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My boyfriend and I have been together 10 months total. The last 4 months have been long distance because he found a good job in another state and left. I have stayed behind for now, but before he left he did talk of me moving there and 2 months ago when I went to visit him he kept telling me to get a one way ticket and stay there.
The last 2 weeks he has been distant and not wanting to talk to me. He is trying to buy a house, and he started the paper work with the bank for the mortgage and that is when he did a total 180. 2 weeks ago when I talked to him he said he was not happy with the bank and it is draining. I told him I felt like I was bugging him, and he said nah I just haven't been in the best mood. A few days after that I got a hold of him again, and he said I decided to say f it and drink tonight (he rarely does). He complained a little about the bank and said he is starting to not even care. I said I've never seen you like this and he just said sorry I'm going to finish my drink and go to bed and he wouldn't talk more after that.
Sunday night, which is the last time I talked to him, he said he still waiting to hear from the bank. I asked how he's been and he said hanging in. I got nervous and asked if everything was ok with us, he just said I've just been really down, not yes or no to that question. I asked it what was wrong and he said everythings just piling in on him at once. I ended it with I'm here for you if you need to talk and if you want to be left alone, its ok. He said thanks and I have not heard from him since.
Does this sound like he is going to break up with me, or just the stress from buying the house and everything? He works 40 hours also, as well as I. I have never bought a house, so I don't know if its really that bad,
My boyfriend and I have been together 10 months total. The last 4 months have been long distance because he found a good job in another state and left. I have stayed behind for now, but before he left he did talk of me moving there and 2 months ago when I went to visit him he kept telling me to get a one way ticket and stay there.
The last 2 weeks he has been distant and not wanting to talk to me. He is trying to buy a house, and he started the paper work with the bank for the mortgage and that is when he did a total 180. 2 weeks ago when I talked to him he said he was not happy with the bank and it is draining. I told him I felt like I was bugging him, and he said nah I just haven't been in the best mood. A few days after that I got a hold of him again, and he said I decided to say f it and drink tonight (he rarely does). He complained a little about the bank and said he is starting to not even care. I said I've never seen you like this and he just said sorry I'm going to finish my drink and go to bed and he wouldn't talk more after that.
Sunday night, which is the last time I talked to him, he said he still waiting to hear from the bank. I asked how he's been and he said hanging in. I got nervous and asked if everything was ok with us, he just said I've just been really down, not yes or no to that question. I asked it what was wrong and he said everythings just piling in on him at once. I ended it with I'm here for you if you need to talk and if you want to be left alone, its ok. He said thanks and I have not heard from him since.
Does this sound like he is going to break up with me, or just the stress from buying the house and everything? He works 40 hours also, as well as I. I have never bought a house, so I don't know if its really that bad,
Thanks everyone
Buying a house as a first time buyer isn't really that stressful once you have loan approval. Selling a house is another matter!
I think you should trust your gut. There may indeed be something else going on. How well do you really knowe your BF after 10 months of dating? Faking depression is a good way to withdraw from communication without arousing too much suspicion. It will be hard but why don't you give him some space and see what happens next.
Planning on such a big move after only 10 months of dating is a bit quick in my opinion. I personally would wait and see what happens before I uproot my entire life for a guy. Actually I probably would not uproot my entire life for a guy. If it is meant to be it will work out eventually otherwise cut him loose and find someone local or wherever it is you want to be in the future that is the best place for you.
Buying a house can be stressful. It brings up a lot of issues, like.."Wow, i am a "grown up" now."It is a big change and commitment. Just ride it out. If things continue to be tense, just ask him if something is going on...
My boyfriend and I have been together 10 months total. The last 4 months have been long distance because he found a good job in another state and left. I have stayed behind for now, but before he left he did talk of me moving there and 2 months ago when I went to visit him he kept telling me to get a one way ticket and stay there.
The last 2 weeks he has been distant and not wanting to talk to me. He is trying to buy a house, and he started the paper work with the bank for the mortgage and that is when he did a total 180. 2 weeks ago when I talked to him he said he was not happy with the bank and it is draining. I told him I felt like I was bugging him, and he said nah I just haven't been in the best mood. A few days after that I got a hold of him again, and he said I decided to say f it and drink tonight (he rarely does). He complained a little about the bank and said he is starting to not even care. I said I've never seen you like this and he just said sorry I'm going to finish my drink and go to bed and he wouldn't talk more after that.
Sunday night, which is the last time I talked to him, he said he still waiting to hear from the bank. I asked how he's been and he said hanging in. I got nervous and asked if everything was ok with us, he just said I've just been really down, not yes or no to that question. I asked it what was wrong and he said everythings just piling in on him at once. I ended it with I'm here for you if you need to talk and if you want to be left alone, its ok. He said thanks and I have not heard from him since.
Does this sound like he is going to break up with me, or just the stress from buying the house and everything? He works 40 hours also, as well as I. I have never bought a house, so I don't know if its really that bad,
Thanks everyone
You did everything right. I will rep you after this.
Moving to another state, taking on a new job AND buying a house is huge!! Lot of enviromental changes and it sounds like it is taking a toll on him.
When you made the comment, "I am here for you" I think that was great! It didn't add another burden to his already heavy plate. You actually showed that if he would like help in carrying the plate that you have your hands under there to help. You didn't jump up and sit on the plate like a whiny, girlfriend who needs some sort of assurance that you are a great girlfriend and that you need help. He needs support and you went beyond how you feel and kept your focus on him. Good for you.
If it takes a few weeks for the closing to happen then let him have that. If he never calls again then you know there was no love there. You were brilliant in you response and he has nothing bad to say about you.
My boyfriend and I have been together 10 months total. The last 4 months have been long distance because he found a good job in another state and left. I have stayed behind for now, but before he left he did talk of me moving there and 2 months ago when I went to visit him he kept telling me to get a one way ticket and stay there.
The last 2 weeks he has been distant and not wanting to talk to me. He is trying to buy a house, and he started the paper work with the bank for the mortgage and that is when he did a total 180. 2 weeks ago when I talked to him he said he was not happy with the bank and it is draining. I told him I felt like I was bugging him, and he said nah I just haven't been in the best mood. A few days after that I got a hold of him again, and he said I decided to say f it and drink tonight (he rarely does). He complained a little about the bank and said he is starting to not even care. I said I've never seen you like this and he just said sorry I'm going to finish my drink and go to bed and he wouldn't talk more after that.
Sunday night, which is the last time I talked to him, he said he still waiting to hear from the bank. I asked how he's been and he said hanging in. I got nervous and asked if everything was ok with us, he just said I've just been really down, not yes or no to that question. I asked it what was wrong and he said everythings just piling in on him at once. I ended it with I'm here for you if you need to talk and if you want to be left alone, its ok. He said thanks and I have not heard from him since.
Does this sound like he is going to break up with me, or just the stress from buying the house and everything? He works 40 hours also, as well as I. I have never bought a house, so I don't know if its really that bad,
Thanks everyone
It sounds like he has a lot on his plate right now. Constantly asking if everything is ok isn't helping. He has made it pretty clear he's stressed. Why don't you go visit? You'll be able to better figure out the situation in person anyway.
Buying a house is very stressful. I haven't as of yet but I remember when my friend bought her first house in Atlanta, that is all she would talk about everytime we contacted one another. Just hang on. Everything after this gets better.
I think you're doing the right thing in offering support, then backing off. (But don't schedule the yard sale to sell your stuff before moving down there!)
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