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Are you someone who dates multiple people at once? Or do you prefer to date one person at a time and see what happens? Why?
I personally can only date one person at a time. I get too attached easily, and if I dated multiple men at once it wouldn't be fair to the guys I like if I kept talking to them and leading them on when I was emotionally unavailable. The downside of this, of course, is things might not work out and then you have to start from scratch again.
So, what are your preferences and why? And if you're someone who dates multiple people at once, how do you remain emotionally detached enough to do it?
I date multiple women at once, but at times it becomes a headache to be perfectly honest. Just trying to juggle your schedule and keep it flexible, is not the easiest thing in the world.
I did when I was dating. Of course, I think it depends on your definitions and time frames. I would often meet several different women and perhaps go on one to three dates before deciding if they were a good match for my exclusive interest. Very few made it beyond a first meet or first date, so often there wasn't much overlap anyway.
I think it can take up to three dates to decide if someone is worth exclusive attention. I also think that if you have the option to meet several people within a short time, you're more likely to meet someone who suits you far sooner than if you don't. I also found that a lot of the time, none of the women I met were suitable, but I'd often be talking to others and hoped to meet one or more soon after.
At no time would I be dating several for extended periods of time, unless I had talked with them and we were in agreement. It was almost always very, very clear early on if we'd be a match. There was virtually no chance of liking more than one equally - there were always clear preferences. I think being clear about someone is much harder when you have no basis of comparison, because individually everyone has their good traits - even if those traits aren't sufficient for a relationship. It's too easy to get too attached if you don't have other prospects, and that leads to poor choices.
I think it would have taken me years to meet a great match if I'd met and dated only one at a time in sequence. I met over fifty during the year it did take me to find someone truly compatible. A good portion of those fifty I saw two or three times, but only a couple made it to an exclusive phase for a while.
You are very young and would wise to date often and as many different types of guys as you can.
THAT is how you learn about yourself and what your true preferences are for a mate in the long run.
Being exclusive with someone when you are just 18 just isn't a great plan.
I agree LM. I dated my HS sweetheart from 16-21. He wanted to get engaged, but I wasn't ready. Those were the days of bar bands and drinking legally at age 18. We were out having fun, and he was in the US Naval Academy. Once when he was home, we went out as a group and he saw me talking to another guy (who was a friend of my family) and he slapped my face because he was jealous....needless to say, I broke it off. Date and have fun. Too young to get tied down.
Are you someone who dates multiple people at once? Or do you prefer to date one person at a time and see what happens? Why?
I personally can only date one person at a time. I get too attached easily, and if I dated multiple men at once it wouldn't be fair to the guys I like if I kept talking to them and leading them on when I was emotionally unavailable. The downside of this, of course, is things might not work out and then you have to start from scratch again.
So, what are your preferences and why? And if you're someone who dates multiple people at once, how do you remain emotionally detached enough to do it?
Sure do date more than one and I let them all know too. However, dating is not sleeping with these guys for me. I mean going out for drinks, dinner, karaoke, to play pool, watch sports, just have a good time. I do this until I find the "one" who does it for me and also wants to start dating exclusively. I don't even have to try to be emotionally detached. I am somewhat aloof by nature. I don't know how to explain it. It's harder for me to get attached though. I mean a guy has got to be a serious gem for me to become attached. Never had an issue with dating this way. Main thing is to be upfront and honest. I also have NEVER had a guy tell me they are not going to date me because I am seeing other guys. I have only had them work harder to make me happy.
I have however had one guy tell me after two months of dating that he could continue dating me but he was not going to be "spending so much" on me if I didn't make a decision soon. I respected him for that. As a matter of fact he eventually became my boyfriend. See both sides just need to be honest with no force.
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