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Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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How much to you listen to what they have to say about a potential date? Do they ever encourage you to go out with so and so, or not to go out with a guy, if so how much do you listen to them? Is the advice usually sound, or sort of shallow, bitchy, critical...Do alot of women discourage a friend from dating a man on the basis of superficial things like height, financial situation, ethnicity, race? Or is it mostly things to do with the person himself?
Zip, never have. Most of the time, my friends don't even MEET whomever I'm dating until we're serious, and by that point, I don't really NEED them to weigh in. It's cool if they like one another, but it's not really critical.
My family's opinion does carry some weight. But my friends? Nah.
the best way to get along in life without any regrets is to make your own decisions - for better or worse you made the decision and have no one to blame or praise except yourself
How much to you listen to what they have to say about a potential date?
None at all. I'm extremely bullheaded in this respect. No one is convincing me of anything, if I'm diving in, I'm diving in...if I'm ditching, I'm ditching. I respect my girlies' opinions, but they aren't living my life.
My friends have never had any influence over my choice in men. I found out after the fact that they all thought my ex-fiance was totally wrong for me - but they never said a thing until after I called off the wedding.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,029,399 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
My friends have never had any influence over my choice in men. I found out after the fact that they all thought my ex-fiance was totally wrong for me - but they never said a thing until after I called off the wedding.
Conversely if friends really do know something geniunely bad about a date/partner, they should say so, in honest objective language, as soon as possible.
More than you think. While the responses here seem warm and positive, I'm willing to bet they're not entirely truthful. I have seen numerous instances where a woman was interested and once her girlfriends said one bad thing about him, she didn't continue with him. This is very common in their teens and 20s. With some, it continues even in their 30s.
How much to you listen to what they have to say about a potential date? Do they ever encourage you to go out with so and so, or not to go out with a guy, if so how much do you listen to them? Is the advice usually sound, or sort of shallow, bitchy, critical...Do alot of women discourage a friend from dating a man on the basis of superficial things like height, financial situation, ethnicity, race? Or is it mostly things to do with the person himself?
No, a lot of time it's their religion background. I appreciate their concerns, but they have no saying in who I can date. If they are right and I am wrong and stubborn, I just need to learn from my lesson. I will only take their advice if they do not come off as "Bible-thumpers" and judgmental about my ideology of relationship. I told one of my closes friend that I would rather pick a non-religious (Atheist) guy who respects me and gets along with me than a Christian guy who doesn't. My friend quickly went into the Bible and said this and that. I withdrew from her and ignored her advice because to me she didn't even bother to discern and understand where I was coming from.
I am a private person, so I tend not to tell people who I like and who I am dating unless it gets serious.
No, a lot of time it's their religion background. I appreciate their concerns, but they have no saying in who I can date. If they are right and I am wrong and stubborn, I just need to learn from my lesson. I will only take their advice if they do not come off as "Bible-thumpers" and judgmental about my ideology of relationship. I told one of my closes friend that I would rather pick a non-religious (Atheist) guy who respects me and gets along with me than a Christian guy who doesn't. My friend quickly went into the Bible and said this and that. I withdrew from her and ignored her advice because to me she didn't even bother to discern and understand where I was coming from.
I am a private person, so I tend not to tell people who I like and who I am dating unless it gets serious.
I can agree with you on this point. My bf and I are of different faiths and my friends are ones that believe you should have the same faith. I just don't tell them my business! Besides, I'm too old...mid 30s....yeah, I know me by now!
I can agree with you on this point. My bf and I are of different faiths and my friends are ones that believe you should have the same faith. I just don't tell them my business! Besides, I'm too old...mid 30s....yeah, I know me by now!
It's important to have the same faith, but I believe that if you know what you are doing and expect from this relationship, whatever. I asked my "mother and father" figure what they think of interfaith relationship, and most of them said "be careful if you do get into a relationship" but none of them stopped me and said "you are wrong, wrong, wrong!". And they're much older and wiser than my friends anyway.
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