People who date, in the early stages by going to movies or music concerts (man, love)
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Why not let her pick the first date? Aren't you a proponent of women asking men out? Doesn't the date go with that?
i think it might be hard to understand if you aren't a man who has dated a lot
i can't count the number of times i've said something like "so what would you like to do?" and recieved "whatever you would like to do" in reply. from bright, successful, confident and otherwise not-infuriating women
eventually you learn to just make a decision. usually she'll let you know if it's not something she wants to do too (probably through body language) so you just need to pay attention
ultimately i suppose it's a healthy lesson
there are exceptions of course. likely you are one of the assertive exceptions
mind you, this isn't some huge bonus for us. sometimes it's nice not to have to make decisions. i make enough of them for work, school, family, etc.
but in the end having to think of date options is one of those "problems you want to have"
You're not doing what YOU want to do, as you said. You figured out what she likes and arranged a date around that. Essentially doing what she will (hopefully) want to do.
Why not let her pick the first date? Aren't you a proponent of women asking men out? Doesn't the date go with that?
Yes, I can see your argument if you are a musician. That would make sense.
I actualy am doing exactly what i want to do, ive wanted to see that show for a couple of months now, and i just found a perfect opportunity to do so. Im also bringing a camera along so i can take some awesome pics as well.
Because in general women appreciate a man who is a leader, who is assertive, can pick a place and time as well as someone they can look up to and respect. A guy who does what he is told by his woman, or always bends to her wishes - will never be that man.
i think it might be hard to understand if you aren't a man who has dated a lot
i can't count the number of times i've said something like "so what would you like to do?" and recieved "whatever you would like to do" in reply. from bright, successful, confident and otherwise not-infuriating women
eventually you learn to just make a decision. usually she'll let you know if it's not something she wants to do too (probably through body language) so you just need to pay attention
ultimately i suppose it's a healthy lesson
there are exceptions of course. likely you are one of the assertive exceptions
mind you, this isn't some huge bonus for us. sometimes it's nice not to have to make decisions. i make enough of them for work, school, family, etc.
but in the end having to think of date options is one of those "problems you want to have"
Yes, I can be assertive. It hasn't caused me any problems yet, so who knows... I can go either way, though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by OdysseusNY
erm, perhaps i didn't express myself well
i meant some women would see a guy who *doesn't* pick the first date as having a red flag
is that what you meant to agree with?
No. If a guy insisted on picking the first date and wouldn't tell me what it was, even after I asked, I would take note. That's doesn't mean it would create an issue, but I would notice.
I do not like surprises, so that's part of my issue with it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012
I actualy am doing exactly what i want to do, ive wanted to see that show for a couple of months now, and i just found a perfect opportunity to do so. Im also bringing a camera along so i can take some awesome pics as well.
Because in general women appreciate a man who is a leader, who is assertive, can pick a place and time as well as someone they can look up to and respect. A guy who does what he is told by his woman, or always bends to her wishes - will never be that man.
Well, that way you presented your first argument was "Do what YOU want to do, period." This is not the same thing. You're considering her feelings and that's a good thing.
I'm not going to comment on your last statement. Could cause a war.
No. If a guy insisted on picking the first date and wouldn't tell me what it was, even after I asked, I would take note. That's doesn't mean it would create an issue, but I would notice.
whoa hold the phone
who said anything about not telling her what the plan was?
My theory is kind of unless you kind of know each other a bit already, a movie or a concert would make a bad first date because you're primarily sitting in silence for a few hours instead of trying to get to know each other.
If you already know a little about each other, then that's a different story. However I would hate it if I got dragged to a concert or movie that I was not in agreement with.
Well, that way you presented your first argument was "Do what YOU want to do, period." This is not the same thing. You're considering her feelings and that's a good thing.
I'm not going to comment on your last statement. Could cause a war.
oh, i gotcha. i was repsonding to that particular post, concerning a specific type of concert or a movie. i thought you meant in general. I think my last statement is very true, and ive fought a few wars so no worries. In my opinion, a guy who has a plan for the first date or even first few dates, is a much more attractive option to the ladies than a guy who leaves all the decision making to his date. Its not even close. I thought no one would really refute that, common knowledge type stuff.
In my opinion, a guy who has a plan for the first date or even first few dates, is a much more attractive option to the ladies than a guy who leaves all the decision making to his date. Its not even close. I thought no one would really refute that, common knowledge type stuff.
I agree, if you're asking someone out, you should have a plan for something in mind and see if they're on board with that, rather than passing the buck. And the plan should be with them in mind, not just yourself.
I think my last statement is very true, and ive fought a few wars so no worries. In my opinion, a guy who has a plan for the first date or even first few dates, is a much more attractive option to the ladies than a guy who leaves all the decision making to his date. Its not even close. I thought no one would really refute that, common knowledge type stuff.
Your truth doesn't apply to everyone. While I like a dominant guy (if that's the right term), I also like someone who has some give. Note that I didn't say I want to make ALL the decisions.
You say common knowledge, but it's actually common belief....simply because it's not fact.
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