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I'm a single guy in my early 30s. Several years back, I moved to a flat in a small town near my old job. While it's a nice place, there isn't much to do socially. Most of the people that are my age here are married or they have kids. Most of my neighbors are my parents' age.
Family and relatives are nearby...but they and co-workers (who are married/older) are the only social outlet I have these days it seems. My current job requires long hours (including the 2 hours of driving I do each day) so I really only have time to get out on the weekends.
I'd like to meet some like minded people my own age to go and do things with (outdoor stuff, festivals, concerts, ballgames, BBQ, etc). I've hit it off with plenty of women online but they are usually 90 minuts to 2 hours away which is an issue along with work schedules when it comes to meeting.
I can't seem to break out of this rut with my normal routine. Do I need to move to a big city in order to get the social life I'm looking for? In order to do so, I'd have to switch jobs which I'm hesitant to do in this economy...and I'm not sure I'd enjoy living inside the city even though it is fun to visit. The other alternative is to move closer to work which would move me closer to the city. Any ideas?
Last edited by therock2814; 06-07-2011 at 02:47 AM..
Well, it seems you might have to go into the city on the weekends. Maybe sign up for some classes in the city for Saturday and Sunday. Meet new people and exchange numbers or e-mails and see each other on weekends, which most friends do anyways.
Well, it seems you might have to go into the city on the weekends. Maybe sign up for some classes in the city for Saturday and Sunday. Meet new people and exchange numbers or e-mails and see each other on weekends, which most friends do anyways.
Are you referring to university classes or classes like yoga and that sort of thing? Are classes offered on weekends? It seems like most classes are offered during the week but I might be looking in the wrong places.The main issue with this is that I commute 5 days a week as it is and this would be even a longer commute on my days off. OTOH I could move but would have to sell or rent out my flat....but I'd hate to sell in a bad economy.
Do that. Seriously, driving two hours to work is insane. Get yourself closer to the city and away from the bedroom communities.
It's close to an hour each way....there's no way I'd do two hours each way lol.I have the option of moving to the city but the cost of living is kinda high and I'd probably have to switch jobs to pull it off which I don't really want to do in this economy.I can move down the road to work which would put me within 30 min of the city. It's not the best area though. The other alternative is moving within 30 min of work and 45 min from the city. Not as close but a nicer area.What should I do about the flat that I'm in? I'd hate to sell in this economy...should I just rent it out and rent a place closer to the city?
If you've tried living in the current place for a few years now and you're not happy, then yes, I think you need to move. The second location you mentioned (30 minutes from work and 45 from the city) seems like a good compromise. You could meet more girls from the city and have more of a life.
If you've tried living in the current place for a few years now and you're not happy, then yes, I think you need to move. The second location you mentioned (30 minutes from work and 45 from the city) seems like a good compromise. You could meet more girls from the city and have more of a life.
Thanks for responding. It's not that I'm unhappy with where I'm at but it would be nice to have more of a social life outside the family and work. I think I'm going to seriously consider moving. Can't really think of a way to make it work if I stay. It's difficult to meet someone at a coffee shop on a weekend afternoon when you have to drive 90 minutes to get there.
It's close to an hour each way....there's no way I'd do two hours each way lol.I have the option of moving to the city but the cost of living is kinda high and I'd probably have to switch jobs to pull it off which I don't really want to do in this economy.I can move down the road to work which would put me within 30 min of the city. It's not the best area though. The other alternative is moving within 30 min of work and 45 min from the city. Not as close but a nicer area.What should I do about the flat that I'm in? I'd hate to sell in this economy...should I just rent it out and rent a place closer to the city?
sounds like a good idea
rent out the flat, and rent another place closer. Try it for 6 months if you can
Some good advice has been given. As far as getting yourself out of a rut, it is about disciplining yourself too see things from a different point-of-view.
Routines, or living life, should be about making you happy or at least happy to do the things that will eventually get you to your goals.
If you feel like your routine is not working but don't know how to get out of it, it could mean that you don't see risk on both sides. You only see risk when you have to make changes but you don't see risk in doing the same thing over and over which is not getting you to your goals.
I agree with the others who recommend moving closer to the city. Try it for a year and see how it goes. If you keep your flat and rent it out you can always move back once your lease expires. Just be prepared for a worst case scenario, like being able to afford the flat in the event a tenant doesn't work out and it stays empty for awhile.
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