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I've been talking to a guy online from OkCupid. He's moving to my area from the west coast, so he contacted me while he was here interviewing. I was too sick to meet him, but we've been emailing and chatting online almost daily since our initial contact. We are also friends on Facebook, but I've always thought it was his secondary page because no one it seems to have a long-term connection with him and there are no real identifying factors, like all the places he attended for college and med school.
I had some suspicions about him, so I've been Googling up a storm and found that his name is different from what he's told me. The last name is the same and the first letter of the phony name is the same as his real name. And he has another FB page that has all the identifying factors, which I was able to find through a lot of searching.
The thing is, he has a long medical history, which he's told me about and it's all over the internet through his activism with his real name. So I can see why he wouldn't want people to just find him online. He's also a doctor, so if any upset girls want to trash him online, they could. So I can see that too. But I feel it's been incredibly deceptive to spend so much time talking to me the past 2 weeks and tell me where his new home is located (and I've confirmed it's his property, so he's not lying about that) and not tell me his real name! What do you all think? I think I have to confront him and end it.
Just a thought: sometimes people go by other names than thier given name..For example my neighbor of 20+ webt by Jerry to EVERYONE -- and I recently found out unfortuantley at his funeral , that his real name is Paul. I founds at least 6 other people with the same dealings..
I have never done anythign with the online dating scene. So, I do assume you have to be somewhat cautious of what you are getting into.. However, it seems that you have a "feeling" this guy is off or you wouldn't be doing as much research.
He does have a nickname that differs from the name he's using with me. I found it on myspace, and it's an old account.
I should have mentioned that I also found that he's not an MD as listed on his email address, but a DO. He also practices in a different specialty than he told me. Google is an amazing thing if you know what to look for! I want to give him the benefit of the doubt that he wanted to protect his privacy, but he has my real email and real FB to access, so I've been open.
We are also friends on Facebook, but I've always thought it was his secondary page because no one it seems to have a long-term connection with him and there are no real identifying factors, like all
the places he attended for college and med school.
"Secondary" FB page is another word for "fake."
Thank your lucky stars that you were smart enough to follow up, and move on to a guy who won't have so many "discrepancies" in his history.
Guys would be more forthcoming with their real identities if it weren't for Magnum PI's like you who put in a 40-hour week researching our backgrounds before a simple coffee date.
You've never even met this guy, you have no idea if you will even mesh with him in real life, yet you're "Googling up a storm" like a college kid who waited until the last minute to start his term paper. To me that is creepy.
My parents didn't have Google during their dating years and I've never heard of any of their contemporaries ending up with their severed limbs in some creep's freezer. What a paranoid society this has become.
Here's an idea. Meet the guy in real life and confirm you actually LIKE him before you go all crazy with the background investigations. If something is a little off, first ASK him about whatever is bothering you and if you aren't satisfied with the response, THEN dig a little until your suspicions are confirmed or repudiated.
What if you get together with him and he's 50 pounds heavier than his pictures, has bad breath, and his tool is the size of an underdeveloped 12-year-old? Won't you feel stupid for having spent all this time researching his past?
Maybe I'm misunderstanding something. Did you only meet online two weeks ago? If so, it sounds like he's simply trying to protect his name/reputation/livelihood until he meets you and knows he can trust you. I don't think there's much difference between an MD and a DO -- again, just a little something to protect his identity from crazy people. I used to do a bit of the same thing, simply to protect myself from the crazies.
Guys would be more forthcoming with their real identities if it weren't for Magnum PI's like you who put in a 40-hour week researching our backgrounds before a simple coffee date.
You've never even met this guy, you have no idea if you will even mesh with him in real life, yet you're "Googling up a storm" like a college kid who waited until the last minute to start his term paper. To me that is creepy.
My parents didn't have Google during their dating years and I've never heard of any of their contemporaries ending up with their severed limbs in some creep's freezer. What a paranoid society this has become.
Here's an idea. Meet the guy in real life and confirm you actually LIKE him before you go all crazy with the background investigations. If something is a little off, first ASK him about whatever is bothering you and if you aren't satisfied with the response, THEN dig a little until your suspicions are confirmed or repudiated.
What if you get together with him and he's 50 pounds heavier than his pictures, has bad breath, and his tool is the size of an underdeveloped 12-year-old? Won't you feel stupid for having spent all this time researching his past?
Agreed. You have not even had one date yet. it's overkill. Meet him (Safely) and see what he is like. You may not like what you see and experience and then it's a moot point. It's understandable to be curious but often we look for things and assume with out having the most important things: The facts, And the individual.
Katykat01...I agree with WyoNewk....I also think forming an opinion on a man you've never met could be presumptuous at best...why not at least meet the man...and form your opinions then?
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