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Old 03-04-2012, 01:58 PM
 
Location: New Albany, Indiana (Greater Louisville)
11,974 posts, read 25,486,476 times
Reputation: 12187

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Anyone here in a relationship with someone who is of a very different political/ world view?

My fiance and I share a lot of common beliefs and values but our political and world views are very different. My fiance is your typical ultra conservative Cincinnati Republican. The only two polical issues she thinks a Christian should care about are (anti) abortion and (anti) gay marriage. She is anti recycling. I actually have to smuggle out plastic bottles so I can recycle them without getting a guilt trip She hates humanism and thinks that poor people around the world need to "get over it". She quite literally thinks Obama is an anti Christ.

I am fairly conservative on social issues but am otherwise quite liberal. I consciously reduce my consumption of goods to reduce my impact on the environment (limit meat intake, only buy used clothes), try to read lots of foreign news sources to be knowledgible about the rest of the world and not be the stereotypical "Ugly American".

My fiance has no idea I hold those views!! How will this stuff effect our marriage which is coming up this fall??
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Old 03-04-2012, 02:17 PM
 
9,408 posts, read 13,744,394 times
Reputation: 20395
I could never live with someone like your fiancee. Her views are diametrically opposed to mine. Do you want your future kids to be brainwashed by her ultra conservative bigotry?
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Old 03-04-2012, 02:18 PM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,616 posts, read 84,857,016 times
Reputation: 115172
Quote:
Originally Posted by censusdata View Post
Anyone here in a relationship with someone who is of a very different political/ world view?

My fiance and I share a lot of common beliefs and values but our political and world views are very different. My fiance is your typical ultra conservative Cincinnati Republican. The only two polical issues she thinks a Christian should care about are (anti) abortion and (anti) gay marriage. She is anti recycling. I actually have to smuggle out plastic bottles so I can recycle them without getting a guilt trip She hates humanism and thinks that poor people around the world need to "get over it". She quite literally thinks Obama is an anti Christ.

I am fairly conservative on social issues but am otherwise quite liberal. I consciously reduce my consumption of goods to reduce my impact on the environment (limit meat intake, only buy used clothes), try to read lots of foreign news sources to be knowledgible about the rest of the world and not be the stereotypical "Ugly American".

My fiance has no idea I hold those views!! How will this stuff effect our marriage which is coming up this fall??
Not sure, but it sounds as if it will be interesting. Do keep us posted when the birdies and butterflies are gone and reality takes up residence in your home.
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Old 03-04-2012, 02:25 PM
 
12,997 posts, read 13,650,642 times
Reputation: 11192
Republican women always seem particularly vicious and nasty to me. Is she a nice person? It's hard to imagine with those views, but I get how political and religious beliefs are socially conditioned. Perhaps it's possible to be a nice person and a Republican if you grow up in the midwest.
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Old 03-04-2012, 02:33 PM
 
Location: Gila County Arizona
990 posts, read 2,558,600 times
Reputation: 2420
Quote:
Originally Posted by WestCobb View Post
Republican women always seem particularly vicious and nasty to me. Is she a nice person? It's hard to imagine with those views, but I get how political and religious beliefs are socially conditioned. Perhaps it's possible to be a nice person and a Republican if you grow up in the midwest.
Perhaps you ca help us and explain your views of "people of color", maybe Asians...

Do all Irish still drink to excess, and beat their wives?

In short you denigrate a person for having a set of political view and then add you own bias to the mix.

I don't get it.
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Old 03-04-2012, 02:35 PM
 
Location: California
6,421 posts, read 7,672,937 times
Reputation: 13965
The sparks will fly but if you really care for her, you will work it out. My husband and I also have very different views so I just refuse to talk to him about some political issues. No one will be a perfect match in all areas so negotiation is valuable skill. But, you didn't say how old you two are, which could make a difference. The older you both are the closer together you will grow. When I was in my twenties I was very close to my church, but now Im agnostic as I see the motivation behind some of their rules. In a marriage, it means respecting the other person's point of view knowing that with the passage of time the rough edges will smooth out. Also, please don't start your marriage with holding back things you need to discuss and negotiate.

It is important to distinguish between values and needs. If someone is murderer that would offend my values where as getting her agree with having recycle bin outside is satisfying a need to care for your community. I agree with her regarding nObama but not about birth control and everyone's right to marriage (I was born in Ohio and now live in CA) so there are some areas I couldn't talk to her about even as a friend.

Relationships are tough but if she is worth it then go for it. Look at the total relationship and weigh what is really important. Honesty and integrity are far more important than politics.

I don't feel this thread is about race baiting so let's keep on topic.

Best of luck to both of you and keep us posted.
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Old 03-04-2012, 02:36 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,126 posts, read 10,112,026 times
Reputation: 11797
I think it can work if both people are respectful and agree to disagree perhaps. But I couldn't marry someone with the views you just described. Someone who thinks poor people just need to "get over it" isn't the kind of person I'd want to be with. Where is her compassion? And it's fine for someone to disagree with Obama's, but he's hardly the anti-Christ.
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Old 03-04-2012, 02:39 PM
 
581 posts, read 1,244,535 times
Reputation: 342
This new phenomenon that we (mankind) is destroying the earth is pure nonsense.

Do people really believe the creator didn't implement everything the way it is?

Why do we feel we need to save the earth? Save it from what?

if the creator didnt intend it to happen, it will not happen. Has anyone ever died and came back to life to tell us what death is like?

LOL Sorry OP i went off topic.
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Old 03-04-2012, 02:41 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,534 posts, read 34,882,911 times
Reputation: 73808
What's most bothersome is you are engaged and she has no idea how you think, you sneak (recycling of all things), and she doesn't seem to respect what she does know.

I knew a couple who both deeply involved in politics, one a republican and one a democrat. It worked for them, they left any discussion of work at work.
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Old 03-04-2012, 02:41 PM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,391 posts, read 30,942,753 times
Reputation: 16643
It would NEVER work with me. But that's just me
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