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It useless for me to even like a woman. I'm too shy to even say hi to one! I've tried getting rid of my shyness and nothing works. Knowing I can't get a woman to like me, I just bury my feelings and hope they go away for good. I can't approach a woman because I get scared. I do feel sad about this sometimes but I was born this way. I just want to bury my feelings towards women for good and not have to worry about liking them because I can't do anything about it. How do I do this?
It useless for me to even like a woman. I'm too shy to even say hi to one! I've tried getting rid of my shyness and nothing works. Knowing I can't get a woman to like me, I just bury my feelings and hope they go away for good. I can't approach a woman because I get scared. I do feel sad about this sometimes but I was born this way. I just want to bury my feelings towards women for good and not have to worry about liking them because I can't do anything about it. How do I do this?
The more women you befriend, the more comfortable you will feel approaching them I think. Try to make friends with women who are not overly attractive to you, since I remember you didn't want to befriend women you have romantic interests in.
Good ways: Throwing yourself into career, taking up a new hobby and getting passionate about it, reconnecting with old hobbies, get a part time job, volunteer, do community service, mentor a child, coach a sports team, learn a new skill, take a class, start exercising etc. etc.
Bad ways: Start drinking a lot, take up cigarettes/tobacco, get really into gambling, start taking all kinds of different drugs until you settle on one or a few you really like, start compulsively visiting strip clubs/prostitutes, etc. etc. etc.
But at the end of the day, what you're trying to do is not possible.
It useless for me to even like a woman. I'm too shy to even say hi to one! I've tried getting rid of my shyness and nothing works. Knowing I can't get a woman to like me, I just bury my feelings and hope they go away for good. I can't approach a woman because I get scared. I do feel sad about this sometimes but I was born this way. I just want to bury my feelings towards women for good and not have to worry about liking them because I can't do anything about it. How do I do this?
Born this way? No. You claim to have had a couple of girlfriends in the past. What changed? Are you losing your marbles or something? Have you seen a psychiatric professional if so?
Good ways: Throwing yourself into career, taking up a new hobby and getting passionate about it, reconnecting with old hobbies, get a part time job, volunteer, do community service, mentor a child, coach a sports team, learn a new skill, take a class, start exercising etc. etc.
Bad ways: Start drinking a lot, take up cigarettes/tobacco, get really into gambling, start taking all kinds of different drugs until you settle on one or a few you really like, start compulsively visiting strip clubs/prostitutes, etc. etc. etc.
But at the end of the day, what you're trying to do is not possible.
I have to make it possible. And I don't drink, smoke, gamble, sleep with prostitutes, or go to clubs. Not my things.
Pursue non-romantic opportunities to associate with women, including relatives and co-workers, married or single, young or old, ugly or cute. All have something to teach you, even if they don't know it.
Don't plan conversations, just start with comments or sentences or questions where appropriate.
Pretend to listen when they talk, try to keep your eyes above their necks, act like you've been around females before.
Born this way? No. You claim to have had a couple of girlfriends in the past. What changed? Are you losing your marbles or something? Have you seen a psychiatric professional if so?
I could pet a lion, swim with a shark, try to climb Mt. Everest, dance with wolves and I wouldn't be afraid. When it comes to women, I just get scared of them, I know I'm not good enough.
Pursue non-romantic opportunities to associate with women, including relatives and co-workers, married or single, young or old, ugly or cute. All have something to teach you, even if they don't know it.
Don't plan conversations, just start with comments or sentences or questions where appropriate.
Pretend to listen when they talk, try to keep your eyes above their necks, act like you've been around females before.
Do I just fake this? I'm not used to being around women. They make me nervous.
Well, you might want to start with addressing your lying. For example, in one thread you said you never met your mother, in another, you live with your mother. Which is it? Why do you feel the need to lie on an anonymous forum?
I could pet a lion, swim with a shark, try to climb Mt. Everest, dance with wolves and I wouldn't be afraid. When it comes to women, I just get scared of them, I know I'm not good enough.
Part of your problem seems to be you don't value yourself enough. You say you can do all those things, and I realize you are just giving examples. But what I get from this is you are not a weak and timid person. You've probably done some pretty cool things in your time, right?
You just need to channel your experiences into conversational talking points. That stuff is interesting to someone. Some girl out there has done some of it too and is dying to share her stories with someone. And the way you find her is forums where mutual interests are discussed. I once found myself dating a girl I met on a sports forum where we were talking about football. We both lived in Denver and met up for drinks and had several follow on dates. It can happen. You just need to tap into your experience and explore how it may be of interest to a woman out there.
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