Do I need to be more upfront when I ask a girl out? (date, boyfriend)
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I'm wondering whether I should make my intentions more clear when asking a girl out, than just asking them if they want to do such and such with me - because I can't quite gauge a girls' interest level in me unless being direct.
Recently I asked 'out' a girl who I work with, and had gotten to know pretty well one day, if she would like to go roller-skating with me friday - she agreed, but I can't tell if she acquiesced just to be polite, or knowing that I work with her, wants to be friends, etc. I just don't feel comfortable enough to ask a girl out on a date who I know very little about, so I usually settle for some activity or place to meet and leave my choice of words limited to just that - and in doing so maybe give the girls the wrong idea.
The reason I ask is because a couple months back I met a girl through a charity event and she agreed to get coffee with me (her decision, as I just asked if she had any 'free time' on that day), but during the course of the conversation - which I thought went well - she mentioned how she has a boyfriend, and then said she would like to meet up again. Are my intentions not clear enough here? Why would a girl with a boyfriend agree to get coffee with a stranger male?
I'm still new to asking girls out so I haven't experienced any flat-out rejections from which to learn, so this makes me unsure of how they think about me.
Girls, would you always agree to go out with a guy that you barely know, if he was nice?
Last edited by truth to valid; 05-02-2011 at 06:22 PM..
Are my intentions not clear enough here? Why would a girl with a boyfriend agree to get coffee with a stranger male?
People have friends of the other gender. If you weren't flirting with her at all, why shouldn't she assume it's platonic?
If a girl you met asked you to go do something - but gave absolutely no indication of being at all interested in you sexually or romantically, would you automatically assume she was trying to get in your pants? No, right? She didn't either.
tl;dr yes, you do
P.S. upfront does not, however, neccesarily mean unsubtle!
People have friends of the other gender. If you weren't flirting with her at all, why shouldn't she assume it's platonic?
If a girl you met asked you to go do something - but gave absolutely no indication of being at all interested in you sexually or romantically, would you automatically assume she was trying to get in your pants? No, right? She didn't either.
tl;dr yes, you do
P.S. upfront does not, however, neccesarily mean unsubtle!
Well, in a reverse of roles, if a girl asked me if I wanted to go roller-skating with her on a friday night, I would assume she's interested in me romantically - why is that hard to see???
Well, in a reverse of roles, if a girl asked me if I wanted to go roller-skating with her on a friday night, I would assume she's interested in me romantically - why is that hard to see???
.........because it's simply not the case a lot of the time. People DO ask people of the opposite gender to do stuff because they want to hang out/be friends.
As a girl, I would appreciate it a lot if guys were more upfront and direct about their intentions. Many times I've gotten asked out so casually that I'm confused as to whether it's just a polite, friendly invite, or more of a romantic one. That puts both of us in an uncomfortable situation later on.
As a girl, I would appreciate it a lot if guys were more upfront and direct about their intentions. Many times I've gotten asked out so casually that I'm confused as to whether it's just a polite, friendly invite, or more of a romantic one. That puts both of us in an uncomfortable situation later on.
Oh well, better friends than not, right...at least the possibility for progression is there if the interest is (or becomes) mutual. In fact, I think its even better if she assumes friendship...i could use more friends anyway
the 1 time it worked it wasn't all that great. She loved it, but I have good mouth hygiene, then I walked away.
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