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You are entitled to your choice...if you don't want to be with a single mother then you shouldn't be. Problem is as you get older, logically the pool of women without children decreases. Personally I would rather not get involved again in a long term relationship with a woman with children. I say this for the following reasons (I know I'm going to get bashed for this but it's the truth from my own personal experience)
1. You will NEVER be the birth father and the children especially if they know/love their father will remind you of this fact.
2. I'm sure you've seen it on so many profiles "My children are my life" "My kids come first" guess what that means? You come after her children, herself, baby-daddies (that actually care) So if you are lucky you mite come 4th down depending on how many kids she has LOL. Reminder also these children with ALWAYS be HER children and NOT yours...after you put your heart...soul...and hard earned money into helping to raise these children, she can suddenly leave you and take them with her! (yep that happens) and you are left nothing but heartbreak.
3. The REAL father (if he cares or not) will always be in the picture adding his influence, have you ever tried to discipline..try it lol guess what response you will get"YOUR NOT MY FATHER" "I WANT TO TALK TO MY REAL DAD" Yep that happens too trust me.
Now defense of single mothers It's almost never the plan to be single mother. If the child wasn't accidental and kept, most single mother have had their dreams and heart broken by chicken-sh-t men and out right jerks. So don't assume it's their fault their fault that they are alone with children
It's disturbing to me at least to see so many single mothers so young on dating website and they seem perfectly content being a mother at such a young age. Maybe it's just me and my old fashioned views of having kids after say 25.
Why shouldn't they be content? If you already have a kid I would think it'd be better to be happy you have a child than to kick yourself for it. If she's content with having another child that has a high chance of giving her 2 (or more) children with multiple fathers, then that's an issue.
You are entitled to your choice...if you don't want to be with a single mother then you shouldn't be. Problem is as you get older, logically the pool of women without children decreases. Personally I would rather not get involved again in a long term relationship with a woman with children. I say this for the following reasons (I know I'm going to get bashed for this but it's the truth from my own personal experience)
1. You will NEVER be the birth father and the children especially if they know/love their father will remind you of this fact.
2. I'm sure you've seen it on so many profiles "My children are my life" "My kids come first" guess what that means? You come after her children, herself, baby-daddies (that actually care) So if you are lucky you mite come 4th down depending on how many kids she has LOL. Reminder also these children with ALWAYS be HER children and NOT yours...after you put your heart...soul...and hard earned money into helping to raise these children, she can suddenly leave you and take them with her! (yep that happens) and you are left nothing but heartbreak.
3. The REAL father (if he cares or not) will always be in the picture adding his influence, have you ever tried to discipline..try it lol guess what response you will get"YOUR NOT MY FATHER" "I WANT TO TALK TO MY REAL DAD" Yep that happens too trust me.
Now defense of single mothers It's almost never the plan to be single mother. If the child wasn't accidental and kept, most single mother have had their dreams and heart broken by chicken-sh-t men and out right jerks. So don't assume it's their fault their fault that they are alone with children
From a woman's point of view, I don't wish to date a single father for many of these reasons. And yes, as you get older you are going to find it harder to meet someone who doesn't have them.
It's disturbing to me at least to see so many single mothers so young on dating website and they seem perfectly content being a mother at such a young age. Maybe it's just me and my old fashioned views of having kids after say 25.
it was a shock to me, too. i'm just inured to it now, human beings are scum.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snd485
I'm sure it only seems like there are more single moms than dads because a lot of the dads are absent parents
when you get to the real dregs of society, you're not talking about a situation where monogamy is the norm. it's typical to have a small group of 'alpha' type guys that are having a ton of sex with a large group of women, while the majority of men are having sex rarely if at all.
It's disturbing to me at least to see so many single mothers so young on dating website and they seem perfectly content being a mother at such a young age. Maybe it's just me and my old fashioned views of having kids after say 25.
So they should be miserable and whining that life didn't work out the way they wanted it to?
I don't really understand, how are they supposed to act on a dating website as a single mother? Are they supposed to act desperate for someone? Are they supposed to act like they hate their situation and/or their child?
It is disturbing to me that you can't understand why someone would want to make the best of their situation, especially being that a child's life will be impacted.
It seems that about 8 of every 10 profiles I look at on a dating websit, it is a single mother.
I could understand if they were in their late 20's early 30's and were in a LTR or divorced. But I see an overwhelming 19-13 y/o's with kids, and they have no clue what a LTR even is.
there was one on here, that was 19, with a 5 y/o, you do the math.
Is it so hard for women not to have kids? I am 27, and I have none.(that I know of-lol)
53% of all kids born in America were born under the medicaid program in the last 10 years... so technically the government was their father...
You are entitled to your choice...if you don't want to be with a single mother then you shouldn't be. Problem is as you get older, logically the pool of women without children decreases. Personally I would rather not get involved again in a long term relationship with a woman with children. I say this for the following reasons (I know I'm going to get bashed for this but it's the truth from my own personal experience)
1. You will NEVER be the birth father and the children especially if they know/love their father will remind you of this fact.
2. I'm sure you've seen it on so many profiles "My children are my life" "My kids come first" guess what that means? You come after her children, herself, baby-daddies (that actually care) So if you are lucky you mite come 4th down depending on how many kids she has LOL. Reminder also these children with ALWAYS be HER children and NOT yours...after you put your heart...soul...and hard earned money into helping to raise these children, she can suddenly leave you and take them with her! (yep that happens) and you are left nothing but heartbreak.
3. The REAL father (if he cares or not) will always be in the picture adding his influence, have you ever tried to discipline..try it lol guess what response you will get"YOUR NOT MY FATHER" "I WANT TO TALK TO MY REAL DAD" Yep that happens too trust me.
Now defense of single mothers It's almost never the plan to be single mother. If the child wasn't accidental and kept, most single mother have had their dreams and heart broken by chicken-sh-t men and out right jerks. So don't assume it's their fault their fault that they are alone with children
I agree with most of your post, and I think men and women both need to do a lot of soul searching before thinking about getting in a LTR with someone who has kids. I always feel sorry for the kids.
As far as putting the kids first, it seems from what I see that this doesn't always happen. Men and women both have no problems marrying someone who isn't crazy about their soon to stepkids.
Classic scenario I've seen over and over. The mom has an adolescent kid. The kid really doesn't care for the new "dad", but really isn't allowed to verbalize this in any way...instead kid is told to "respcect" him. Fast forward a couple of years...and the kid starts acting out, getting in trouble....and everyone acts like this is a surprise.
Or you have the brand new step mom who gets enraged at the amount of money her ex has to pay in child support. One woman I know had a stepdaughter and she was always mad that the stepdaughter didn't "love" the kids she'd had with the stepdaughter's dad in the way she should. Bizarro.
Anyway, I know I've taken the thread off track a bit. I also know everyone won't agree with me for thinking about things from the point of view of the kids.
"Originally, Medicaid categories were defined by welfare recipient status, but this began to change in the mid-1980's and ceased completely with the passage of welfare reform in the mid-1990's. Over its history, the Medicaid program has changed from a program to provide health insurance to the welfare population to a catch-all program that provides health and long term care services to around 40 million people at a cost of $170 billion dollars to federal and state governments. As of 2000, Medicaid was the source of health care insurance for one in four American children and covered 40 percent of all births."
As of 2010 this was 53%. I will need to find that research again, but you can see it was trending up even back in the year 2000 @ 40%.
Why worry about fathering a child when the government is taking on responsibility.
Last edited by Suncc49; 07-25-2012 at 01:08 PM..
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