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You should seriously consider a high quality online dating service. I know, for example, two professional, attractive people who found the perfect match and married them. They used eharmony.
I think the OP should evaluate whether she wants a husband or baby more, because if she adopts now her chances of finding a husband will be slimmer. Not eliminated, though. Husband, then baby (and possibly adopting) is more feasible than baby, then husband--if she really wants a husband.
Looks like you dun goofed. A 34 year old woman really isn't that appealing to the kind of guy you want, to be perfectly honest.
Oh? And you speak for all men?
Amazing that you know what "kind of guy " the original poster wants....she sure didn't say!
Why do you always post baseless words?
If your screen name is an indication of your location, you're in Alexandria, VA. I lived in the D.C. area for 20+ years. I separated and got divorced when I was a few years older than you are, and I had no problem meeting good men. At least half of them met your description, and the rest were either divorced or didn't have a graduate degree. The biggest challenge was finding someone with enough downtime to devote to a relationship, actually. Men in that area, like women in that area, can be very hard-charging with their careers and with filling up their schedules with travel and other activities.
Given the huge number of men there who fit your demographic preferences, I'd hazard a guess that there's something else going on--maybe you're new to the area, you're shy, you don't get out much, you work long hours, you're overly picky, you're not as hot as you think you are, whatever. Could be anything either innocuous and not your fault or negative and something you need to work on within yourself. We have no way of knowing.
However, I would suggest that if you are looking for men between 30 and 38, you might want to reconsider the "never married" requirement, toward the upper end of the range. You might also want to consider expanding your range to 28 to 40. And honestly? I'm not sure why a graduate degree is a requirement. You'll find plenty of men in that area have one, but there are also many, many men who have Bachelor's who are just fine in their professions.
Why is it "imperative" that you find Mr. Right soon? You still have plenty of time to have kids.
You're correct! I am in the DC metro area, and I work long hours usually, but I'm in the process of revamping my schedule, to ensure that I have time for social activities. Other than my current work schedule, my biggest problem is, I am a bit shy around men, since I do not have vast experience dating.
I do not think it has anything to do with my looks. I am not stating that I'm a perfect 10, but I'm often told that I'm cute, so perhaps I'm closer to the 7/8 range. Anyhow, I have a lot of great attributes that in truth, many other single women in this area, do not seem to have. For starters, I'm not promiscuous and I live a relatively drama/stress free lifestyle. Also, I'm not in need of a guy's monetary support, since I make more or just as much as many of the professional men in the D.C. metro area.
I do however require that the guy be a professional and have a similar income level. That's highly important to me, along with the other things mentioned in my original post. I am not being too picky, because again, I'm not asking for anything that I do not have.
Last edited by AppleSpice22304; 05-16-2012 at 01:28 PM..
this reminds me of a conversation I had with an 11 year old girl I work with at the Y. She was telling me all the things she wants her future boyfriend to have. I said "now don't make that list too long..you'll just wind up limiting yourself" and she goes "ya ok..."...I really hope she gets it, lol.
Either way, I've never understood "lists"...I get deal breakers though. my mom was the OP's age when she married my dad and she told me that they married within a year of knowing each other and that she almost ran away on her wedding day. I'm guessing she didn't because she wanted kids. I grew up in a home that was the result of my mother's clock ticking...it wasn't awful..but I have no idea what a loving marriage looks like, other than what I see from my friends parents. my point is, I think marriage should be based on love (but what do I know?), not some mythological desire for children.
Also, I have to wonder, if I'm in my mid 20's and already can't meet men who have never been married and quite a few who have children, I don't see it getting better into the 30's and beyond. I've already accepted the idea that I might have to be a stepmom someday (not really waht I want, but if I love the man enough, I'll deal with it). so it just blows my mind taht a woman in her 30's expects to meet never married men with no children...weird. I know I wouldn't be expecting that.
eH: What would you say to someone who is single but wanting a relationship and having a rough time finding someone. What is their best course of action?
WD: Whatever it is that I want from a relationship, I would say, “Be that.” If what you are looking for in a relationship with another person is an exquisite sense of love, then be that. Extend that out. I think what I learned from St. Germain when he talked about the miser’s love for gold is that it isn’t from gold that you get love, it is the outpouring of love toward it. It isn’t in a Mercedes that you are going to find great happiness. It is in the feeling that you have about it; the outpouring of love for it. The same is true in a relationship.
Somebody else coming into your life isn’t going to give you what you feel is missing. What I would urge you to do is be in a constant state of love for everything and everyone. Put your attention on being that and staying in that incredible state of joy, peace and not thinking that you are incomplete. Somehow people who are searching for something, relationships especially, think that that is going to complete them. If you already feel you are complete, the universe has an incredible way of offering you what it is you are already living.
I have often said, “You do not attract into your life what you want. You attract what you are.” If you are coming from a complete state of loving everything and everyone you encounter, you will find people showing up in your life who will want to relate to you in a closer way.
I do however require that the guy be a professional and have a similar income level. That's highly important to me, along with the other things mentioned in my original post. I am not being too picky, because again, I'm not asking for anything that I do not have.
You're correct! I am in the DC metro area, and I work long hours usually, but I'm in the process of revamping my schedule, to ensure that I have time for social activities. Other than my current work schedule, my biggest problem is, I am a bit shy around men, since I do not have vast experience dating.
I do not think it has anything to do with my looks. I am not stating that I'm a perfect 10, but I'm often told that I'm cute, so perhaps I'm closer to the 7/8 range. Anyhow, I have a lot of great attributes that in truth, many other single women (in this area, do not seem to have). For starters, I'm not promiscuous and I live a relatively drama/stress free lifestyle. Also, I'm not in need of a guy's monetary support, since I make more or just as much as many of the professional men in the D.C. metro area.
I do however require that the guy be a professional and have a similar income level. That's highly important to me, along with the other things mentioned in my original post. I am not being too picky, because again, I'm not asking for anything that I do not have.
I'm trying to understand why, if you make such a good living..why does a guy have to make the same as you? why not a professional man who just happens to make a little less but still has a good living? I guess I don't think these requirements are going to equal chemistry..which is a really funny thing.
Lets be realistic, most men in their thirties who haven't been married or have kids are likely:
A.) Introverted/Socially Awkward or better yet virgins
B.) Work or school driven (work-aholics) probably dont want a family
C.) Probably not the monogamous type (player)-probably dont want a family either
D.) May have some mental health/drug addiction problems
E.) They are hot and chase the younger chicks (20-somethings-not 34-somethings that "look" 20 something)
There are a few, but I am assuming most nice/decent-relationship/family minded drug free/STD free/attractive/successful guys in their thirties have probably already been caught, been married before or had children. Why wouldn't someone scoop them up?!?
Based on the feedback that I'm receiving from City-Data posters, age seems to be a big issue for men. Seriously, I'm thinking about telling guys that I'm 26, instead of my actual age.
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Oh? And you speak for all men?
