Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Hey,
I am not sure where to put this, so mods, please move this if this is in the wrong area.
I recently moved 600 miles away from home. I am 26 years old, only child, shy and somewhat attached to my family. I got a great oppertunity, that I couldn't pass up a few months ago. The grass is greener where I am now. Its cheaper living, I commute 45 minutes less, to a job that I like, and the best job I've ever had to date. To top things off, I just got a glowing 45-day review. Labor Day weekend, being a new hire, I got that Monday off and went home. It was g-r-e-a-t! In 26 years years, there is no greater feeling then walking into your parents house, saying "hi" and have your dogs run as fast as they can to great you and be so excited to see you. The drive is 10 hours, but it is an easy job. 90% Highway. I plug in my iphone and listen to pandora radio, the time goes by fast. People call me crazy "oh my God, you are driving 10 hours?"
When I return to my "home" away from the parents, for the first day I feel down. I feel home sick. I wonder if I've made the wrong decision. Like I said, I am an only child and I know its hard on my parents. I know that they want me to be sucessful, and honestly, that won't happen in my home town, let alone my home state. I am trying to keep the "best of both worlds" and go home a weekend each month.
I know, like last time, that these sad feelings and homesickness will go away soon; within hours. I am sitting here at work, and once I get into the swing of things again, it'll feel like I never left.
Is anyone been in the same boat as me? Any advice?
As an only child who just left her hometown at 35, I will say CONGRATULATIONS. You had the guts to do what I couldn't bring myself to do for so so so long. Isn't it awesome? My only regret is that I didn't make that move when I was your age.
Of course you will feel homesick and miss your family. But ya know what? People have been leaving home since the dawn of time, and they didn't have the extraordinary travel and communications technology that we have today. You'll live. It will get less. Your parents should be happy you are happy.
But go home less. Seriously. Focus on building your life in your new city. Meetup.org, dog parks, 5k runs, volunteering, concerts - whatever you can do to get yourself out of the house and building connections and meeting people. Eventually that ache will fade (though probably never completely - I still wake up some mornings wishing I could just go for a long drive through the Jersey Pine Barrens).
Yes, it does feel great. Here is the weird thing. I know IF I were to move back home, I would regret it deeply and wonder what would happen if I were to stay in this new city. We use to skype on Sundays and I use to call home, but I guess I feel that it would make it worse, plus, honestly there is nothing to talk about. Nothing is really new. I think my thing is I need to keep busy. I will pull up meetup.org and getting myself out and about. I know the hardest part is climbing into bed alone. Its just an odd feeling, to have this apartment to myself, but for it to be so quiet. I even thought about getting a roommate to get some "life" into the apartment, but then again I don't want to open up a can of worms, and I can only see drama.
Is there anything else you like about where you are - other than the job?
Have you made friends, experienced things you never would of otherwise had you stayed where you were born, learned new things about yourself etc since moving?
Just because you're in the new city now, doesn't mean you're ALWAYS going to be there, it's not a life a sentence at any means.
When you're feeling down, give your parents a quick call (you don't only have to call when there's news..), think of the redeeming qualities, realize your time there will eventually end, and find a positive outlet for your emotions (exercise, write, etc).
Earth,
Besides the job, I guess I like that there are things to do around me. Back home, I would have to drive 1 hr to do things, to visit friends, to go to work and school. I have made a few new friends. I lived here for a year from 2007-2008, but returned home to finish college and I was in the bad part of town. I kept in touch with one of my friends and his wife via email, phone and text and then, when I graduated college, I decided to have another look and was told that I would like their part of town better, and I did.
I think I feel down for a few reasons:
My "friends" (yes, notice the quotes) seemed to be different than they were years ago. Something, or someone sucked the life out of them. They treat me more like they are my parents (oftening questioning the decisions I make), despite only being a few years older than I. I enjoy airplanes, and decided to drive across town, 45 minutes to watch airplanes one day. "Oh my God, you drove 45 minutes to the airport???????" I replied with "Yes, 45 minutes is nothing for me". I guess I feel that being closer to my friends here was a big factor in me moving back, but with the way I've been treated, I wish I would've done things differently.
I have attempted to make a few friends, but I guess its not going as well as I had hoped. It also doesn't help that my "friends" from my home town, now miss me and all come out of the wood works "oh you gotta tell me when you're back in town so we can hang." Now that I am 600 miles away, you have the time for me?
Honestly, I haven't learned too much about myself since I've been here. The only thing I accomplished was to lose about 15lbs. I honestly don't do much, and perhaps that's my issue.
Yes, it does feel great. Here is the weird thing. I know IF I were to move back home, I would regret it deeply and wonder what would happen if I were to stay in this new city. We use to skype on Sundays and I use to call home, but I guess I feel that it would make it worse, plus, honestly there is nothing to talk about. Nothing is really new. I think my thing is I need to keep busy. I will pull up meetup.org and getting myself out and about. I know the hardest part is climbing into bed alone. Its just an odd feeling, to have this apartment to myself, but for it to be so quiet. I even thought about getting a roommate to get some "life" into the apartment, but then again I don't want to open up a can of worms, and I can only see drama.
Do you like animals? Does your apartment complex allow for that? Cats are great for companionship, but dogs are better because then you meet other people when you're out and about.
Ooh - if you like pool or softball or something like that, join a league. I'm a spaz so I always forget about those options. But my cousins have met people that way too.
Maybe - but only if you have lots of time on your hands - get a retail job at a store you really like that has an environment you enjoy. I met a TON of people through my second job at a large bookstore, expanded my literary and musical horizons and gained friendships that I still maintain a decade later.
Yes, but the apartment doesn't allow for pets. Yes, I looked at leagues and I need to start swimming (good for exercise). I don't think I'll have time for another job, but that is a great idea.
I might not be an only child and I might not be tied to my family as much as you and I might only be 19 and I might have moved from NY to Atlanta, but I just want to say congrats on the big move. The homesickness is understandable but it's a part of growing up.
Is anyone been in the same boat as me? Any advice?
Let it gel for a while. The first question I have is "is this an area or city that you were amenable moving to, independent of a job?"
Atlanta, coming from the West, had a very weird effect on me. I loved almost everything about the city/metro area and made friends. However, there were a few things that precluded me from wanting to become romantically attached. Those things were the knowledge that I would never have the roots as some of the people I knew, who spent holidays with family right in the area and were fanatical about Yellow Jackets, Bulldogs, Crimson Tide, Gators and Seminoles, in addition to attributes I had that were deemed somewhat brash (Northeastern) and too casual (Western) for the culture. To create deep roots in an area that is so culturally different and 2,200 miles away from "home" was perplexing. Sometimes, I wish I would have taken that "leap of faith," but I did not do so and returned West.
Your specifics in this situation matter. But, yes, going home and seeing family, friends, and pets is invigorating. I felt a slight knot when the plane would take off over the ocean in LAX and then make that wide sweep to turn eastward toward Atlanta after a trip to see family and friends.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
