Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I had been seeing this woman for a while, she's really great, very good looking, funny, intelligent. It was our 5th date and I invited her to my house. We had a few drinks, saw some old pics, etc. She then started to touch me and kiss me in a way I knew would eventually lead to sex. When I was sure she intended to spend the night there I panicked for obvious reasons.
I told her to stop because I needed to tell her something. Then I said I had been enjoying the dates but that we weren't really fit for each other and perhaps we should stop going out together. I then showed her the door. I could see she was really surprised and disappointed and kept saying 'What did I do wrong? Do you expect me to believe it just like this?'. I told her I'm no good for her and that there are plenty of single men around who can make her happy.
I really ruined it. But I panicked seriously, I saw very embarrassing moments coming had I let things flow.
Should I try to reconnect with her? Sorry for bringing my personal drama here, but I can't speak about this with no one, for obvious reasons as well.
Oh, please, you don't have to tell her. Who the hell cares!? It's just sex. It's nothing that you need a degree for. You think too much into this. You're a grown man. I'm sure you've watched some porn. Read things, or whatever. I don't really see how you could possibly totally screw it up. In my opinion - you can't.
I had been seeing this woman for a while, she's really great, very good looking, funny, intelligent. It was our 5th date and I invited her to my house. We had a few drinks, saw some old pics, etc. She then started to touch me and kiss me in a way I knew would eventually lead to sex. When I was sure she intended to spend the night there I panicked for obvious reasons.
I told her to stop because I needed to tell her something. Then I said I had been enjoying the dates but that we weren't really fit for each other and perhaps we should stop going out together. I then showed her the door. I could see she was really surprised and disappointed and kept saying 'What did I do wrong? Do you expect me to believe it just like this?'. I told her I'm no good for her and that there are plenty of single men around who can make her happy.
I really ruined it. But I panicked seriously, I saw very embarrassing moments coming had I let things flow.
Should I try to reconnect with her? Sorry for bringing my personal drama here, but I can't speak about this with no one, for obvious reasons as well.
Jason, how do you feel about being completely honest with her? I'm reading your follow-up responses and I can't tell if your lack of sexual experience is the only reason you are avoiding female companionship. If your sexual fears also involve low self-worth, please consider cognitive-behavioral therapy counseling. Or even a sexual therapist.
Oh, please, you don't have to tell her. Who the hell cares!? It's just sex. It's nothing that you need a degree for. You think too much into this. You're a grown man. I'm sure you've watched some porn. Read things, or whatever. I don't really see how you could possibly totally screw it up. In my opinion - you can't.
Of course I've watched porn but it's not that simple in real life. I'm average looking but I think I would be embarrassed to be naked in front of a woman, I haven't got much to be proud of to be bluntly honest...
Interesting that this guy just joined city data yesterday, and here's a post about being a 41 year old virgin. Hummmm..........
I can't do nothing to make anyone believe it, sorry. Like I said before, I don't have anybody to talk about such personal issues and I came across this forum.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KittySkyfish
Jason, how do you feel about being completely honest with her? I'm reading your follow-up responses and I can't tell if your lack of sexual experience is the only reason you are avoiding female companionship. If your sexual fears also involve low self-worth, please consider cognitive-behavioral therapy counseling. Or even a sexual therapist.
I've always thought I naturally repulsed women, since my teens and university when my brother and my friends were banging everything that moved and I was focused on my studies all the time. I simply accepted nothing would happen to me in that department. So I started working more and more, barely no free time left and my social life reduced to zero.
I don't know if I've self-worth issues, I'm pretty confident in my job though.
And how do you suggest he explains his idiotic behavior in order to reverse the situation?
He said he backed out BECAUSE of this. If you had read his post, you would have known. That's what I was referring to.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JasonDavis
Of course I've watched porn but it's not that simple in real life. I'm average looking but I think I would be embarrassed to be naked in front of a woman, I haven't got much to be proud of to be bluntly honest...
Well, hit the gym... And quit being so under-confident.
I had been seeing this woman for a while, she's really great, very good looking, funny, intelligent. It was our 5th date and I invited her to my house. We had a few drinks, saw some old pics, etc. She then started to touch me and kiss me in a way I knew would eventually lead to sex. When I was sure she intended to spend the night there I panicked for obvious reasons.
I told her to stop because I needed to tell her something. Then I said I had been enjoying the dates but that we weren't really fit for each other and perhaps we should stop going out together. I then showed her the door. I could see she was really surprised and disappointed and kept saying 'What did I do wrong? Do you expect me to believe it just like this?'. I told her I'm no good for her and that there are plenty of single men around who can make her happy.
I really ruined it. But I panicked seriously, I saw very embarrassing moments coming had I let things flow.
Should I try to reconnect with her? Sorry for bringing my personal drama here, but I can't speak about this with no one, for obvious reasons as well.
I'm going to be honest with you.
You were seeing each other and when she tried to take it to the next level you freaked because you're virgin and the you showed her the door. This women took it the wrong way because she thought it was her, she even ask you that.
Clearly she cares for you are she would not have went on five dates with you. You owe it to her to tell her the truth that it's you and not her.
If you tell her the truth and explain who you are with her you might have a slight chance of making it work with someone who cares about you.
Put your insecurities on the side and think about what you did to her. I guarantee you by your post that she is think like you what did I do wrong. Good women will not come on to you if they didn't have real feelings for you.
And she might even find it a turn on that your a virgin and want to teach you a few moves.
Either way you at least owe her an explanation that it's you and not her.
All I have to say is... oral sex can make up for a lot!!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
But I panicked seriously, I saw very embarrassing moments coming had I let things flow.
