Can two people have sex and remain friends? (dating, married, women)

[Johnny Bananas]

I was doing research for my online course and came across this interesting article. I thought about doing a more in depth "investigation" on this.

Being friends with benefits in college I think is much different than being friends with benefits as an adult. What are your thoughts on this?

I will post my thoughts if this generates enough feedback:

Survey Finds 'Friends with Benefits' Common | LiveScience

POLL NOTE: The poll is kind of two questions so keep that in mind and hopefully this doesn't confuse anyone.

Question 1: Can two people have sex and remain friends?
Question 2: Are friends with benefits relationships healthy?

Please vote on both questions. All votes are private. Thanks!

[PassTheChocolate]

Originally Posted by Johnny Bananas

Question 1: Can two people have sex and remain friends?

Yes.

Question 2: Are friends with benefits relationships healthy?

Any relationship can be healthy with two mature, healthy people. Some people can handle it, some can't. It's not for everyone.

[Serafinez]

Q1 : It highly depends on the two people. If they are very detached and having sex for fun, then yes, sure. If one starts liking the other more on the other hand, that could lead to frustration and break the friendship.

Q2 : As long as none of them are in long term relationships and they don't hurt eachother, I don't see why it wouldn't be healthy. Specially for people who are more focused on their career, it's great, they have decently safe sex, without much responsability and they are free to spend most of their time on their interests.

[Memphis1979]

I've remained friends with several of the girls I dated, and I've had sex with girls I was friends with. I've always said I see no reason why sex has to be a relationship only thing. For me, the relationship is all of the other things, not the sex.

However, its hard to do. I was friends with a 40 year old woman earlier this year. We meet at a party that a friend of mine invited me to, and the two of them were dating.

Well Dave screwed up, and left her alone while she was very drunk. She fell in front of him, and he just walked away. He asked me to go and check on her, I don't know why. Anyway, she made a pass at me, but I just blew it off.

The next day (after we both sobered up), we hit it off as friends. We did our friend thing for a couple of months, and then one night she asked me to come over late. That night we ended up fooling around. I made it plain and known to her that this was just for fun, I had no emotional attachment to her in a relationship kind of way.

She said she was fine with that, but then it got to be, "When are you coming over?", "I need to see you.". I have a son, and she would even get upset when I stayed home with him on the weekends.

The sex had to stop, she was getting to wrapped up in it. I didn't talk to her for a month, then I shot her a few texts, and now things are back to friends again.

You've just got to be careful. Most men can compartmentalize the relationship. Women tend to get a bit more emotional about sex, which is their nature.

[ChessieMom]

My opinion is that what the article is referring to as FWB, is simply nothing more than the causal sex that has been around for 30 years. Now it's just cooler to call it "Friends with Benefits". Same ol' same ol'. One person gets off, the other usually gets their feelings hurt at some point. Doesn't matter what you call it. Nothing new here.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by ChessieMom

One person gets off, the other usually gets their feelings hurt at some point.

That's about the gist of it.

[Rakin]

Absolutely they can remain friends. If both parties recognize it's just for recreational purposes and to fulfill certain needs.

I assume you are talking about singles since many married couples are into the swinging lifestyle where the sex is purely for fun.

I do believe it depends on the mental stability of all parties.

[fleetiebelle]

I have a friend (gay male) who has absolutely no problem with the friends with benefits situation. No one's feelings are ever hurt, everyone gets off. I have rarely seen it work that way with straight people.

[gwynedd1]

Originally Posted by fleetiebelle

I have a friend (gay male) who has absolutely no problem with the friends with benefits situation. No one's feelings are ever hurt, everyone gets off. I have rarely seen it work that way with straight people.

Hi fleetiebelle,

That is the difference between typical male sexuality and female sexuality. The reason should be obvious. There are exceptions since I tend to bond but it is only an overlay from my other drives. It is a combination of not liking to hurt women with the pump and dump and my health. Otherwise I'd seek multiple women. I am not going to be having a baby after all. Some women will be exceptions as well but its not the trend. People have really bought into this blank slate nonsense that we are all the same and our organs are just slapped on at the end. The built in variability of life creates the exceptions.

Though one thing I keep in mind is how women were talked out of breast feeding. That was a truly amazing social force that suppressed that drive. Too bad it screwed up our immune systems and made some of us(FADS2 gene) stupid.

[poster]

Two friends can have sex and remain friends - two strangers can have sex and become friends (without more sex).

It can also ruin friendships - all depends on the situation and the individuals involved. I've had sex at least once with many, if not most, of my friends.