplace when they called me gay for being a crossdresser. Yes, there are rare few women that marry crossdressers, - and I have to find one. I look at the women when I go to grocery stores or the shopping malls, but I haven't found one. Tomorrow I will go to a job fair and will look there too.
At 42 I feel too old to date a woman in her 20's. But many times people say I look young like a 28 years old because I'm fit and slim enough.
I have no experience dating a woman. I only kissed a girl in preschool and never since. I never had a girlfriend in elementary, HS, college, and after college. So I have lived a lonely life except for family. When my parents and aunt dies I will be one very lonely man.
Jesse, are you on medication for your panic attacks and paranoid? If so, is there a day program that you can go to to meet other people that are in your situation. I don't know what to tell you about crossdressing since I don't know too much about the subject.
Stop crossdressing and maybe, just maybe you'll find a woman.
Or, maybe you just need to come to terms that you are gay and go find yourself a "partner".
Or just a woman with a strap on....
No really, I wouldn't mess around with men. I wouldn't like to kiss a guy either.
I'm trying to "convert myself" by finding a woman my size so she can wear all my clothes and I would feel like crossdressing less. The urge to crossdress will never disappear and I've purged my clothes many times [5] only to come back to crossdressing. So I ask God to bless me with a good paying job that lasts so I can be worthy of a pretty enough women. And then to find a size 6 woman too. Like Britney Spears is the perfect size match: 5' 4" size 6.
I'm on Geodon which prevents paranoia and I take clonazapem when I get panic attacks. I only get panic attacks when I realize I have too many possessions and I can't buy anymore stuff because the house is loaded with my stuff... Like over 120 skirt suits, over 60 one piece swim wear, numerous lingerie, and maybe 12 bmx, 1 mtn, and 8 road bikes.
Yes, why don't you go back home to the Philippines with your mother so you won't be so lonely? Also is there any type of crossdressing magazine or online forum that you could participate in and meet others like yourself?
So I ask God to bless me with a good paying job that lasts so I can be worthy of a pretty enough women. And then to find a size 6 woman too. Like Britney Spears is the perfect size match: 5' 4" size 6.
Dude, seriously, WTF is up with you? Instead of asking god to bless you with a good paying job, you need to ask him to help you with your mental issues so you can get off that medication and ask for help with this whole crossdressing ridiculousness. Seriously. Look at your friggin profile pic, its crazy and it creeps me out. Have a friggin' yard sale to get rid of all those female clothes.
Oh, and another thing - Britney Spears lives just a couple of miles from me. I see her all the time and believe me brother there is no way she's a size 6. She looks good compared to where she was a couple of years ago, but a size 6 she aint.
I think you need to lose the lady clothes as well. I can't see any straight gal into that. If you are gay then you are gay. Hanging out in the middle is what is messing it up. If you aren't, start dressing like a man. Don't mind me, I'm just stating facts! lol
Ok, you are straight I take it. Many gay men don't even wear women clothes. Lose the clothes man!
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