Ladies or Gentlemen Would You Disqualify Someone Living With Their Parent(s)??? (dating, women)
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Say they have a high paying job and savings that together would mean they could move out and buy a home. Say they own their own vehicle, but they choose to own a "sub-standard" one because they think driving themselves is tedious. Say they like being at home and or around their parents. Say they have a good personality. Is all that disregarded because they live at home? Is there anything wrong with living at home after a certain age?
I think guys tend to look past this, but that women would typify any man living at home regardless of the reason barring his parents being ill as "momma's boy". Does anyone else think this double standard is true?
I would not disqualify a woman strickly for living with her parents.
However, I was in a relationship for a year and a half once where the woman I was with lived at her parents house. It was immediately following her divorce (caused by her having an affair with me) and she said it would be temporary because her and her husband sold their house due to the divorce.
She kept most of her things at her parents house, but had some stuff at my house (like clothes, personal items, etc) and was really only at her parents house about one day a week and sometimes just a couple of days a month. She basically lived at my house the entire time. Which worked out great for her because since it was my house I paid the mortgage, all of the utilities, groceries etc and spent an incredible amount of money on her. She actually liked staying/living at my house as long as their was not any adult responsibility associated with it, while at the same time having the option to always eventually go back to her parents house if things did not work out with us. And I only had one rule, that she eventually broke which was cheating. So it worked out great for her because she just transitioned back to her parents house and went on with her life.
Most of her decisions regarding financial matters was based on her being pathologically cheap. She always acted like she did not have any money (despite the distributions from her grandfather's trust fund) and she did work but she always talked about how she put the maximum amount in her IRA's every year which at the time was $4,000 for her Roth IRA and $4,000 in her traditional IRA and she had over 20% of her paychecks put into her 401k and in a way almost hoarded money in every way. And because she "lived" at her parents house but was actually at mine 5-6 days a week she did not have any rent and/or utilities to pay and she had paid off her car with some of the money from the sale of her house when she got divorced. So, all things considered, it was really sad she never helped with anything at my house, amidst a year and a half of claiming she was going to move in "to be with you fulltime." Whatever. And I covered all the costs associated with the lavish trips she wanted to go on, as well as every single dinner for a year and a half except for one dinner where she decided to pay for it. Surprise, surprise. . . she had a gift card for the place we were eating at that a friend of hers got her for her birthday. I was like WTF.
Anyway, it's like if someone lives with their parents because they do not have anywhere else to live, that is understandable. But if it is part of a more general plan they have to incorporate being ridiculously cheap in every aspect of their lives as well as lacking the maturity to function and behave like an adult in society then that is kind of a red flag.
And on a sidenote. During the inital stages of her cheating towards the end of the relationship, she used the cover of being at her parent's house as a smoke screen to hide where she really was. The new guy's place. So, in the end she always had alternate motives for maintaining the situation the way it was. The absolute irony of the whole thing was - after I ran intel on the new clown. It turned out that he ALSO lived at his parents house, although in the downstairs part of the house so it was kind of like a separate living area. Either way, I still to this day find that aspect of it all seriously pathetic. Their little facade of a relationship lasted a while. With both of them still living at their parent's houses. WTF
I'm a guy so I couldn't care less if a chick still lives at home with her parents. Even if she were 38 years old with no job/career, I would not care at all as long as she looks good and is fun to be around.
Only females care about a guy still living at home.
Doesn't matter. It all depends on the person. That said, many people are too attached to their parents (or a parent) and that causes problems. Check it out carefully.
Doesn't matter. It all depends on the person. That said, many people are too attached to their parents (or a parent) and that causes problems. Check it out carefully.
There are a lot of factors for opposite sex to disqualify one another for living with their parents. I know for us guys we really don't care if a woman is living with her parents, as long as it keeps her stable its ok, if the woman is fun and bangable, however if she is living with her parents but she has a kid and shares a same room with her child for me that raises a red flag. Dont get me wrong I live with my parent too but guess what I run the house, rent, bills food on the table etc. Basiclly my mom lives with me. As for women disqualifying guys for living with their parents, I really have no comment. Women need to understand that in tthese days a lot of people are sick, a guy can be living with his parents to financially assist his parent or parents, its hard enough for people to afford an retirement home or hospice.
Say they have a high paying job and savings that together would mean they could move out and buy a home. Say they own their own vehicle, but they choose to own a "sub-standard" one because they think driving themselves is tedious. Say they like being at home and or around their parents. Say they have a good personality. Is all that disregarded because they live at home? Is there anything wrong with living at home after a certain age?
I think guys tend to look past this, but that women would typify any man living at home regardless of the reason barring his parents being ill as "momma's boy". Does anyone else think this double standard is true?
If you're a girl, it will be a problem with a minority of guys but on the whole not a big deal.
If you're a guy, it's a huge problem. It's not a 100% hurdle mind you - you can still get laid, have a relationship, etc. - but it takes you out of the traditional dating market, so you have to meet people through alternative channels (friend of a friend of a friend and that sort of thing).
All the above is for people in their twenties; if you are older (regardless of gender), unless you are taking care of your parents (see Bronx's post above), get out ASAP.
I wouldn't have a problem with it. I'd rather she would be able to move out debt free than be up to her eyeballs in debt and have to try to sell a dump in a sh*tty neighborhood or vice versa a over priced 5,000 square foot plush show off home in this lousy economy right now.
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