Living with a person before marriage. (dates, how to, woman, love)
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I know some of you are virgins that would like to keep their virginity until after marriage...
How are you open to living with your SO before marriage? I ask this because I am a virgin myself, but because of my own standards I wouldn't mind keeping someones personal vow... As long as I got to live with them.
I am the child of an overseas-online-marriage gone wrong, to the point where their marriage and their incapabilities of taking care of the house is literally endangering the physical condition of the house.
Now outside, my folks aren't that bad, my step-dad keeps a good job and my mom is an ordinary woman out in public.
Their initial dates and interactions before they moved in seemed fine... I actually liked my step-dad at that time.
Turns out that once they got married and moved in, the house started falling apart and there was no peace in the family ever again. These people have never learned how to live together. I don't know how they put up with each other, nor do I know how long are they going to stay together, however, I do know that I want my family to be absolutely nothing like the household I was raised in.
No relationship can ever be perfect. No safeguards, smart choices, or careful planning will prevent things going to hell in a handcart, if that's the way they are headed.
There are no guarantees.
I too was raised in a war zone, swore I would never do it myself, married for love which lasted through 7 years and 2 kids and then just fell apart.
The main reason? Hindsight now tells me that a guy who is a dirty young man will turn into a dirty old man in time, which is nowhere near cute or fun.
I could've lived with him for months before we married, in fact I did, but no warning in the world could control how he changed, nor how I changed...suddenly seeing him for what he was.
I don't see what the big deal is. I'm personally not ready to live with someone else yet, but I don't get why some people bash at those who do. I mean, c'mon, it's their business. Not yours.
Well, real marriage requires serious agreements and a little hard work. You have to agree to get along with one another peacefully and as happily as possible. Everyone is going to turn out to be a little different than you were expecting them to be. People change over time and don't always show themselves to be who they are when you're still in the romantic stages. At a certain point, you just have to negotiate and deal with whatever crops up.
Part of being married is keeping a clean and comfortable environment for yourself, your partner, and the rest of the family. It's just normal stuff: washing clothes and dishes, putting things away, buying food that's healthy and tasty; you know, basic housekeeping.
The living together and sex before or after part is not as big a deal as some people make it out to be. Whether you're a virgin or not, you will still have to do all of the other grown up things at some point in your life. Otherwise you're a miserable mess like your folks are.
Personally, I think it's not a bad idea to live separately till you're ready to be married. It sets the stage for greater responsibilities --and probably a higher level of happiness once you're ready for that kind of thing.
Maybe you could live with the person 5 or 6 months before the marriage? I dunno. You need to find ways to see what kind of home they keep. I knew a couple that got divorced over one of them being a complete slob and hoarder with no intentions to stop.
Maybe you could live with the person 5 or 6 months before the marriage? I dunno. You need to find ways to see what kind of home they keep. I knew a couple that got divorced over one of them being a complete slob and hoarder with no intentions to stop.
You can also spend a lot of time in the other person's home and get an idea of how they like to keep house. I was once so in love with a guy who is pretty much a hoarder -- and this was before the hoarder shows became popular. I used to try to clean up for him and made no real progress. I guess I am lucky we broke up!
Best thing ever happened was this forum, you can learn a little from everyone.
I don't want to live with someone before marriage. Just a personal choice for me.
I don't think living together has any bearing on whether you will be more compatible after marriage. Just look at the sky high divorce rate...I'm sure many of those couples lived together before marriage.
I lived with my husband before we got married. It worked for us and I wouldn't have changed a thing. We knew exactly what we were getting into and we were prepared.
You can also spend a lot of time in the other person's home and get an idea of how they like to keep house. I was once so in love with a guy who is pretty much a hoarder -- and this was before the hoarder shows became popular. I used to try to clean up for him and made no real progress. I guess I am lucky we broke up!
Best thing ever happened was this forum, you can learn a little from everyone.
I didn't answer the OP, I wouldn't live with someone before marriage either. The men interested too much in getting 'freebies' with zero commitment, so no thanks.
I was just thinking of ways the OP could figure out his situation that might work...The couple I knew was also well before that show came on the air....was the guy you were with named Chris? Did you marry him? Does your name start with a B? LOL.
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