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I am asking a really important question because I have a feeling if I take this path my life will change but in a positive way. I also do not know if its a question or that I need some pointers.First I am a white male in my late twenties. I was born in a majority white town and went to a majority white high school. Then I graduate d and went to an Ivy League university.I got my degree and started working last year it is an excellent well paying career and the job I took is hundreds of miles from where I am from .I like all music except country and I am active in soccer,hiking and tennis.Well ok when,I started this new job I started working with this black woman alot. She is dark skinned,skin looks amazing,smooth,she has dark brown eyes and these shoulder length dreadlocks that are nice on her that smell so good like honey and spice(i have smelled her hair while she has been turned the other way if itvwas wrong shoot me I was curious).Her build is like an hourglass but her backside is more bigger than any I have contemplated to be with I have dated only white women and an asian woman.We have worked together for over a year .Well she brightens my day,she is funny,truthful,intelligent and beautiful. She has the same degree as me in our field.She told me she went to a black university which I never really knew of any til she showed me .We have taken breaks together we talk about alot different things like politics,religion art and life..Since I have been working with her getting to know her I have become more attractive to black women.I have learned nore abouy black culture.Wr come from way different backgrounds I was born in upper-middl class northern society and shes from blue collar class southern society.I have gotten her to experience thongs she said she never had before like I invited her to a camping/hiking trip and I know she was hesistant at first but after showing her the area and the plan she decided to go and she said it was different but she loved it. She met my brother and two of my friens on the trip ,they were didnt think she would be blackthat is one thing. But my bro said he supports me if I wanted to date ,which was coming to realization that now want to date her but Ii am really afraid of what my family will say. I know my ma has said some crap about jesse jackson and al sharpton. But nothing really against blacks as a whole I want to marry this woman she is such a prize to me but also she has a child who is four and she is about two years older .I want some pointers I asked my bro about asking her out which I am not completely sure she would say hes we having always been saying we are friends but can we take it further I wonder My mother may not like that she has a son which I have met him when they have company gatherings.I would ask a friend who is black but I think he migjt think its silly, like I am a dummy for asking and I dont know what het social group would think she said her fathet is stern and ex military my dad is dorky I always say. I did not put much info about me or her because If she found out what would she think of me asking the worlwide web about dating a black woman so suggestions and pointets are good.One more thing she has this confidence I love also and she loves Ledisi ,and got me liking neosoul I introducef hr to 80s rock.
Last edited by Bo; 10-08-2011 at 04:22 PM..
Reason: moved from general us
I am asking a really important question because I have a feeling if I take this path my life will change but in a positive way. I also do not know if its a question or that I need some pointers.First I am a white male in my late twenties. I was born in a majority white town and went to a majority white high school. Then I graduate d and went to an Ivy League university.I got my degree and started working last year it is an excellent well paying career and the job I took is hundreds of miles from where I am from .I like all music except country and I am active in soccer,hiking and tennis.Well ok when,I started this new job I started working with this black woman alot. She is dark skinned,skin looks amazing,smooth,she has dark brown eyes and these shoulder length dreadlocks that are nice on her that smell so good like honey and spice(i have smelled her hair while she has been turned the other way if itvwas wrong shoot me I was curious).Her build is like an hourglass but her backside is more bigger than any I have contemplated to be with I have dated only white women and an asian woman.We have worked together for over a year .Well she brightens my day,she is funny,truthful,intelligent and beautiful. She has the same degree as me in our field.She told me she went to a black university which I never really knew of any til she showed me .We have taken breaks together we talk about alot different things like politics,religion art and life..Since I have been working with her getting to know her I have become more attractive to black women.I have learned nore abouy black culture.Wr come from way different backgrounds I was born in upper-middl class northern society and shes from blue collar class southern society.I have gotten her to experience thongs she said she never had before like I invited her to a camping/hiking trip and I know she was hesistant at first but after showing her the area and the plan she decided to go and she said it was different but she loved it. She met my brother and two of my friens on the trip ,they were didnt think she would be blackthat is one thing. But my bro said he supports me if I wanted to date ,which was coming to realization that now want to date her but Ii am really afraid of what my family will say. I know my ma has said some crap about jesse jackson and al sharpton. But nothing really against blacks as a whole I want to marry this woman she is such a prize to me but also she has a child who is four and she is about two years older .I want some pointers I asked my bro about asking her out which I am not completely sure she would say hes we having always been saying we are friends but can we take it further I wonder My mother may not like that she has a son which I have met him when they have company gatherings.I would ask a friend who is black but I think he migjt think its silly, like I am a dummy for asking and I dont know what het social group would think she said her fathet is stern and ex military my dad is dorky I always say. I did not put much info about me or her because If she found out what would she think of me asking the worlwide web about dating a black woman so suggestions and pointets are good.One more thing she has this confidence I love also and she loves Ledisi ,and got me liking neosoul I introducef hr to 80s rock.
Slow down champion....how long have you known this girl? Her race shouldnt matter, but how does she behave? Is she well mannered? What kind of home does she come from? Does she talk bad about her family and friends?? If all those fronts are fine I say date her until she pressures you to marry...she is black so she will pressure you to marry IF she likes you. Be patient.
Slow down champion....how long have you known this girl? Her race shouldnt matter, but how does she behave? Is she well mannered? What kind of home does she come from? Does she talk bad about her family and friends?? If all those fronts are fine I say date her until she pressures you to marry...she is black so she will pressure you to marry IF she likes you. Be patient.
I say go for it. Don't worry about anybody else because this is your life and you shouldn't ignore a connection you have with someone who could end up making you really happy. I have pretty dreads too and I've noticed that white men love em - LOL
And as for the comment about pressuring you to marry cuz she's black - please ignore ridiculous stereotypes like this. As a black woman, that is just stupid. A woman pressuring a man to marry has nothing to do with race.
And she is a christian a baptist. She was raised by both of her parents and I can tell she values her fathers opinion in her life. She does have siblings and they are both college educated and she never talks bad about her family to me.
And she is a christian a baptist. She was raised by both of her parents and I can tell she values her fathers opinion in her life. She does have siblings and they are both college educated and she never talks bad about her family to me.
Sounds to me like she is a keeper right NOW, sounds well behaved and well mannered. I say date her, but slow down on the marriage stuff. Enjoy her, let her enjoy you and see how it goes.
Funny how many of the responses here focus on your writing rather than addressing the issue that you posed. I'll give it a shot though.
I think that you should stop looking at this woman as a black woman and start looking at her as an incredible woman who happens to be black. You are not superior to her in any way. You are not doing her any favors. Like most such women, she's likely to be someone of incredible depth. She sounds like a prize, no question.
But what you have to ask yourself is if you are comfortable being with such a woman in an interracial relationship. What your family thinks shouldn't be as important as what you think is right. Being associated with this woman as husband and wife, for the rest of your time together, you will have to be cognizant of the issues that impact black people. This includes the racism that blacks must deal with every day, not just from people who look like you, but from asians, indians, and latinos. Even within the black race, there are people who have problems with interracial couples. Are you prepared for this? Most likely, she's versatile enough to exist in your world. But are you versatile enough to exist in hers? Just a thought.
She's got a big butt, which could get even bigger if she has more kids. Ready for that? Imagine her gaining about 40-50 lbs. Still your ideal? She also has a kid. Is this a problem for you? You are also seeing the best side of her. Wonder what the other side is like? Could be scary, but maybe not. So much to ponder.
If you really want her, for God's sake, be open, honest, candid, and upfront with your intentions. IMO, better to talk directly to her rather than coming to an anonymous message board to try to resolve these issues within yourself.
I agree with A_Lexus...except for the weight gain comment. Lots of women gain weight as they get older, regardless of race. You will have to think about the cross cultural issues if you want to get serious with her. If you're both open and willing to try, I don't think it'll be a huge problem. Good luck!
Not all dreads are looking Bob Marley-ish these days. A lot of folks keep them very well-groomed and have a more mainstream look. I work on Capitol Hill and I get complimented on my hair all the time by the other staffers and some legislators.
I say go for it. Don't worry about anybody else because this is your life and you shouldn't ignore a connection you have with someone who could end up making you really happy. I have pretty dreads too and I've noticed that white men love em - LOL
And as for the comment about pressuring you to marry cuz she's black - please ignore ridiculous stereotypes like this. As a black woman, that is just stupid. A woman pressuring a man to marry has nothing to do with race.
DO IT!!!
Agreed, agreed, agreed.
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Imagine her gaining about 40-50 lbs. Still your ideal? She also has a kid. Is this a problem for you? You are also seeing the best side of her. Wonder what the other side is like? Could be scary, but maybe not. So much to ponder.